The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I just received this comment on my poem, Long-Distance , from the book, Penetrating the Heart of Life: Ambiguous in Thought, Ambivalent in Feeling : - "Damn... That's beautiful work right there. Simple, but so accurate... F*ck, that hits home. As per usual, you're amazing with words!!!" The poem can be read here. - https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/2011/07/long-distance-another-poem-of-mine.html The book from which it came can be found here. - https://www.amazon.com/Penetrating-Heart-Life-Ambiguous-Ambivalent-ebook/dp/B00B1F0LIY/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=craig+rozniecki&qid=1612997714&sr=8-6

As long-time readers would know, I've had a long-time love/hate relationship with social media, Facebook in particular. While I absolutely love being able to keep in regular touch with friends and family on the site, there are definitely some times where I want nothing to do with it. Mother's Day is one of the days where I try to stray as far away from Facebook as possible. Is it just me or does it seem like, on Mother's Day, most of the Facebook world is attempting to suggest they're the best kid in the world? - "Look what I did for my mom? I put on these gloves and make it look like I'm going to do some yard-work, but really, I'm about to lift some dumbbells while watching America's Most Wanted . I'm the best kid in the world!" - "I put forth the hard work to take a picture of this great meal my mom cooked, but will refrain from giving her credit, in order to make others think I was the one who did it. So I'm the best kid!" ...

I hate a love-hate relationship when it comes to the Internet and the social media. While I love the idea of being connected with the rest of the world, keeping in regular contact with friends both new and old, and being able to share and promote my written work, I also don't like how online interaction is taking the place of face-to-face interaction, how many seem to value sharing the appearance of a great experience over simply enjoying it, and how many seem to be becoming more narcissistic with these growing online trends. I may start sounding like an old fart in this post and perhaps slightly hypocritical, given the fact I have this blog, a Facebook page, as well as Twitter and Tumblr accounts. However, in my defense, I am a writer, so that's what I use this blog for, as well as my Twitter and Tumblr accounts - to write, share my work, and market it. I just use my Facebook page to keep in touch with friends and family - new and old, near and far. First off, it seems as ...

Even though Barack Obama got elected to two terms as president, largely due to him being a great orator, he and his administration, and even Democrats in general, have had a huge problem in effectively communicating their message to potential voters. It's sad to say, but it seems as if Obama, his administration, and many other Democrats just don't know how to effectively play the media game and regularly win that battle against Republicans. As filled with BS and hyperbole as many such Republicans' rhetoric is on different media outlets, it's often times effective with voters. This trend started quite early in Obama's first term. Remember when Republicans were having frequent town hall meetings to criticize the Affordable Care Act, spread myths about it, and infiltrate fear about the bill in people's minds? Yes, most of the rhetoric was hogwash, but President Obama and company didn't seem to take the nonsense seriously, would take a while to respond, befo...

I was sent the following link, which I found to be interesting (said link can be found at the end of this post). It delves into the differences in communication styles between men and women, and judging from my own experiences and observations, it seems to be largely accurate. Quite possibly the biggest problem when heterosexual couples communicate with one another isn't the communication itself, it's not understanding the other's communication style. Ladies, when men don't give you direct eye contact when you're talking, this doesn't mean he's not listening. In fact, it could be a good indicator that he is listening. Let's face it, guys are easily distracted and when talking to a woman we find to be beautiful, if we look at her for too long, our minds will start to wander, before we wonder, "Wait... What was she talking about?" If we're looking away and appear to be focused, chances are we're listening. That is, unless our focus ap...

Sometimes I wonder if I was born in the wrong year or perhaps born on the wrong planet. Selfies, duck-faces, planking, fake mustaches, and other such trends, I just can't get into. Now, if an actual duck took a selfie of himself with a fake mustache on while planking, then I might be interested in seeing that picture. Reality television doesn't tickle my fancy. Neither does cable news or a good portion of talk radio. Yes, perhaps I'm a bit old school. Speaking of which, I didn't own a smart phone (I believe it has average intelligence most days, but that's just me) until two or three years ago. Even now, I only use the thing to call friends, answer calls, perhaps check email if I'm out and about, or play a word game or two. That's right - I don't text. I know what you're thinking... "What in the hell is wrong with that guy? Get with the times, slick!" Eh, no thanks... I honestly haven't been a fan of texting since its inception. For m...

I'm not sure what the deal is exactly, but I can't tell you how many articles I've read or rants I've heard lately regarding the "nice guy." These rants typically include the following statements: - "'Nice guys' aren't really that nice!" - "What's the big deal about nice guys being nice? Isn't everyone nice? They're just doing things all guys do, but not all guys talk about it like they do!" - "These 'nice guys' are simply sexists looking for an excuse to blame women for their problems!" - "Look, nice guys - she's not into you because you're a loser, because you're ugly, and because, did I mention you're a loser? It's not because you're nice, so get over it!" Yes, it appears as if a fairly decent sized segment of the population is anti-"nice guy." They feel these "nice guys" are either fake, weak, or a bit of both. So, what's the ...

While I'm by no means a fan of confrontation, especially in relationships (dating, friendships, or otherwise), it is essential at times to either check the status of a relationship or to move it forward in one manner or another. However, I've noticed two common problems with these confrontations: 1) Some people refuse to engage in such discussions, and 2) When confronted on an issue, many refuse to completely own up to their mistakes. While I understand the mindset of those in group 1, as I've come to learn, the longer people ignore problems in a relationship, the more likely it is that said problems will come back to bite them somewhere down the line. As the saying goes, the first step to solving a problem is admitting one exists. If one doesn't admit this problem, how will he or she know one is present, and how will they then tackle and defeat said problem? It would be strange to hear someone say they enjoy confrontation, but whether or not we enjoy it, it's nec...

Just recently, I got into a conversation regarding pornography. I've personally never been into the genre, so I've never held a strong opinion on it one way or the other. Based on the discussion I had, however, I began doing some research on the matter, because there appears to be wildly differing opinions on whether or not viewing pornography constitutes as cheating when a person is involved in a serious relationship. Also, there often times appears to be an assumption by some women that "all" men regularly watch pornography, so it simply has to be accepted by whomever they're with. Through this research, I found that the consensus amongst professionals (shrinks and the like) was that while viewing pornography in isolation doesn't necessarily constitute as cheating, it can definitely be construed as cheating when other factors are taken into account. Amongst commentators of these articles, it appears as if a solid majority of them don't feel pornography...

When we make plans with people, does our interpretation of language with regard to time alter based on what part of the country we reside? Just yesterday, I, who am originally from Nebraska, was making tentative plans with someone, who has always lived in Ohio. She's back in school, has already reached the burnt-out stage, and said, "The Saturday after Thanksgiving (when finals are over), we're going out and getting plastered!" I laughed, and said, "Sure, sure. That sounds like fun," before thinking about what she just said and realizing I'll have family in town Thanksgiving weekend (Wednesday through Sunday), so I had to ask, "Wait, which Saturday is this? You said the Saturday after Thanksgiving, right? If it's THAT Saturday, I'll have family in town, so it might need to be the following weekend, if that's okay..." She chuckled and said, "Oh, that's right - you're a Nebraskan. I'm not talking about the ...

So, I saw a Facebook post today which aired a video clip of a guy reading a poem he had written about always being cast as the "nice guy" or in the "friend-zone" among the women he had been interested in either romantically or sexually. The guy said that if a man (a "nice guy" apparently) purchased a woman a gift in hopes that she would sleep with him in return, she didn't owe him anything. While I agree a woman never owes a guy sex, this video sparked a more elaborate debate on the whole "nice guy" concept and who exactly would be at fault if such a guy gets taken advantage of in any way. Here's what I had to say on the matter: "The only thing women owe 'nice guys' is honesty. If he shows romantic interest in her or perhaps buys her something to indicate this, it's on her to be upfront with him and say, 'This was really sweet, but just so you know, I only see you as a friend.'  If she says this and he co...

Men and women do tend to be from completely different planets. One major difference is how we tend to approach communication. Men tend to be blatant, while women tend to be subtle. This isn't always the case, of course, but more times than not, the two genders seem to fit those very labels. This gets both genders into trouble at times. Men can be so blatant at times that they come across as overly aggressive and turn women off because of it. Women, on the other hand, can be so subtle, that there's no chance any man (gay or straight) could understand what she's trying to get across. While I don't think men should be quite so blatant at times, I'd love for women to be less subtle. This has just as much to do with men as women. Men just don't understand subtle clues very well. Here is an example of a woman being subtle with her boyfriend: Woman: ::gives her boyfriend a JC Penney catalog:: "You know, my birthday is coming up..." Man: "Yeah, I ...

So, I had an interesting discussion with a female friend of mine yesterday - with the topic being drama and jealousy. She and I had a disagreement on, generally-speaking, who was the more dramatic gender. While I stated that I felt on average, women were more dramatic than men, she disagreed and felt the opposite. Of course, I was just speaking in general terms and then she specified her position, by saying on the "jealousy-drama" front, guys were far worse than girls. I then told her that on that particular front, she may be right, but I think it's pretty close and I think it's difficult to scale that specific kind of drama, because the two genders often times exhibit jealousy in different ways - with the males being more blunt and obvious about it. However, a friend of mine in Omaha almost refuses to be friends with girls, that or she winds up losing those friendships when it all comes down to it, because there's too much drama. She's told me she really pref...

I witnessed a woman breaking up with her boyfriend via text last night. I imagine this is becoming more and more common. I have been on the receiving end of that via e-mail before (and telephone). While I think it's bad enough to break up with somebody over the telephone, I think it's ten times worse to do this over an e-mail or a text when the person's not allowed to hear the other's voice, respond right away, etc. I just think it's weak. It's the easy way out. It makes it so the aggressor in the break-up doesn't have to face the other, doesn't have to look him/her in the eyes, and actually tell them to their face that things are over. They don't even have to hear the other's voice. I just think it's weak, disrespectful and immature. I think if a person truly cared for another, at least at one point, they'd have the strength and respect to actually sit down and talk to them about it, as opposed to leaving a message and walking away as if...

So, I had an interesting back-and-forth the other day via e-mail. This lady, whom had just started e-mailing me, exchanged some dating stories with one another. After I told her about my recent bad luck when it comes to dating/love, she responded by saying something along the lines of, "It's one thing to be a nice guy (not a jerk) and another to not try to understand the communication of women. There's a book I think you should read. It'll help a lot more than you'd think. You've probably heard of it. It's called, 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus'. It sounds like you have quite a bit to learn." No, this woman didn't know me well at all (for about two days), but still... For anyone who genuinely knows me could state, if anything, I try to understand women's communication too much. ...and come on? That book? The thing I don't like about such books is they generalize/stereotype the two sexes. While there may be some trends as...

Emotion Abbreviated No tone in your voice, No words to be heard, No emotions to be felt, No gestures to be observed, Attention fleeting, Time condensed, Easily distracted, Seemingly entranced, You scan and stare, Unable to look away, Hypnotized by the light, Addicted to the immediacy, When I call your name, You irritatingly look up, With a deer-in-the-headlights stare, Robotic in your emotions, Not knowing how to act, Clueless on what to say, Feeling extreme discomfort, Wanting me to walk away, Hypnotized by the screen, Abbreviated and constant, Unable to speak to me in person, Like the device you hold - emotionless.

As you could probably guess, this can be found in my book, "Seasons Come, People Grow: A Poetic Journey" (pages 63-64). I give you a call, Expecting nothing, The phone rings constantly, No one answering, Only time I hear your voice is on the machine, I contemplate leaving a message, Pessimistic of getting a call back, Frustrated of the inequitous effort, I dial your number, A busy signal comes up, Discovering that you were certainly home, Just had no need nor desire to talk, No matter how many times I call, There is no getting through, You seem so distant and far away, Even though I lay right beside you.

Tired of having to abbreviate fifteen consecutive words to a friend through a text message? Tired of contemplating the possibility of typing up to 140 characters on a single tweet in your Twitter account? Contemplate no more! Introducing Twexter - The device that puts both Twitter and texting to shame with how quick and easy it is to use! It's so quick and easy, it has been mistaken for Jason Biggs' character in "American Pie"! Either on your cell phone or computer, simply go to Twexter.com, set up a free account and be on your way to something special! Twexter only accepts abbreviations and affords a member a maximum of six characters per twext. It's time to stop expressing those genuine thoughts and feelings through a long series of abbreviations and grammatically-incorrect sentences so condensed, cavemen refer to them as "Gump Haikus"! Why go through all of that effort? Why spend one minute on a message to a loved one when you can spend a mere 3 se...

Tired of having to abbreviate fifteen consecutive words to a friend through a text message? Tired of contemplating the possibility of typing up to 140 characters on a single tweet in your Twitter account? Contemplate no more! Introducing Twexter - The device that puts both Twitter and texting to shame with how quick and easy it is to use! It's so quick and easy, it has been mistaken for Jason Biggs' character in "American Pie"! Either on your cell phone or computer, simply go to Twexter.com, set up a free account and be on your way to something special! Twexter only accepts abbreviations and affords a member a maximum of six characters per twext. It's time to stop expressing those genuine thoughts and feelings through a long series of abbreviations and grammatically-incorrect sentences so condensed, cavemen refer to them as "Gump Haikus"! Why go through all of that effort? Why spend one minute on a message to a loved one when you can spend a mere 3 secon...

I've always been a firm believer that communication (along with trust) is perhaps the most important factor in any relationship, especially between spouses. As I've aged (an elderly 30, I know), however, I've noticed a trend of de-emphasizing communication and its significance. I can only imagine what the next wave will be in this very trend. We started with face-to-face interaction, before expanding our communicative options with the introduction of the telephone. Years later, Al Gore founded the internet(s) and through the keyboard, a computer screen and Mr. Gore's magic, we were able to contact one another through e-mail. Not too terribly long ago, through our cell phones, we became able to type quick notes to other people with text messages. It seems like just yesterday Twitter became the new smash hit, as people could type up to 140 golden characters of random information and express it to friends, family, the world or to simply amuse themselves. So, what's n...