The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

It's largely known Utah Representative Jason Chaffetz has a way with numbers, and due to that, has decided to take the next step forward and become a college math professor. Earlier this year, Representative Chaffetz blew the minds of many when he lectured Planned Parenthood foes and supporters on the family planning organization's services, providing a chart which showcased that, while cancer screening & prevention services have decreased over the past 7 years, abortion procedures have increased in that same time-frame, and due to that, the 327,000 abortions Planned Parenthood was responsible for in 2013 was greater than the 935,573 cancer screening & prevention services the organization provided in that same year. Given that, the Utah Representative was kind enough to send me a copy of his first class lecture, which will go as follows:  "For our first class, I'm going to talk to you about numbers, but not just any numbers; I'm going to talk to ...

Once in a while (probably more often than I'd like to admit), I come across a commercial that appears to suggest that 99% of the viewing audience has a mean IQ of 56. A Flonase allergy relief nasal spray commercial is just the latest such ad. In this ad, the key line is, "Six is greater than one," referring to how the product will block six allergy symptoms as opposed to just one. Sure, it's good from an advertising perspective to point out that the product blocks six allergy symptoms. However, isn't there a better way of doing that than stating the obvious in an almost jokingly condescending way? "Six is greater than one!" No sh*t there, Sherlock... In any case, based on this commercial, expect Flonase to include the following words of wisdom in their upcoming ads: - "44 degrees is warmer than -44 degrees!" - "Right is to the right of left!" - "'War and Peace' is longer than a haiku!" - "Race cars a...