The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I think it can be made official - the groundhog is full of crap. How I was looking forward to an early spring. While I've experienced worse winters, this winter just won't seem to go away. It has been like one of those lingering headaches that never reach migraine status, yet seem to continue making their presence felt for hours and days at a time. So, what is the forecast for the first day of spring here in central Ohio? A high of 35, low of 21, with strong winds, and a chance of flurries. The forecasts for the following week don't have high temperatures exceeding 45 degrees, with a chance of snow showers on Monday, the 25th. I know I shouldn't put any stock in the groundhog's prediction, as he/she/its been right just 36-37% of the time. However, I was hopeful. My mother even told me she saw birds which signified that the groundhog was right. Of course, those were vultures, not robins she was seeing, but still... http://www.weather.com/weather/tenday/Delaware...

This is one of the strangest colds I've ever encountered, if not the strangest. On Friday morning, it felt as though the left side of my throat was sore, but not the right side. I then noticed last night and this morning, only my left nostril and left ear were plugged. My right nostril and ear seemed to be doing fine. So I'm not sure what's going on here. Do I actually have two different personalities or beings lodged inside me - the left and right side? I'd love to see the look on a doctor's face when talking to him about my symptoms... Dr. Frankenputz: "So, what's the problem?" Me: "Well, I feel half-sick. My left side feels sick, but not my right..." Frankenputz: "Uh...what?" I'm not sure what the problem is either, fictional doctor. At the rate I'm going, though, I'm predicting I'll get a headache on the left side of my head tomorrow, have a sprained left ankle come Tuesday, feel spasms on the left side...