The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Why is it that so many athletes feel that they're God's chosen ones? While I would probably label myself as an agnostic and don't necessarily believe in a higher power, this kind of thinking still puzzles me. Following the Baltimore Ravens' 28-13 win over the New England Patriots in yesterday's AFC Championship Game, vaulting them to the Super Bowl to face the San Francisco 49ers in a couple weeks, Pro-Bowl and future Hall-of-Fame linebacker Ray Lewis thanked God first and foremost, talked about God believing in him, God's plan for he and his team, and I don't remember what else. While I respect Mr. Lewis' religious beliefs generally speaking, I have trouble understanding or agreeing with him that the Ravens are going to the Super Bowl because it was part of God's plan. Lewis isn't the first such athlete to say such things before, of course. It seems like approximately 2 out of 5 times I hear an athlete speak after attaining success in a g...

I hate to sound like Mr. anti-romance or a skeptic of love, but after watching a romantic comedy last night and hearing this woman's story about how it was destiny that she ended up with a particular guy, I felt the need to write about it. She said something along the lines of, "He approached me and asked about a book I was reading and that's how it started. What if he had been late that day and we missed each other at the coffeshop? What if I wasn't reading that very book? What if he hadn't read that book? It was fate." Given Twitter and like sites where people like to believe that they are the center of the universe and even if they're just munching on a bagel while completely naked dancing in the living room to "Sunglasses at Night," they feel the world wants to know. We've become an extremely narcissistic society and I think this idea of romantic fate or destiny is a prime example of that. Perhaps it's partially due to Hollywood...

Chosen To Be… Dependent Upon The Uncontrollable In the perfect place, At the perfect time, Destined for glory, Destined for paradise, Born into this world, With no choice of my raisers, No choice of their wealth, No choice of my location, From birth until death, Told I was very fortunate, One of the very few, Who will experience such glory, Told I will be saved, If I believe in him, Told I will live eternally, If I worship him, Born into this world, With no choice of my raisers, No choice of their wealth, No choice of my location, Dependent upon the uncontrollable, We’re born into this world, All believing we are the chosen, Others damned for that beyond their control.

Choice Is Not An Option The day on which I was born, The day on which I will die, The people whom raised me, The places where I reside, The schools where I was a student, The classes which I attended, The extracurricular activities I took part in, The degrees that I earned, Where I was employed, For whom I worked, How long my stay was, My ultimate career path, The jokes to which I laugh, The music that I enjoy, The trips that I took, It was all predestined, My politics, My religion, My family, My friends, My hobbies, My dreams, My loves, My experiences, All was decided for me, Choice is not an option, Fated to write this poem, And declare that it’s nonsense.

Looking For Fate Searching in all the wrong places, Never getting it right, Told to stop looking, Fate will decide, I sit at a bar, A woman catches my eye, Do I walk over and say hello? Fate will decide, It’ll happen when I least expect it, Love will find me, She’ll fall into my arms, My soul mate, our destiny, I look all around me, Overwhelmed by the choices, Wanting to stand idly by, To let fate decide, Waiting for my fate, Waiting for my destiny, As the girl of my dreams walks by, Forever regretful for letting fate decide.

A Hollywood Fantasy The two lock eyes, Smiles are exchanged, The opening scene foreshadowing the inevitable, The couple’s fate, The two bump into one another, At a random place, Coincidence not being possible, It’s simply fate, Apologies and numbers are shared, A first date soon to come, Everything seemingly perfect, As the couple fall in love, Drama then unfolds, Trust is nearly broken, Secrets that went untold, The two separate for reflection, Magic then fills the air, Snow falls to the ground, The two suddenly appear, With Sinatra in the background, They again lock eyes, Move ever closer to one another, Their lips meet with a passion, As they live happily ever after, A Hollywood fantasy, How I wish it were true, Instead I’m stuck in reality, Not knowing what to do.

10. Whenever he hears Beck’s song, “Loser,” he excitedly yells, “Can you hear that? This is my song!” 9. He has a thing for guys in speedos. 8. He takes pride in providing you with, what he terms, a romantic evening, when he microwaved you popcorn before watching “The Silence of the Lambs”. 7. He goes downtown every day and holds up a sign which reads, “Will have sex for free”. 6. He has no Adam’s apple. 5. He runs away at the sight of a stroller. 4. Seven nuns have placed restraining orders against him. 3. When you role-play and he pretends to be a Hollywood star, he calls the proceedings his 15 seconds of fame. 2. Whenever he says hello to his mother, she flips him off. 1. (drum roll) When introducing you to his pastor, he refers to you as his bitch.