Tis the season to give, carol, drink eggnog, donate, be merry, all that crap. Oh, I forgot one, it's also the season to lie.
As children, we're often told a story of a jolly, bearded, obese man named Santa Claus and, if we're good, he'll provide us with presents under a tree within our homesteads in the wee morning hours on Christmas Day, but if we're bad, may just place coal in our stockings. Then a few years down the road, if we haven't figured it out already, we're informed that the story isn't actually true.
Okay, so my son is now 3, and I've decided I will not be sharing the big lie with him, for several reasons.
1) Trust. I don't want to lie to him. I want him to trust me. Some say, "Oh, it's just Santa. It's a harmless little lie." No it isn't. Studies have fairly consistently shown that kids who are taught the big lie by their parents are more inclined to be liars themselves when they grow to be adults. They're also less likely to trust others, especially authority figures, or believe in any religion. This isn't even factoring in the time I was traumatized by my little brother's gut-wrenching tears when he learned the truth about Santa. Trust me, my kid's imagination is strong enough, without the addition of a bigly world-traveling phantom.
2) Unconditional love. I don't like the idea of giving my son an ultimatum based on subjective terminology for expressions of love. Who decides what's naughty and good? Is there a certain dividing line on the number of days one must be naughty or good in order for the recipient to make the cut? Again, I want my son to know I'll love him no matter what.
3) Hypocrisy. I find it quite hypocritical when a parent tells a child they have to be good in order to receive presents from Santa, for the parent is lying in the process. I don't know about you, but I've always thought that lying was a bad (naughty) thing. Based on this rationale, parents should be the ones receiving coal in their stockings.
4) Appreciation. People work hard to save money to spend for their loved ones on Christmas. I want my son growing up to know who exactly it is that took time out of their day and money out of their account to provide him with the gift he's holding. It wasn't a stranger he'll never meet; it was nana, mommy, daddy, papa.
5) Future. Based on the aforementioned studies, while I myself may not be religious, I don't want to potentially impede on my son's personal religious exploration. If he winds up being nonreligious as well, so be it. If he goes a different route, that's fine too. I just want that to be his decision, not mine.
6) Hope. I don't want my son to grow up thinking the only do-gooders in the world come via fairy tales. I want him to see and experience the generosity of many during this time of the year: providing food for the homeless, toys for underprivileged kids, etc. I want to instill in him hope that there are good people in this world, and that he himself can make a difference.
7) Dreams. I want him to be able to think up the seemingly unthinkable and not have his near impossible dreams quashed because he came to believe that miracles were all inevitably lies.
8) Spirit. I want him to understand the true joy of the holiday season doesn't reside in the fiction of Santa Claus; it resides in the reality of being and sharing special moments with family, friends, and loved ones.
Parents can do as they so choose. I just sometimes wonder if these holiday traditions based on falsehoods are more for the adults than the children, for children already possess great imaginations and adults may just be attempting to recapture a glimpse of their childhood. Good or bad, though, I'll love my son unconditionally, and I don't need Santa Claus to be a kid with him.
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