The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

On Rush Limbaugh's radio show earlier this week, the drug-addled Pillsbury Doughboy said this: "See, in my humble opinion, folks, if you believe in God, then intellectually you cannot believe in manmade global warming ... You must be either agnostic or atheistic to believe that man controls something that he can't create." First of all, how can strong religious beliefs be seen as "intellectual" in any context? Such individuals place their blind faith in a person they've never seen before, never heard, never spoken to, never met - yet they give their entire life to this invisible being in hopes that they'll be eternally rewarded after death in a land that they can't prove exists. That's about as "intellectual" as when my dog looks up at the ceiling, looks all around at seemingly nothing, and then goes outside to bark at a blade of grass. Secondly, even if one believes in God, why is it he or she can't believe in global warm...

"It's always the last place that you'd think to look." Yeah, no kidding, because once we've found "it," only a demented fool with Alzheimer's would continue to look. Sharon: "Did you find it, honey?" Joe: "Yes, I did! Finally!" Sharon: "What are you doing?" Joe: "I'm still looking for it!"

This past winter, I saw a headline on The Weather Channel which read, "Snow Reduces Visibility". This was quite the mind-blowing announcement. I mean, there was man landing on the moon, the invention of the airplane, George W. Bush becoming president, but none of these events could match the significance of this one - snow reduces visibility. To call this profound would be like calling McDonald's unhealthy. I wonder what the next headline on this very channel will read. Perhaps it'll be something along the lines of "Rain Makes Things Wet" or "Heat Makes People Sweat" or even, and this would be a miracle which would prove the existence of God, "Sun Brightens Sky". No matter what this headline reads, one can believe all eyes and ears will be waiting and watching (hearing too, I suppose) for The Weather Channel to reveal yet another bit of information likely to change the world. Well, I better go. I'm running an experiment to see if...

"It's always the last place that you'd think to look." Yeah, no kidding, because once we've found "it," only a demented fool with Alzheimer's would continue to look. Sharon: "Did you find it, honey?" Joe: "Yes, I did! Finally!" Sharon: "What are you doing?" Joe: "I'm still looking for it!"