The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

A gay-friendly commercial airs at a bar MAGA: "Ugh" Me: What? MAGA: "That" :: points at the television :: Me: "That"? MAGA: "You gay or something?" Me: No, but what should it matter? MAGA: "Look, you can do whatever, but just don't shove it in my face. Keep that sh*t to yourself, okay? We don't need to be seeing all that lovey-dovey sh*t." Me: What are you watching on your phone over there? MAGA: "Lesbian porn"

I just published a brand new Substack article, titled, "Sunday School Loves the Poorly Educated." It can be found and read at the following link. -  https://substack.com/home/post/p-193410777

MAGA: "Trump had the best economy ever in his first term and it's even better in his second!" Me: Trump was the first president since Herbert Hoover, in 1933, to leave office with fewer jobs than were present when he entered it. The past three months have equaled the lowest job-creation in such a span since, wait for it, COVID. MAGA: "Fake news! Fake numbers!" Me: :: I provide evidence to prove they're accurate :: MAGA: "Whatever. It's Congress that determines jobs anyway, not the president. Besides, Trump got bad economies from both O'Bummer and Slow Joe!" Me: I thought you said presidents don't determine jobs, so how can Obama or Biden be responsible for the economies Trump inherited? MAGA: "But that's different." Me: How so? Regardless, you've got things backwards. Obama inherited the largest recession since the Great Depression. Biden inherited the worst pandemic since the Spanish flu. Guess what? Both left Trump w...

When I saw the name Scarlett Johansson trending on Twitter the other day, I knew it couldn't be good. She was being taken down by the cyber-mob due to something she said in a recent interview with artist David Salle of As If  magazine. Here's the back-and-forth which got her into trouble. Salle: "Are we seeing an acting trend today?" Johansson: "Hmm... We live in such a weird time that is sort of identity-less in a lot of ways. I don't know if there's a trend in performance, but there's certainly trends in casting right now. Today there's a lot of emphasis and conversation about what acting is and who we want to see represent ourselves on screen. The question now is, what is acting any way?" Salle: "Right. Who gets to play what roles..." Johansson: "You know, as an actor I should be allowed to play any person, or any tree, or any animal because that is my job and the requirements of my job." Salle: "Yes. Mus...

Chris Wallace: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the third and final presidential debate. I'd like everyone in our audience to place duct tape over their mouths and around their hands for the rest of the debate, but you may now applaud the two most unpopular presidential candidates in this country's history, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump." Audience: Standing golf-clap Wallace: "Thank you. Now let's get right to it, shall we? There's been much talk of the Supreme Court and how the two of you may very well be able to shape SCOTUS for decades to come. So what are your thoughts on the Supreme Court, the justices you may potentially bring to the table, and what you hope SCOTUS looks like in the future. Secretary Clinton, we'll start with you." Hillary Clinton: "Thanks, Chris, and thanks to the University of Nevada-Las Vegas for having this debate. Give me an R, an E, a B, an E, an L, an S. What's that spell? Rebels!...

In the past week, I engaged in the following back-and-forth via Twitter: Me: "Rumor has it there will be a sequel to The #Wedding #Crashers. It will star John #Boehner, Mitch #McConnell, & be called #America Crashers." Someone's response: "I hear they're making a sequel to JFK...." Yes, this individual seemed to think it was funny to joke about the assassination of President Barack Obama - our first black president no less. As tempted as I was to reply, I didn't do so. I felt, with a response like that, he was obviously trying to get under my skin (not literally, thank goodness), and prompt an angry reply, so I decided to not give him what he wanted. In any case, though, I find it pretty sad and pathetic to joke around about the assassination of a president - especially one with such historical significance. As much as I couldn't stand the guy, I'd never have joked about former President George W. Bush being assassinated. As much as h...

Sergio Garcia won't be inviting Tiger Woods over to his place anytime soon, well, unless he's serving fried chicken, as Garcia stated. When asked by Steve Sands of The Golf Channel if he would be inviting Woods over for dinner during the upcoming U.S. Open, Garcia said, "We will have him round every night. We will serve fried chicken." Garcia then recently "apologized" by saying this: "I apologize for any offense that may have been caused by my comment on stage during the European Tour Players' Awards dinner. I answered a question that was clearly made towards me as a joke with a silly remark, but in no way was the comment meant in a racist manner." Yes, Garcia was asked a question intended to be a joke, and while he may have only been kidding with his response, he should have known better than to have placed Woods in a stereotypical black light with his "fried chicken" quip. That would have been like if Garcia was engaged i...