The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Ever have a dream where a person you haven't seen in 10-20 years makes an appearance and you wake up asking, "WTF?!?" This happened to me recently, where a high school friend of mine I haven't seen in 15 years appeared and I was wondering why. Granted, in the Facebook age, I have to think it's more common today than it was in yesteryear for a friend from 10-20 years ago to make an appearance in a dream. No matter how long ago it was you saw him/her face-to-face, they're seemingly always on your Facebook newsfeed. The last time I saw this person was roughly 15 years ago, so we'll say 2004. I was 23 years old, a year removed from brain surgery, about to earn my bachelor's degree, with a world of possibilities ahead of me. He and I were fairly close between the ages of 17 and 19, but then he kind of disappeared on me. I had never known why. While we lived different lives - me invested in school and him invested in partying - we still managed to have fun...

On a recent episode of the Fox News show The Next Revolution with Steve Hilton , conservative commentator and inspirer of the creatures in Alien  - Ann Coulter - said this: "They (Republicans) were exposed as a 'uniparty,' indistinguishable from the Democrats..." Let's break down just how similar the parties are: - Democrats believe in women's reproductive rights; Republicans don't. - Democrats believe in equal pay for equal work; Republicans don't. - Democrats believe in immigration reform and protecting DREAMers; Republicans don't. - Democrats believe in building from the bottom up; Republicans believe in trickle-down economics. - Democrats believe in tax reform benefitting the middle- and lower-classes at the expense of the upper-class; Republicans believe in tax reform benefitting the upper-class at the expense of the middle- and lower-classes. - Democrats believe in expanding education; Republicans believe in removing education...

Not long after the ugly turn of events which took place at the "Unite the Right" march in Charlottesville, Virginia on Saturday, many Republicans, led by President Donald Trump, attempted to deflect blame to the far-left group antifa and depict the marchers as alt-right in their ideology and not emblematic of the Republican Party as a whole. Regardless of these attempts at spin, however, there's a stark difference between the two groups and their relation to the Democrat and Republican parties, respectively. First off, for those who aren't familiar with the terms "alt-right" and "antifa," allow me to define them for you. Alt-right is short for "alternative right," which is, as reported by the Associated Press, "a name currently embraced by some white supremacists and white nationalists to refer to themselves and their ideology, which emphasizes preserving and protecting the white race in the United States in addition to, or over,...

I really hate that it's gotten to this point, but sadly, on December 14th of 2016, I feel I must explain the differences between satire and fake news. Sadder yet, renowned satirist Andy Borowitz has now decided to include the words "NOT THE NEWS" front and center on each and every one of his articles, because apparently, we're too stupid to figure that out for ourselves (well, some of us). I bring up Borowitz because, earlier today, a Facebook friend of mine commented on one of his articles, saying, "Fake news should be outlawed!" This prompted me to explain the differences between the two, in a condensed fashion, saying, "It's satire. If we went down that slippery slope, all comedy would be outlawed. There's a stark difference between 'fake news' with the intent of misinforming mass quantities of people to provide aid for a particular political agenda, and 'fake news' with the intent of stimulating thought and laughter by poki...

There's been a great deal of controversy swirling around HB2, a bill recently passed in North Carolina and signed by Governor Pat McCrory. The law prevents transgender individuals from using public restrooms of the gender with which they identify. This has led to a series of boycotts, ranging from businesspeople to athletes to musicians and beyond. One musician who cancelled a show in North Carolina due to the controversial bill was "The Boss" Bruce Springsteen. In response to his cancellation, several conservatives criticized the rock star for being hypocritical, as he cancelled a show in the U.S. due to anti-LGBT legislation yet didn't do so in foreign countries which possessed far more extreme anti-LGBT laws. I've heard this line of reasoning on multiple occasions from conservatives, especially with regard to the LGBT community: "Things aren't so bad here. Just be grateful you don't live in Africa or the Middle East" or "Why do you critic...

I read a Facebook post today which made me simultaneously shake my head and laugh, as I can't help but be dismayed by what many consider to be news nowadays. Brian Williams may have exaggerated or outright lied about a major story several years ago, yet a recent study also showed that Fox News exaggerates the truth or outright lies 61% of the time, not to mention that bumper stickers and online memes are passing as facts for many people anymore. As for the before-mentioned article which was posted on Facebook, it's titled, "'The difference between high school in 1970 and 2015' couldn't be more accurate," by Joshua Riddle of Young Conservatives . He didn't write the original "piece," but like many other right-leaning sites, has decided to spread the word from the anonymous author. Rumor has it Snopes.com  is conducting an investigation on the matter as we speak (or I type). Here's the article. I'll be sure to make some lovely remar...

With each and every election cycle, I begin to increasingly wonder if the Republican Party will change its name to the Oligarch Party. For as pro-freedom and liberty as their rhetoric typically is, it amazes me how anti-democratic the Republican Party has become. Allow me to compare the two parties on this front: Democratic Party - Wants to overturn Citizen's United so that corporations are limited in their campaign donations - Doesn't believe corporations are people - Wants to expand voting efforts to maximize voting on election day - Believes a strong economy is build from the base up - Doesn't believe in repressing certain demographics of voters Republican Party - Wants to maintain the Citizen's United ruling so corporations aren't limited in their campaign donations like people are - Believes corporations are people - Wants to restrict voting on election day - Believes in trickle-down economics - Believes in repressing certain demographic...

Online dating is an interesting phenomenon which appears to be steadily growing in popularity. While I've given such sites a gander on multiple occasions, despite its growing popularity, I see many pros and cons about such sites. As far as pros go, I think the main one is, unlike when attempting to start a conversation with someone at a bar and only going off their physical appearance to prompt you to do so, these sites provide a great deal more information, which can be quite helpful. As I've always said, no matter how physically attractive a person might be, that attraction can only hold my interest for so long before I get bored and lose complete interest in getting to know her better, and I start thinking, "Well, if I had known she couldn't hold a decent conversation before approaching her, I would have saved myself this headache and not talked to her at all." At least with online profiles, it can save people time, energy, and money on Advil, because they...

I've never been one to club. I enjoy going to bars with friends or family, joking around, listening to good music, people-watching, and pretending we're on the show Mystery Science Theater 3000  as we make up stories about these very people. However, while I have no problem talking to random people at bars and introducing myself by sticking out my right hand out, saying, "I'm Craig," and shaking the person's hand, I've never been too fond of being introduced to someone by them rubbing themselves up against me without even telling me their name. Maybe I'm strange like that, but as my mama always said, "When speaking to a lady for the first time, make sure you're respectful to her. Don't go rubbing your junk all over her in hopes that your territory is marked and she'll only talk to you the rest of the night. This is especially the case if you got that herpes thing that's been going around." Alright, so my mother never said that...

I stumbled upon what I found to be a somewhat interesting, yet perplexing conversation this past weekend. While I've often times said that it seriously seems as though men and women are from two different planets, there are other times I have to wonder if we're more similar than many like to believe. When it comes to relationships, most people seem to have a mental set of rules or guidelines, and as I've stated before, I think one essential criteria for a happy, healthy, long-lasting relationship is for a person to find another with whom their rules or guidelines match. Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling things won't work long-term if a guy only thinks sexual intercourse is cheating, while his girlfriend feels anything physical is. When the man starts kissing another woman, while he may not see it as cheating, his girlfriend will, and chances are the two will either split up right then and there or soon thereafter when another such event takes place. Since there ...

Men and women do tend to be from completely different planets. One major difference is how we tend to approach communication. Men tend to be blatant, while women tend to be subtle. This isn't always the case, of course, but more times than not, the two genders seem to fit those very labels. This gets both genders into trouble at times. Men can be so blatant at times that they come across as overly aggressive and turn women off because of it. Women, on the other hand, can be so subtle, that there's no chance any man (gay or straight) could understand what she's trying to get across. While I don't think men should be quite so blatant at times, I'd love for women to be less subtle. This has just as much to do with men as women. Men just don't understand subtle clues very well. Here is an example of a woman being subtle with her boyfriend: Woman: ::gives her boyfriend a JC Penney catalog:: "You know, my birthday is coming up..." Man: "Yeah, I ...

I hadn't been feeling well all week, but began recovering yesterday, fortunately. After debating whether or not to see a band perform with my parents, I opted to go - to get out of the house and see a fun band perform that I had only seen once previously. Things were going pretty well all night. The band was highly entertaining. The folks and I people-watched, especially the drunkards dancing, and as always, that was both an amusing and facepalm-inducing experience. For the band's last song, they played the Beastie Boys' classic, "You Gotta Fight For Your Right to Party!" Many women went up to the dance-floor to, well, dance. Most of the guys stood back and just observed. Toward the end of the song, some 45ish-year old woman then approached me and asked me to dance. First off, I'm not much of a dancer. Secondly, I still wasn't 100% healthy, so I felt like dancing like a sloth feels like sprinting. Thirdly, I have a girlfriend, so while it's not aga...

Oklahoma Republican Senator Jim Inhofe has long been a global-warming denier. If it gets chilly on a single day in January, he'll shout to the world, "You see? Global warming is a hoax!" In light of the tornado which recently swept through the state he represents and hearing some Democratic senators claiming that global warming could at least be partially to blame for a tornado of that magnitude, Inhofe, said this: "The liberal media is trying to exploit a tragedy to advance and expand its own agenda. And, believe me, the victims all know this. We were being hit by tornadoes long before anyone talked about climate change, and even before it was called 'global cooling,' before it became 'global warming,' and then 'climate change.'" Why is it that, after tragedies such as the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut or the before-mentioned tornado, it's such a no-no in many of these Congressional Republicans' minds to talk about them ...

There have been rumors and allegations that current Baltimore Ravens and future Hall-of-Fame linebacker Ray Lewis used deer-antler spray to heal more quickly from an injury. There have been mixed reports on whether or not the spray contains a substance which has been banned by the NFL.  I guess my question is this. Please keep in mind I'm not pro- nor anti-Baltimore Ravens (or Ray Lewis). Year in and year out around this time of year, the only things I really pull for with regard to the Super Bowl are great commercials and a great game. Okay, now, I completely understand why it should be illegal for players of any sport to use a list of banned substances which may give them an unfair advantage when they're actually playing. However, it doesn't make a great deal of sense to me for these substances to be illegal if these players are injured and simply trying to recover more quickly. I know people whom have been prescribed steroids, because the doctors believed it would qui...

I had every intention of watching both the Republican and Democratic National Conventions, Tuesday through Thursday, from 7 to 11 pm EST. I followed through with that last week for the RNC, but due to Time Warner Cable deciding to leave me without cable starting at almost exactly 7 pm last night (I know - conspiracy, right? Just kidding) until 3:30 in the morning, the only portion of the DNC I could watch was on ABC from 10 to 11, where I watched both San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro and First Lady Michelle Obama speak. Due to the limited time I was able to watch the convention last night, I won't be able to provide as thorough of an overview as I had the previous Tuesday through Thursday. If I have cable the next couple nights, though, I will certainly watch the DNC in its entirety as I had initially intended. Just based on what I did in fact see last night, I noticed both striking similarities and differences between the two conventions. As far as similarities go, both speakers ...

I've heard and read some people in recent days make the claim that Mitt Romney's tax returns are this years "birth certificate" (of Barack Obama). At first glance or listen, I kind of chuckled, but after thinking about it more, believe the comparison isn't great after all. The thing is, President Obama has released his birth certificate. This happened a long time ago, on multiple occasions in fact. Before he became a nominee for president, when was a candidate's birth certificate really questioned? On the other side of things, Mitt Romney has released unto the public quite the minimal amount of information regarding his tax returns and unlike the birth certificate, many times throughout history have candidates released their tax returns in full. Also, while some people were spreading conspiracy theories about President Obama being born in Kenya, he (and others) disproved these theories through solid evidence. Democratic Senator Harry Reid has made the claim ...