The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

It's being reported that New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was stopped and frisked yesterday by police when walking his dog Gronknuts around the block. Belichick allegedly resisted at first, saying, "I only raise my arms when we score a touchdown or when my wife asks if I'm 'sure,' as in that deodorant crap. What are you, a Ravens fan or something?" The Patriots head coach then said, "Fine, go ahead - search away. As a matter of fact, I urge you to search all of my pockets." Upon doing this, Officer Francis Dick found his hands covered in dog treats and dog crap, before letting Belichick continue onward, snarling as he walked away, or smiling - it was difficult to tell which. When asked why the Super Bowl-winning coach was stopped and frisked in the first place, Officer Dick said, "We received several calls from neighbors about a suspicious man in a hoodie with his hands in his pockets, so we had to promptly check out the situ...

I live in an area which is kind of a hybrid of suburbia and the country. Most of the people in this neighborhood are older than me, married, and with fairly young kids. Cliques here appear to have been formed many years ago. When I came rolling into town about 5 years ago, while the people here seemed nice for the most part, I definitely felt like an outcast. What I'm probably most known for in this neighborhood is walking my Siberian husky multiple times every day. It's during these times when I'm at a loss of when to truly interact with some people. If someone is jogging or walking and wave, I know that, like me, he/she is probably in an exercise-type zone and a hello is just a hello. However, there have been other times when someone has waved during my walk and actually wanted to chat for a couple minutes. Then there have been a number of times when a person waves, asks, "How's it going?," without really meaning that. So, how is a person - especially a ne...

I love old grumpy neighbors. One such neighbor lives across the street, is retired, and if he had to list his top hobby and was honest about it, it'd be complaining. Just a few days ago, I was walking my dog around the area and this very neighbor started talking to me. It was garbage day and he was asking if there were some lights on the driveway which somehow broke and wound up in his yard and on the street next to his yard. I knew this wasn't the case and told him of this, but he didn't seem to believe me. He obviously wanted someone to clean up the mess. A day later, with the help of family, we cleaned up the mess, even though it wasn't ours. Yesterday, I bumped into him again as I was walking my dog and he said he owed me a thank you. I said it wasn't a problem, but again let him know the lights weren't mine. He then seem puzzled on why we cleaned up the mess, and I responded, "Oh, just being nice." I think this made him guilty, for he gave a...

I love dogs. I've owned 3 in my 31 years and all have made for great pets. I had a cockapoo for 17 years (Rocky) and two huskies. One (Tasha) had to be put down last November, unfortunately and the other - Tara - is 11, but still acts like a puppy. Keeping that in mind, I really wish my neighbors (generalizing here) would keep a closer eye on their dogs. Now, Tara is as friendly as a dog can get. She's never snapped at anyone or anything before and I honestly can't see her every doing that. She's nothing but love (and weirdness). When someone does something to her she doesn't care for (like brush her, wash her, etc.), she licks them, as if to say, "Please stop. Please..." A year or two ago, as I was walking both she and Tasha around the neighborhood, a dog from two houses down came charging at her. Tasha was the bigger of the two - kind of the mommy figure - and stepped right in front of Tara and barked. The dog backed off a little bit. Tara, meanwhile, ...

I know my parents are like this. I'm curious if most people are. As soon as it gets dark, the shades must be closed. Why? Because according to them, there could be people just outside the house looking in wanting to see an exciting show, you know, of them watching television shows. That or neighbors from hundreds of yards away have their binoculars in hand and are peeking through, because well, they've got nothing going on, right? Really? Do we really have to worry about that? Do married couples, children or even single adults really do that? "So, what should I/we do tonight? Watch 'CSI'? Watch the game? Read a book? Listen to some music? Play video games? Check e-mail? Sleep? Oh, I know, I'm going to watch the neighbors if their shades are open. That will be a blast! I'm going to make some popcorn!" I think I may keep the shades open all night and dance in the nude. I'll have to wait and see if I wind up on YouTube, that or the cops knock on...