The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL season In Week 2 of the NFL season, I learned that... - ...it'll soon be easier to find Jimmy Hoffa than a healthy starting quarterback in the NFC. - ..., if you're Aaron Rodgers, 42 is not the new 38. - ...the only chance the Browns have of making the postseason is if they're placed under a weather-delay from now until January.  - ..., if you think you can or think you can't, you're probably right, unless you're the Titans or Jets - then odds are you probably can't. - ...Jim Harbaugh's team appears less Charged than a comatose sloth, nicknamed Prozac. - ...Jayden Daniels and Jaxson Dart once arm-wrestled; both were carried off on stretchers with ruptured Achilles'. - ..., as the Atlanta Falcons have proved, the 4th quarterback isn't the charm. - ...those most susceptible to heart attacks are: the old, the fat, and the 2026-2027 New Orleans Saints fans. - ...the Lions secondary has more holes in it than a spong...

MAGA: "Vote for our kids' futures!" So, how should we vote? MAGA: "Republicans!" Who's the face of the Republican Party? MAGA: "Donald Trump, the greatest president and human in world galaxy history!" Oh, you mean the guy who has allegedly raped kids? MAGA: "Yeah, wait no, what?" So, voting for our kids' futures is voting for the party of a man who allegedly raped kids?  MAGA: "Well, yeah!"

August 17, 2024 Trump: “Energy is going to bring us back. That means we’re going down and getting gasoline below $2 a gallon, bring down the price of everything from electricity rates to groceries, airfares, and housing costs.” https://doggett.house.gov/issues/trumps-economic-promises-timeline November 6, 2024 Trump: "We had no wars. They said, he will start a war. I'm not going to start a war. I'm going to stop wars." https://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/news/npr/nx-s1-5732601/trump-promised-the-maga-base-no-new-wars-then-he-went-to-war-with-iran February 28, 2026 Trump starts war with Iran. https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2026/05/politics/iran-war-key-moments-vis/ Gas prices Regular 1/20/2025: $3.11 9/16/2026: $4.37 Diesel 1/20/2025: $3.72 9/16/2026: $6.30 Donald Trump promised no new wars and lower gas prices, so he, of course, started a new war, which ended up raising gas prices. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/GASREGW

What I learned in Week 1 of the NFL season In Week 1 of the NFL season, I learned that... - ...there are three guarantees in life: 1) Death, 2) Taxes, and 3) The Cleveland Browns smelling, looking, and playing like sh*t. - ..., when it comes to losing fumbles, a Baker's (Mayfield) dozen means something entirely different.  - ...nobody will remember these Titans. - ..., if the Rams ever play a game on the moon, they'll fly out of Los Angeles a half-hour before game-time.  - ...Aaron Rodgers may be fully immunized from losing to 3rd-string quarterbacks that rhyme with 'Blooper Crush.' - ...the Cowboys defense is softer than a roll of toilet paper Trump tosses from the America Ocean. - ..., if they were presented in a line-up of 2nd-half performances, witnesses wouldn't be able to differentiate between the Detroit Lions and the Ohio State Buckeyes. - ...the LA Chargers' spirit animal is the three-toed sloth. - ...Ben Johnson can officially be nicknamed the End Zone...