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Dead Nationwide kid speaks out, says "April Fools!" to the country

In a surprising twist to the controversial Nationwide Super Bowl commercial, the dead kid from it, whom oddly enough appeared to be alive when we spoke with him, said, "April Fools, America!" When asked why the "joke" of a commercial was released on February 1st as opposed to April 1st, the dead kid said, "Come on! What April Fools jokes catch the most people by surprise? Those told in February! Duh!" He then went on at length about the concept of the commercial, saying, "Like, we were totally going to try and be funny like everyone else, right? But then we quickly realized that none of us were that funny, you know? I mean, we had ideas about there being a food fight in the kitchen of someone's home and then the mom slips on some ice cream, falls to the ground, and yells out, 'Damn you, Ben! Damn you Jerry!" but we didn't want to seem too anti-ice cream or even too, what's that word? Too lac, lax, laxative-intolerant or whatev...