A convo with a MAGA Ohioan leading up to the election

Here's how I imagine a conversation with an Ohio MAGAt (or any MAGAt, really), leading up to the midterm elections.

Who are you voting for in the midterms?

MAGA: "Republicans, of course!"

Why?

MAGA: "So we don't turn into a communist whatever!"

Can you define 'communism' for me?

MAGA: "What, are you some kind of socialist?"

I'm just asking, since you brought it up yourself, what in fact is 'communism?'

MAGA: "It's what the commies do."

And what are 'commies?'

MAGA: "They're the ones in charge of communism."

Without saying 'commies,' what is 'communism?'

MAGA: "What the communists do."

Okay, I see I'm not getting very far with this. What other reasons do you have for voting Republican in the midterms?

MAGA: "Sex-changes"

Excuse me?

MAGA: "All these kids are going to school and getting sex-changes."

At school?

MAGA: "In school, out of school, everywhere. Just look around you."

I'm looking around, and am not seeing any child getting a sex change.

MAGA: "You ain't lookin' close enough, boy."

Did you know such procedures are illegal in the Buckeye State?

MAGA: "No they ain't! I just saw one the other day at a 9-11!"

Do you mean a 7-11?

MAGA: "No, 9-11. They's all over too. You been livin' under a cock or somethin'?"

I think you mean 'rock.'

MAGA: "Cock-rock, potato-tomato"

Okay, let me try to go a different direction with this. What has the Republican Party done, since Trump's second inauguration, to warrant you giving them your vote this November?

MAGA: "Inauga what now?"

Inauguration. When Trump was sworn in...

MAGA: "My president is a good, god-fearing, Christian man. He don't never fucking swear!"

Simmer down, Sparky. What has the Republican Party done in the past almost 2 years to warrant you giving them your vote in November?

MAGA: "They's creating jobs at rates we've never seen before in our history. ...and my name ain't Sparky; it's Sparky-Bob!"

Duly noted, but the economy is at its weakest point since COVID.

MAGA: "Well, prices are going down."

They've increased, especially gas prices. Diesel is at a record high.

MAGA: "There's no wars."

Gas prices have actually increased because of Trump's war with Iran.

MAGA: "But he didn't start it."

Yes, he did.

MAGA: "But he had a good reason"

Which was?

MAGA: "Because of them gas prices"

No, you've got the chronology reversed; gas prices increased AFTER Trump invaded Iran.

MAGA: "Boy, you use some big, fancy words. You thinks you're pretty smart, don't you?"

I thought Trump knew the best words.

MAGA: "Well, he does, don't he?"

Covfefe? Thighland? Hamburder?

MAGA: "Yep"

"Orange" instead of 'origin,' "nipple" instead of 'Nepal,' "button" instead of 'Bhutan?'

MAGA: "Okay, you can stop now"

"Melanie" instead of 'Melania,' "United Shtathes," 'Nambia?'

MAGA: "Does you ever shut up? He has the best words. I know it. Apparently, you know it. I don't need you to be a Webster Atlas or whatever."

So, what's the REAL reason you're voting Republican this November, the reason you're still MAGA?

MAGA: "Because Donald Trump is the best person, the most Jesus-like person ever, maybe even more so than Jesus himself."

He's admittedly committed adultery on all three of his wives.

MAGA: "Jesus?"

No, Trump

MAGA: "So?"

He's been convicted on 34 felony counts.

MAGA: "Your point?"

He's been found liable for: fraud twice, defamation twice, and rape once.

MAGA: "We're still talking about Trump, right, not Jesus?"

Have you ever read the Bible?

MAGA: "I've heard about it. I read the front cover once."

Seriously?

MAGA: "Actually, no, my daughter read the front cover to me once."

Any other comments?

MAGA: "All them illegals need to be executed."

What would Jesus do?

MAGA: "Throw burritos made of stone at them."

Let one without sin cast the first stone.

MAGA: "What? Are you getting smart again with them fancy phrases?

Jesus...

MAGA: "Hey, don't you be saying the lord's name in vain!"

No, he was the author of what I said.

MAGA: "The author of what?"

That scripture

MAGA: "What scripture?"

For fuck's sake!

MAGA: "There ain't no scripture by that name."

John 8:7

MAGA: "Is that in the Bible?"

Yes

MAGA: "On the front cover?"

MAGA: "I haven't had that part read to me then."

Obviously. Isn't it time to take your communion?

MAGA: "Communist what now?"

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

A closer look at the Scramble With Friends power-ups

I am unashamed to admit that I'm a nerd. My idea of a good time is playing a word game like Boggle or Scrabble. Thankfully, I (and many others) can play such games via Facebook and/or my (our) cell phone(s). While it seems that cheating has become more commonplace in these games (Words With Friends in particular) than San Diego has had nice weather, I've yet to give in to that craze. One element present with the game Scramble With Friends (Boggle) not present in Words With Friends (Scrabble) are legal boosts called "power-ups," which cost a number of tokens from the 15 available. I've now tried all five power-ups, including the latest one which costs money. So, in case anyone's curious about playing the game or giving these power-ups a gander, here's a rundown of them all: Freeze - I think this is probably my favorite of all the power-ups. With the freeze, time stands still for a matter of seconds, which allows you more time to find words and improve...

Film Critic Steve Rhodes Has Some Issues

Normally, I don't "bash" movie critics, because what's the point? We all have different tastes in film, so who am I to say that their tastes are wrong? But, I just bumped into a critic online the other day, and I really have to wonder about him. There is not much consistency with what he likes and doesn't like. Check that, he dislikes anything with George Clooney, he either strongly likes or dislikes films dealing with politics, and he typically enjoys Arnold Schwarzenegger films. Keep in mind that this is a major film critic. This is not a guy like me who writes blog reviews after I view a film at the theaters. Also keep in mind that I'm very open-minded when it comes to films. I enjoy: comedies, dramas, science-fiction, action, suspense/mystery, horror, romantic comedies, romance, foreign, independent, satires, amongst others. It takes a lot for me to sit down, watch a film, and dislike it. There are only a few films where after the credits start rolling, I...

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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