The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Tis the season to give, carol, drink eggnog, donate, be merry, all that crap. Oh, I forgot one, it's also the season to lie. As children, we're often told a story of a jolly, bearded, obese man named Santa Claus and, if we're good, he'll provide us with presents under a tree within our homesteads in the wee morning hours on Christmas Day, but if we're bad, may just place coal in our stockings. Then a few years down the road, if we haven't figured it out already, we're informed that the story isn't actually true. Okay, so my son is now 3, and I've decided I will not be sharing the big lie with him, for several reasons. 1) Trust. I don't want to lie to him. I want him to trust me. Some say, "Oh, it's just Santa. It's a harmless little lie." No it isn't. Studies have fairly consistently shown that kids who are taught the big lie by their parents are more inclined to be liars themselves when they grow to be adults. They're a...

Podcast: "I Feel Snitty" Episode 25: The Drumpf That Stole Christmas Premiere Date: 1/8/20 Length: 5:43 (870 words) Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/the-drumpf-that-stole-christmas/ Transcript: Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 25, entitled, “The Drumpf That Stole Christmas.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki. Sooo, Happy New Year! Can I still say that, especially as two days into the new year, Donald Trump basically declared war on Iran? Alas, let’s focus our attention on a less crazy time, shall we? Let’s go back to December 24th of last year. Here’s how I envision Donald Trump spent his Christmas Eve - reading his own rendition of Clement Clark Moore’s “A Visit From St. Nicholas.” “T-was the night before Christmas, when all through the White House Not a creature was tweeting, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by my African-American with care, In hopes he places only the best clean coal in there; The children has Nestles all over their beds; ...

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "The Drumpf That Stole Christmas," is now available! Here's a brief description of it: No Christmas would be Christmas without Donald Trump reading his own rendition of Clement Clark Moore's "A Visit From St. Nicholas," so that's exactly what I bring to you in this episode. You can check it out at this link:  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/the-drumpf-that-stole-christmas/

Like every holiday season, it was hectic and draining this year. Many presents were opened. A lot of food was eaten. A number of people called for the family to do shots. Movies and football were watched. Music was played. Laughs were had. There was one moment, however, which stood out from the rest this past Christmas season. A family member of mine had alienated himself from the rest of the family for the past 10-15 years. I hadn't seen this individual for roughly 8 or 9 years. After hearing about an awful accident this person was involved in, I wondered to myself if we'd ever see each other and interact again. I thought, "Was it really worth it? The grudge(s) which prevented you from spending time with the family?" That's one thing that's always struck me about grudges. None of us know full well when our time will come in this life, so if tragedy strikes either us or an individual to whom we've given the silent treatment for years, how much regret wi...

I may be weird, but I've never been a huge fan of Christmas music. It's the same songs every year, repeated time and time again for a couple months, mostly centering around a make-believe story most parents use as a lie in order to manipulate their kids into being "good" for 365 days, whatever that word really means. Having said that, though, after hearing about Cleveland's WDOK radio station banning the classic Christmas song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" due to its potentially sexist/ableist messages, even I said, "Isn't this going a little far?" After announcing its decision, host Glenn Anderson wrote this on the station's website: "I do realize that when the song was written in 1944, it was a different time, but now while reading it, it seems very manipulative and wrong. The world we live in is extra sensitive now, and people get easily offended, but in a world where #MeToo has finally given women the voice they deserve, th...

It's common this time of year to sit back and reflect on one's life. Between taking a moment to illustrate gratitude on Thanksgiving; spreading joy, love, and gifts on Christmas; and starting anew on New Year's Day, this is the time of year many of us look back at the year that was, and look ahead to the year that we hope will be. That self-reflection has been kicked up a notch for me this year, as just prior to the holidays, someone very close to me's father passed away unexpectedly. This struck an immediate sadness and fear inside me, recognizing that one day, whether I wanted to admit it or not, that was going to be my mother and/or father. That was going to be me. So as I spent time with family over Thanksgiving weekend, I really tried to savor the moments I had with them. Moving forward, I'm going to try to never take them for granted. I'm going to try to keep in better touch. I'm going to try to forever remain thankful for their love and support. I f...

Like a lot of people around this time of year, I'll be spending a lot of time with friends and family over the coming few days, so just in case I'm unable to write in that time-frame, I thought I'd send a "yuge" Happy Holidays shout-out to all of my readers, listeners, and followers (of the cyber-stalking variety). So, Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope you have a fun, safe, and (relatively) drama-free holiday weekend! Remember, if a relative starts to spew Trump, don't hesitate to dump eggnog on them! 'Tis the season, or something...

It seems that on an annual basis, around this time of year, I hear people show anger or annoyance at those who express seasons greeting differently than them. Emerald Fuddyduddy: "Happy Holidays!" Russell Zoloft: "No, it's Merry Christmas! What are you, a fricking atheist?!?" Fuddyduddy: "Seasons Greetings!" Zoloft: "Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! You can't spell 'Christ' without 'Christmas,' or something like that!" I'm sorry, but who cares? Fox News likes to clamor on about an alleged "War on Christmas" because an increasing number of people are telling each other "Happy Holidays" as opposed to "Merry Christmas," but that's a bigger myth than Santa Claus being healthy enough to travel the world on December 25th of every year without facing any repercussions. Again, who cares? It's not like when someone says "Happy Holidays," they're re...

I'm not going to beat around the bush (literally or figuratively); it's been a rough end to the year. I'm still not exactly sure what happened Saturday night. Everything's still kind of a blur (and yes, I was completely sober). All I can remember is alternately feeling warm and cold, being unusually shaky, and before I knew it, experiencing heart palpitations like never before, having extreme difficulty breathing, and reaching a point where I thought I wasn't going to live much longer. An emergency vehicle arrived shortly thereafter, rushed me to a local hospital, where I got fully hydrated and settled down, to the point where I was released early the next morning. It was a struggle the next three days, though, as I found myself having trouble sleeping, feeling anxious as deja vu struck me while laying in bed, and thinking about my breathing, almost paranoid about it, much more than usual. Four days after the frightening experience, while I still feel alternately wa...

When I first heard about the story concerning Christians' outrage at Starbucks for their plain red cups around Christmas, I honestly thought I was reading satire. As a matter of fact, I'm still wondering if that's the case, because I can't for the life of me understand the outrage. Starbucks vice president Jeffrey Fields said that, with the red cups, the company "wanted to usher in the holidays with a purity of design that welcomes all of our stories." Ex-pastor Joshua Feuerstein took exception to this, as he posted a video on his Facebook page, which has since gone viral, claiming Starbucks was removing "Christmas from their cups because they hate Jesus." He then went on to encourage customers to tell Starbucks baristas their name was "Merry Christmas," so the employees waiting on them would write that on the cup. I'm sorry, but this is beyond ridiculous and stupid. I know the folks at Fox News have made far-right Christians in...

According to a popular Christmas-time forward, which has been deemed as "partly true" by fact-checker Snopes.com (or partly false), conservative talking head and man voted to have a more boring voice than a robot by the name of Dullby - Ben Stein - had this to say about the holiday season: "I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat." Like many over at Fox News, it appears as if Ben Stein feels that there's an all-out "War on Christmas" in this country. To Stein and his ilk, saying "Happy Holidays!" to a person can be translated to, "God is not present among us!" What pu...

In light of seeing many "don't-take-Christ-out-of-Christmas" posts on Facebook and elsewhere, I would like to go over some formulas: Xmas = Christmas (X = the symbol for the first letter of the Greek word for Christ, which is "chi") Therefore... X-Men = Christ-Men X Games = Christ Games X-rated films = Christ-rated films (okay, perhaps those don't work so well...) http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/xmasabbr.asp

I'm heading out of town tomorrow to spend some time with family, so I'll be unable to blog for the next week. I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas or if they celebrate a different holiday, a wonderful holiday season. I wish everyone safe travels, to have fun, and I hope Santa Claus wasn't overly liberal with his giving of coal this year!

Well, I'll be out of town for a few days, so I won't be able to blog during that time. At the place where I'll be staying, my uncle's, his computer is slower than a tranquilized sloth. I'll be lucky if I can check my e-mail once every couple days. In any case, I hope everyone has a great holiday. Have fun, stay safe and have an experience so crazy and memorable that when you wake up the next morning, you remember nothing.

So, for whatever reason, I decided to do some research on what the people thought about holiday jewelry commercials, in particular, Kay and Jared's. On one Yahoo board, the question was, "Aren't the Jared's commercials awful?" One person responded with, "You remember them, so obviously not." Eh, just because a person remembers something doesn't mean it's quality. It can be the direct opposite actually. If something is seemingly stuck inside one's noggin, there's a decent chance that it's either very well done or so awful it won't go away. I'll never forget the films "Date Movie," "Gone Fishin'" or "Dude, Where's My Car?" This isn't because I felt these were quality movies. I felt the direct opposite. In my humble opinion, they were the three worst films I've ever seen. When it comes to moments in my life, I'll likely remember the very best and worst moments more than an...

So, I just read an article that Justin Bieber's mother told him from the start about the myth of Santa Claus and her reasoning was so the dishonesty of lying about Santa Claus didn't come back to potentially bite her when she tried telling him that while she lied about Santa, she wasn't lying about the existence of God. I'm not going to debate the existence of God. That's another matter entirely. However, I have always wondered what the pros and cons are of allowing children to believe the fairy tale known as Santa Claus. I'm not a parent yet, but I'm honestly uncertain of how I will approach the subject when I do have kids. I suppose I will have to speak with my wife about it and hopefully through discussion, we'll be able to come to a complete agreement, if not a decent compromise on the matter. I remember my brother was devastated when he found out the truth about Santa Claus and I know many other people whom were similarly affected after they bec...

So, no, Jesus' birthday isn't on December 25th. However, many people like to celebrate his birthday on that day and refer to it as Christmas (when it was created to counter the Pagan's Winter Solstice). So, okay, I'll let it slide for the time and just pretend that since we have no idea when the man was born, we just chose December 25th for the hell of it (even though that's not true, as stated above). So, what has Christmas become? Shopping. Gifts. Spent money. The hot new items. Black Friday. Material things. Objects. Presents. Cash. Checks. Credit cards. Toys. Junk. Jewelry. Cars. Games. Clothes. JC Penny's. Target. Toys 'R Us. Best Buy. Victoria's Secret. In The Bible, Jesus says the following: The young man said to Him, "All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?" Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow M...

When it comes to people crying out that they're having their rights with regard to religion stripped from them in this country, I find they're typically of the Christian faith. This country is predominantly Christian and has been for as long as I can remember (further back than that, as I'm only 30). Without prayer in public schools, The Ten Commandments displayed on government buildings, creationism taught in school, people uttering the words happy holidays in December, the separation of church and state, etc., some like to clamor that their rights are being taken from them - that Christians are the ones being persecuted in this country. I find this almost comical for how ridiculous it is, yet also very common in like scenarios. When a person or group of people possess more rights than others, when said others obtain equal rights, it may feel to the first group of people that their rights have become fewer. That's not the case. It's just the fact that the others ...

It doesn't exist. That will be all. Happy holidays to everyone.

Texas Governor and Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry has caused quite the stir in recent days due to a new ad of his. In this add, Perry says the following: "I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school." http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/12/09/rick-perrys-strong-campaign-ad-gets-the-web-angry-and-laughing/ A classic satire of the ad was displayed on "The Colbert Report" a couple days ago. That can be seen here - http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/403958/december-08-2011/rick-perry-s-pro-christmas-ad This ad made me a bit speechless. It was reminiscent of the Herman Cain smoking ad, where I couldn't tell if the ad was legitimate or a parody. Honestly, since the ads were indeed genuine, comics didn't have to parody them...