The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

As he attempts to reverse everything of which former President Barack Obama approves, current President Donald Trump has proposed what he has coined "The Obummer Ban," which he outlined on his Facebook page as follows: "Obummer destroyed this once great country, which we're gonna make great again, believe me! But look, trying to get us out of wars, giving 20 million people healthcare, rebounding us from a recession, you know, making our lives a living hell for 8 years, I think it's time we made his life a living hell too, and I'm gonna make it a bigly hell, I promise you! So I'm gonna ban turkey chili. Who likes that stuff anyway? It's turkey or chili, make up your mind! I'm also gonna ban beer. Who likes that stuff anyway? It's nasty! As I always say, 'Fear the beer!' That's true. That's so true. I'm also gonna ban M*A*S*H , Stevie Wonder, and that Gaye song, 'What's Going On?'. Mash rhymes with rash, so, I m...

Haven't we all, to some degree or another, missed former Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann's insanely hilarious quotes? I know I have. Well, fear not, for she's provided us with another gem, courtesy of her WorldNetDaily (AKA Conspiracy Nuts Forever) article, "Obama Enjoys Cuba While Civilization Burns": "Or maybe our president's humiliation comes in a manner so devastating it makes one wonder whether the Creator of humankind isn't reminding this world of the inferiority of foolishness in the face of wisdom..." First off, who would want to believe in a God that kills 31 people and injures hundreds others in order to humiliate a country's leader? Secondly, how can Ms. Bachmann and her ilk continue to cherry-pick like this? Bachmann: "Well, the Brussels terror attacks happened under Obama's watch, so maybe God's trying to humiliate the president!" Using her logic, we could respond with the following: - ...

Meet Roan Garcia-Quintana - a Tea Party activist, a Cuban native, who sees himself as white, not Latino. He's currently a board member of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), which has been listed as a white nationalist hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. This group opposes "all efforts to mix the races of mankind" and to "promote non-white citizen races over the European-American people." The Cuban immigrant is also the executive director of the anti-immigration group Americans Have Had Enough. Is it just me, or does Mr. Garcia-Quintana sound slightly confused? I can only imagine a woman's reaction upon meeting him off a dating site. Roan Garcia-Quintana: "Hello there. Trisha?" Trisha White: "Yes. How did you know that? Do I know you?" Garcia-Quintana: "Yes, it's Bob Johnson from E-Harmony ." White: "Wait...what? Is this a joke?" Garcia-Quintana: "No, it's really me. Is s...