The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

As 11-year-old First Son Barron Trump boarded Air Force One on Sunday wearing a T-shirt and shorts, conservative news outlet The Daily Caller decided it was time to publish an article by the title of, "It's High Time Barron Trump Starts Dressing Like He's In the White House." Author of that article, Ford Springer, didn't stop there, as he also said this: "...while the president and first lady traveled in their Sunday best, young Barron looked like he was hopping on Air Force One for a trip to the movie theater," adding, "What am I missing here? Is Barron just better than I ever was at rebelling against my parents? His dad is always looking dapper and his mom has become a worldwide fashion icon since becoming first lady. The youngest Trump doesn't have an responsibilities as the president's son, but the least he could do is dress the part when he steps out in public." Former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton then fired back, tweeting,...

As long-time readers know, for whatever reason, strange occurrences seem to follow me wherever I go, especially when I venture to a bar. The same was true last night. Not 30 minutes after I sat down, I was asked by a semi-acquaintance, "Why do so many people think you're gay?" To this, I calmly relayed all the theories I've heard from others regarding the matter: "Because you're always respectful toward women," "You've turned many women's propositions down," "You're 36, not married, and without any kids," "No guy so nice, funny, smart, and cute could be single and straight," "You're a liberal who likes poetry and foreign films," etc. She then responded, "No offense, but if you were gay, I'd think you'd have better fashion sense. I even asked someone a while ago if they thought you'd be at all bothered if I took you jeans shopping." I provided a perplexed look in return, c...

I just spoke to a friend of mine a while back on this matter. She stated that, while it was alright for males to be caught wearing sweatpants in public, it's wrong for a female to do such a thing. Her reasoning was that sweatpants are only made to work out or sleep in. There aren't any exceptions. Is this true, ladies? Is it a secret code or law you all have with one another? Are sweatpants to American women like Burkas are to Muslim women, in a sense? While Muslim women are prohibited to go out into public without their Burkas properly placed, American women can't be seen in public wearing sweatpants? I'm utterly confused on this matter. Why? I don't know. Clothing just isn't that big of a deal to me, I guess. I'm the enemy of most major retailer stores. GAP, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, they all can't stand me. I wear clothes for humor, for expression, for comfort, and for as little as it'll cost me. This is where I'll never be ...