The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

According to recent reports, it appears as if TGI Friday's will be experimenting with the concept of mistletoe drones and a kiss cam this holiday season. Yes, in the UK and in parts of the US, some couples will be greeted by a mistletoe drone, and if they kiss, they'll be rewarded with a Friday's gift card. There will even be a kiss cam to showcase some of these very moments. No, I can't see anything going wrong here. The first word I thought of when hearing about this idea was "awkward." I have to imagine at least one of the following scenarios will take place at least once, at least in my mind: Scenario #1: Two friends, one of whom has a crush on the other Donna Naivete: "Hey, I'm hungry. Wanna go somewhere and grab a bite to eat?" Russell Gotchanow: "Yeah, that sounds great! I'm getting hungry too." :: mumbles :: "...for love..." Donna: "What was that?" Russell: "Oh, nothing" Donna: ...

Unlike many people, I actually enjoy reading about, discussing, and writing about politics. However, for as much as I enjoy talking about the hot-button political issues of the day, I know when not to bring up such matters. On the other hand, it sometimes feels as if many others don't possess that filter and no matter what the situation, they feel the need to get political. It doesn't matter if the discussion pertains to sports, music, movies, food, cars, or something else, there are people whom will find a way to transition from said topic to politics. While this typically results in the room suddenly getting very quiet due to the awkward transition from something pleasant to politics, it often times makes me chuckle in hindsight due to how much thought and how little effort was seemingly placed in the strange subject change. Some examples are as follows: Subject: Sports Buster Hunchback: "I can't believe those Chicago Cubs! When's the last time they won? Geez...

I live in an area which is kind of a hybrid of suburbia and the country. Most of the people in this neighborhood are older than me, married, and with fairly young kids. Cliques here appear to have been formed many years ago. When I came rolling into town about 5 years ago, while the people here seemed nice for the most part, I definitely felt like an outcast. What I'm probably most known for in this neighborhood is walking my Siberian husky multiple times every day. It's during these times when I'm at a loss of when to truly interact with some people. If someone is jogging or walking and wave, I know that, like me, he/she is probably in an exercise-type zone and a hello is just a hello. However, there have been other times when someone has waved during my walk and actually wanted to chat for a couple minutes. Then there have been a number of times when a person waves, asks, "How's it going?," without really meaning that. So, how is a person - especially a ne...

I hadn't been feeling well all week, but began recovering yesterday, fortunately. After debating whether or not to see a band perform with my parents, I opted to go - to get out of the house and see a fun band perform that I had only seen once previously. Things were going pretty well all night. The band was highly entertaining. The folks and I people-watched, especially the drunkards dancing, and as always, that was both an amusing and facepalm-inducing experience. For the band's last song, they played the Beastie Boys' classic, "You Gotta Fight For Your Right to Party!" Many women went up to the dance-floor to, well, dance. Most of the guys stood back and just observed. Toward the end of the song, some 45ish-year old woman then approached me and asked me to dance. First off, I'm not much of a dancer. Secondly, I still wasn't 100% healthy, so I felt like dancing like a sloth feels like sprinting. Thirdly, I have a girlfriend, so while it's not aga...

CNN's Wolf Blitzer got caught in an awkward moment just following the devastating tornado which ravaged through Moore, Oklahoma. When speaking to a survivor of the storm - Rebecca Vitsmun - Blitzer said, "We're happy you're here. You guys did a great job. You've gotta thank the Lord, right? Do you thank the Lord for that split-second decision?" Vitsmun responded with, "I -- I'm actually an atheist." Blitzer came back with, "You are. All right. But you made the right call." Yes, Wolf, she thanked the Lord for a tornado which came close to killing she and her child, destroyed many homes in the area, and killed who knows how many people. Thank God for that...  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/21/wolf-blitzer-atheist-tornado-survivor_n_3316312.html

Prior to the first Sweet 16 college basketball game last night between Miami (Florida) and Marquette, the likes of Greg Gumbel, Greg Anthony, Doug Gottlieb, Kenny Smith, and Charles Barkley previewed the games in the studio. After Gumbel introduced the crew, Gottlieb, the only Caucasian gentleman of the group, chimed in with the following line: "Cream rising to the crop. I don't know why you guys asked me, I'm just here to bring diversity to the set here. Give the kind of white man's perspective on things from the point guard position." Yes, there was complete and total silence following the sad attempt of a joke, along with the two men to his left and two to his right shaking their heads simultaneously. Perhaps the worst part about the joke wasn't what Gottlieb said, so much as how he said it. The guy looked less comfortable than a mime doing karaoke. What was going on in that guy's mind before and during the telling of the "joke" is anyon...

I didn't know whether to shake my head in disgust or cringe and feel sorry for Marco Rubio last night when giving the State of the Union rebuttal. Granted, it is quite the difficult and awkward task for a person to follow the president's State of the Union speech. Since there's less time to give the speech, details tend to be substituted with generalities, slogans, and talking points. There isn't a great deal of time to go through one's notes regarding the speech, so this too can limit the number of specific details one can present in the rebuttal. Less people tune into the rebuttal than the actual State of the Union speech, and the overall presentation works against the person giving the rebuttal as well. Whereas the president hears commentary emanating from members of Congress' mouths during the speech, along with loud roars, and standing ovations at times, the individual giving the rebuttal typically appears to be in a room all by himself/herself, along with ...

So, I just heard (from an anonymous source in my mind) that 73-year old Brent Musburger watched Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron's girlfriend more often than he watched the national championship game last night.  Kirk Herbstreit caught Musburger in la-la land on a couple of occasions, which led to these back-and-forths: Musburger: "What penetration!" Herbstreit: "By the defense..." Musburger: "Yeah, that's it. Where was I going with that? Do you see, folks? This is what happens when you get to be my age. Can we get another shot of McCarron's girlfriend again? Wow. If I ever had a wife that looked like that... Whew...well, I won't go into detail folks." Herbstreit: "Thanks for that..." and Musburger: "...and the ball goes deep, very deep, oh so deep..." Herbstreit: "It was dropped like 5 seconds ago." Musburger: "Right you are, Herby. Right you are." Herbstreit: "What are you ...

It was recently reported that Mitt Romney attended the boxing match between Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez this past weekend. As claimed by Pacquiao publicist Fred Sternburg, Romney spoke with Pacquiao in his dressing room before the fight and told the fighter, "Hello Manny. I ran for president. I lost." Romney has never been one to appear very smooth with human interaction. However, this may be one of the most awkward-sounding lines he's ever publicly uttered. Is this how Romney is going to introduce himself from this point forward? "Hello X. I'm Mitt. I ran for president. I lost." How is another supposed to respond to such an introduction? "Hello Mitt. I'm X. I can't say I ever ran for president, but if I did, I'd probably lose as well." or "Hello Mitt. I'm X. Sooooo...how about those Patriots?" or "Hello Mitt. I'm X. You ran for president of what exactly? Hair club for men?" o...

A few years ago, a good friend of mine met this gal at work and she immediately thought this lady and I would click. As soon as my friend got home, she told me all about her. She was: Kind, generous, educated, attractive, etc. I hadn't heard my friend so excited about setting me up before, so the feeling was contagious. This gal, we'll call her Jackie, and I talked one evening and she seemed very personable at first, very social, not uncomfortable at all and she even asked me to meet up with her that night at this place where she was babysitting. I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with that proposition, but thought, "What the heck? It's probably better to meet sooner rather than later." When I arrived there, the lady whom she was babysitting for had arrived. So, there I was, at a place with this gal, Jackie, two kids and the kids' mother, none of whom I had met before. Awkward? Yeah, usually, but I was up to the challenge that evening. Right from th...