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When to give unwanted advice to a complete stranger...

As long-time readers know, for whatever reason, strange occurrences seem to follow me wherever I go, especially when I venture to a bar. The same was true last night. Not 30 minutes after I sat down, I was asked by a semi-acquaintance, "Why do so many people think you're gay?" To this, I calmly relayed all the theories I've heard from others regarding the matter: "Because you're always respectful toward women," "You've turned many women's propositions down," "You're 36, not married, and without any kids," "No guy so nice, funny, smart, and cute could be single and straight," "You're a liberal who likes poetry and foreign films," etc. She then responded, "No offense, but if you were gay, I'd think you'd have better fashion sense. I even asked someone a while ago if they thought you'd be at all bothered if I took you jeans shopping." I provided a perplexed look in return, c...