The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

BREAKING NEWS: I've just gotten a hold of the Trump Bible! Since he's never read a word of the actual Bible, it's no surprise to see these are books listed in his version of it: Bold Testament - Genocide - Exes Suck - Cussing Levites - I Know Numbers; I Have the Best Numbers, Believe Me - Dude, You’re Hot on Me - Joshua Tree - Fake, No Good, Corrupt Judges, Who Are Only Out to Get Me - Baby Ruth - One Samuel Adams - Make That Two Samuel Adams - One Kings - Two King - One Criminals - Two Criminal - Not Better Than Ezra, Believe Me - Nehemiah Was a Bullfrog - Tobit or Not Tobit - Hey Judith - The Esther Bunny - One Mack Daddies - Two Mack Daddy - Between Jobs - Psalm Trees - Proverbs: I/Me/My/Mine - Eh, That Shit’s Nasty - Banned to Play Any Song or Songs at My Rallies - Wisdumb - Honey Siracha - Isaiah the Best Words - Jeremiah Wrong - Lame Plantations - Baruch, Baruch, Baruch Is on Fire - Ezekial? Never Knew Him - Coffee-Boy Daniel - Hosee? See Ho - The First Joel - Amos ...

Money has always fascinated me. Think about it. This piece of paper with pictures and numbers on it tends to dictate our lives. We've all agreed on this. It's what provides us opportunities, what we work for, what gets us things, what we, more or less, live for. Just imagine if we provided the caveman like the one from Encino Man a large wad of money; how would he react? A look of confusion? A shrug of the shoulders? Those possibilities are far more likely than jumping for joy and making it rain, as the saying goes. We drive/ride in vehicles to get us from point A to point B. We cook food and drink water to survive. We work to support ourselves, our families, and make a difference in the world. We travel, drink, partake in hobbies to relax. What do all of these entities revolve around? A piece of paper. Whenever thinking about the concept of money, I tend to also think about the afterlife. Is there such a thing? If so, will those who made and worshipped money likely be punish...

What has it been with the crazy comments I've been receiving on my blog entries recently? It's as if several far right-wing organizations passed memos around, saying, "So, like, do you know that crazy progressive Craig dude? I guess he's been in and out of the hospital lately, so now's the time to fill his blog with right-wing propaganda! Let's do this!" The most recent such comment was in response to my December 7th post, entitled, "Another false equivalence Facebook meme," which can be read in its entirety here - http://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/2015/12/another-false-equivalence-facebook-meme.html. The blog revolved around this Facebook meme, which began circulating the Internet shortly after the San Bernardino mass shooting: "if the shooting by a window licking retard with a bowl haircut in south carolina is cause for banning the confederate battle flag, removing statues of confederate soldiers and erasing southern histor...

Maybe it's all but inevitable for us to have prejudices of some kind; I couldn't be 100% certain. Then again, whenever I hear such a statement being made, I immediately think, "I wonder if he/she is trying to provide themselves an excuse for their own prejudices." But overall, even if everyone possesses some form of prejudice, I'd say a decent majority is able to typically cover such irrational, derogatory beliefs when in a public setting. That's not always the case, of course, and following tragic isolated incidents, it seems many believe this provides reason to their prejudices and leaves them more prone to making those hateful beliefs come to light. As fed up as I am hearing about mass shootings in this country, a pair of them over the past couple of weeks has helped expose this country's prejudices and double-standards. When a Christian man attacked a Planned Parenthood facility in Colorado Springs, Colorado, killing multiple people in the process, ...

When it comes to religion, I don't pretend to have all the answers. However, regardless if the answers are impossible to fully deduce while alive on this earth, I find it fascinating to ponder about such matters, because I'm a creative nerd whose mind likes to constantly be in overdrive. I grew up in a Christian household, have studied multiple religions throughout my life out of pure curiosity, and would today label myself as a humanist and/or an agnostic. While I believe many of these sacred texts provide interesting story material, which can help teach us many of life's important lessons, I'm hard-pressed to take them all literally, and have reached a point where I feel that, while I can't fully disprove the presence of a higher power, I can't fully prove it either. Due to this, I simply try to stand by the Golden Rule, acknowledge my mistakes and flaws, and continually try to improve upon them to better myself as a person, regardless of the potential reward ...

I haven't handed out a douche-of-the-week award in a while, but upon reading an article today, I think it's about time I hand out another, two of them as a matter of fact. In an op-ed for the Canberra City News , Australian Christian Nick Jensen wrote the following: "[My wife Sarah and I would] as a matter of conscience, refuse to recognize the government's regulation of marriage if its definition includes the solemnization of same sex couples. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman before a community in the sight of God. And the marriage of any couple is important to God regardless of whether that couple recognizes God's involvement or authority in it. ...For us, fundamentally, when we got married we signed a contract with the state and that contract was around the current definition of marriage and all the things that comes with it. Man and woman for life, for the sake of children. If it came to be that the definition of the contract was changed, the cont...

Allow me to introduce everyone to Greg Gianforte. He's a multi-millionaire tech entrepreneur who may very well challenge Montana Governor Steve Bullock (Democrat) in the 2016 election. So, what's the early talk surrounding this potential Republican gubernatorial candidate? Oh, just the following quote he gave at the Montana Bible College in February: "There's nothing in the Bible that talks about retirement. And yet it's been an accepted concept in our culture today. Nowhere does it say, 'Well, he was a good and faithful servant, so he went to the beach.' It doesn't say that anywhere. The example I think is Noah. How old was Noah when he built the ark? 600. He wasn't like, cashing Social Security checks, he wasn't hanging out, he was working. So, I think we have an obligation to work. The role we have in work may change over time, but the concept of retirement is not biblical." Given that quote, Mr. Gianforte is bound to be loved by p...

Whenever someone says that the United States was founded on Christian values, I have to wonder if they've ever read the Bible (or the Constitution for that matter). In the Bible, there's this thing called the Ten Commandments. These Commandments include things like: Don't sleep with others' wives, don't worship other people or things, don't kill people, oh yeah, and don't steal. Die-hard Christian conservative: "This country was founded on Christian values!" Me: "How was it founded again?" Die-hard Christian conservative: "By stealing it from the Indians!" Me: "What about that 'Thou shalt not steal' bit in the Bible?" Die-hard Christian conservative: "Yeah, so? What's your point?" Me: "So, this country was founded on Christian values, yet it was founded by going against one of the Bible's Ten Commandments by stealing it from other people; is that correct?" Die-hard Chri...

In a move that shocked conservatives all across the country, after attending a Bible reading which was made mandatory through legislation backed by the Republican majority in both the House and the Senate, the Republican Party has decided to renounce Jesus. Realizing the inevitable backlash from supporters that the party was going to receive, the Republican National Committee mailed a letter to every registered voter, which said this: "Dear patriot, As sad as we are to say this as Republicans, we can no longer call ourselves the party of God, faith, or religion. After attending a Bible reading, we realized Jesus' teachings and beliefs aren't in line with our own and have decided to renounce him. We just ask that you still trust us, give us money, vote for us, and regardless of how our actions may showcase otherwise, believe us when we declare to the world that we're Christians. God bless you all and God bless you the United States of America. Sincerely, RNC...

Of course, like everyone else with a semi-functioning heart and conscience, I'm always saddened by tragedies of any kind. This, of course, includes acts of terror. However, whenever a terrorist act is committed by Muslims, I'm also troubled by many people's insistence that all Muslims worldwide denounce these awful acts. There's a growing chorus among these people, which includes a solid majority of conservatives, but also a growing number of moderates and liberals as well. My questions are, why is this necessary, and why does this seem to only surround people of the Islam faith?  If some Muslims with a public voice want to go on the record and say, "For the record, these people's acts were cowardly, not at all representative of the teachings of Islam, and I (or we) fully denounce these individuals and their actions," then that's fine. But why do a growing number of people deem it as necessary? Just because an extremely small percentage of a certain...

Remember when Duck Dynasty 's Phil Robertson was interviewed by GQ magazine and how well that went? Well, the man with fewer brain cells than a drunken pirate has fingers has decided to go "gay" over gays yet again when he recently spoke on the radio with Family Research Council's Tony Perkins about the subject. In this very discussion, Robertson let his wisdom be known with the following quotes: - "Do you think it's a coincidence that all of these debilitating - literally that can cause death - diseases follow that kind of conduct?" - "God says, 'One woman, one man,' and everyone says, 'Oh, that's old hat, that's that old Bible stuff. But I'm thinking, well let's see now. A clean guy - a disease-free guy and a disease-free woman - they marry and they keep their sex between the two of them. They're not going to get chlamydia, and gonorrhea, and syphilis, and AIDS. It's safe." - "Either it's the...

The GOP’s new Ten Commandments (on pages 72-74 in LOL at the GOP: Volume 4 - Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses ... #'s in parentheses indicate footnotes) With the Republican Party, led by Tea Partiers, getting more and more extreme and seeming to be increasingly clueless on the messages of the Bible, yet pulling scriptures out of their backsides anyway, I think it's about time the party comes up with a new list of Commandments which better suits their beliefs and agenda. The actual Ten Commandments are as follows: 1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." 2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image." 3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." 4. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy." 5. "Honour thy father and thy mother." 6. "Thou shalt not kill." 7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery." 8. "Thou shalt not steal." 9. "Thou shalt not bea...

Former U.S. Lieutenant General William G. "Jerry" Boykin recently gave an interesting speech on behalf of the Family Research Council at the WallBuilders' Pro-Family Legislators Conference, where he said the following: "The Lord is a warrior and in Revelation 19 it says when he comes back, he's coming back as what? A warrior. A might warrior leading a slight army, riding a white horse with a blood-stained white robe ... I believe that blood on that robe is the blood of his enemies 'cause he's coming back as a warrior carrying a sword. And I believe now - I've checked this out - I believe that sword he'll be carrying when he comes back is an AR-15. Now I want you to think about this: where did the Second Amendment come from? ... From the Founding Fathers, it's in the Constitution. Well, yeah, I know that. But where did the whole concept come from? It came from Jesus when he said to his disciples 'now, if you don't have a sword, se...

A fitting headline for this next story I'm about to share should say it all - " Snake Salvation Star and Preacher Dies From a Snakebite". During a February 15th service in Middlesboro, Kentucky, preacher Jamie Coots was bitten by a snake on his right hand. Instead of waiting for emergency personnel to arrive at the church and treat him, Coots decided to deny medical attention and go home instead, where he eventually died. Ironically enough, Coots and his family were featured on the National Geographic reality show, Snake Salvation . The show focused on believers of a particular Bible passage, which co-star Andrew Hamblin explained to Buzzfeed  not long ago: "When you feel the anointing and God moves on you to take up serpents, even if one of 'em lays fangs into you, you shall not be harmed." When Buzzfeed approached Jamie Coots after his death, to ask him if his beliefs had changed with regard to that Bible passage, he was unavailable for comment. ...

Republican Idaho Representative Lynn Luker, with the support of his conservative Christian allies, is attempting to make it illegal for licensed professionals to lose their license for refusing to serve or employ anyone whom they feel violates their religious beliefs. Such professionals would include all of the following: Doctors, nurses, pharmacists, police officers, firefighters, real estate agents, insurance providers, attorneys, and social workers. Representative Luker and his "Christian" allies mainly want this proposal to be passed due to the ever-increasing rights of the LGBT community. One of these "Christian" allies is the Cornerstone Family Council, who said the government shouldn't "block people from 'living out their faith'." Another such ally is Focus on the Family. Julie Lynde - executive director of the group - said this with regard to the proposal: "The free expression of religious freedom is no longer understood for wh...

Remember how, after the 2012 elections, the Republican Party talked about re-branding themselves of being more tolerant? Of trying to attract more voters, such as women and minorities? How's that going? Some words of advice for the GOP - it doesn't help to just say you're going to re-brand if you don't actually follow through with it. It's not going to help a marriage if an alcoholic husband says he's going to clean up his act, all the while he's doing shots of vodka. Since the GOP started their re-branding efforts, they've continued to attract women voters by attempting to: Take away their reproductive rights, take away their contraceptive rights, make it more difficult to vote, and fight against equal pay for equal work. Yes, they're that smooth. New Mexico Representative Steve Pearce recently continued this lovely trend for his party. In Pearce's new memoir, he wrote the following: "The husband's part is to show up during the ti...

Jonathon Moseley - member of the Northern Virginia Tea Party and co-host on the radio show Conservative Commandos - just released an interesting article courtesy of the right-wing conspiracy site WND.com , entitled, "Jesus Christ is a Capitalist." No, that's not a typo. Moseley decided it was time to stand up to Pope Francis' harsh words for capitalism with his own: - "In just one verse, we see that God rejects the left-wing 'Jesus Chris supported socialism' heresy. When Jesus was asked to support redistribution of wealth - to tell one brother to share the family inheritance with the other - Jesus refused. Jesus would never support government or a church stealing property by force to give it to a stranger. He would not even intervene for one man to share his own family's wealth with his own brother." - "One truth shines out from the Bible. Jesus spoke to the individual, never to government or government policy. Jesus was a capitalist, ...

I often times wonder what Bible far-right Republicans, especially Tea Partiers, are reading. Many claim to be devout Christians - worshipers of Christ. However, when hearing them speak and seeing what actions they've taken while in office, these words and actions don't really jive with the central character in the Bible and the man they supposedly worship - Jesus. From speaking out against homosexuals to trying to provide the rich benefits while taking away from the poor to treating guns like gods to going to war with smiles on their faces, it puzzles me to no end how these very people can adamantly declare that they are followers of Christ. Whatever Bible they've read, this appears to be how it came across to them: Setting: On a bench in downtown San Francisco, since the Jewish Jesus was apparently born in the United States Peter: "Can you believe those guys?" Paul: "I know - can't they at least wait until they get home to do that crap?" Jes...

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul has had a bit of a rough week. On not one, but two separate occasions this past week, the Senator has faced plagiarism allegations. In light of this, Senator Paul may have to try and improve his image by releasing a rather personal ad (no, not for dating). It will probably go a little something like this: "Hello. I'm Randal Howard 'Rand' Paul, was born on January 7th of 1963, and am the junior United States Senator for Kentucky. I'm a member of the Republican Party, am the son of former U.S. Representative and presidential candidate Ron Paul of Texas. I first received national attention in 2008 when making political speeches on behalf of my father, who was campaigning for the Republican Party's nomination for president. I am the first senator to have served simultaneously with a parent in the United States House of Representatives. Recently, I've been accused of plagiarism, which is an act or instance of using or closely imita...

With the Republican Party, led by Tea Partiers, getting more and more extreme and seeming to be increasingly clueless on the messages of the Bible, yet pulling scriptures out of their backsides anyway, I think it's about time the party comes up with a new list of Commandments which better suits their beliefs and agenda. The actual Ten Commandments are as follows: 1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." 2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image." 3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." 4. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy." 5. "Honour thy father and thy mother." 6. "Thou shalt not kill." 7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery." 8. "Thou shalt not steal." 9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour." 10. "Thou shalt not covet." Now here is the updated GOP-version of the Ten Command...