The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I just received this comment on an old writing of mine, titled "Horror film characters are ridiculously stupid": - "Haha! 😂 That's perfect!" The writing can be found here. - https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/2013/07/horror-film-characters-are-ridiculously.html

No matter the medium, there's something genuinely precious about experiencing art which connects with you on an indescribable level. Whether it be a poem, a painting, a book, a song, or even a joke, the potential power of art on one's being is truly remarkable. In the modern age, however, art has seemed to lose a bit of its luster with the younger generations. Picture yourself coming home from a long workweek. You come home; grab a glass of wine; and all you want to do is sit in your recliner; and listen to your favorite album. After a few sips of wine, you lay your head back; close your eyes; and allow the music to seep into your pores. A relaxation you haven't felt in what seems like weeks dawns on you, and you feel at peace. It's almost as if the song is being sung directly to you. ...and who's to say it's not? Who's to say this song, this album hasn't placed you at ease after attending twenty meetings over the course of the past five days, and taken ...

I remember seeing the 2006 Oscar-winning film Crash in the theaters in 2004. I was 23 years old, in college, in the midst of taking a "Film History and Appreciation" course, and upon seeing it, immediately thought: - It was powerful. - The acting was superb. - The interconnected stories increased my interest. - It was a solid film (4 or 4.5 out of 5 stars) - But something was missing... When I discussed the film with my future sister-in-law, while I made the aforementioned comments, I also noted that the dialogue felt forced at times. For whatever reason, I decided to view the film again in the past week - 18 years later, and here are my observations: - There were powerful moments. - The acting was great, but character-development was sorely lacking. - The interconnected stories were interesting, but took away from the before-mentioned character-development. - The dialogue was often cringe-worthy.  - Overall, good movie, but not great, and definitely not Oscar-worthy (3 or 3....

I've always been fascinated by controversial art. I think it's because I've found it intriguing to witness what constitutes as "controversial" throughout history; how the definitions have differed/evolved over the years; and just how wrong people often are when it comes to the genuine message and intent behind such works.  The latest such hoopla has centered around the French film "Cuties," which was released on Netflix over the past month. The film's release prompted a nationwide cyber-protest/boycott of the film-streaming giant, which resulted in roughly 8 times the number of cancelled accounts as was typical. So, how did the controversy come to be? Honestly, not until Netflix grabbed hold of it. "Cuties" was praised by critics upon its international release, so much so that it resulted in an award at Sundance. When Netflix picked it up, however, they decided to release an unseemly poster of the 11-year-old girls, at the center of the fil...

While I was at home battling a case of the stomach flu on Saturday night, I had no idea what I was about to get myself into when I decided to order the film The Hate U Give On-Demand. The film may be based on a novel, but given the increasingly strong relevance it has in our society and the seemingly personal nature of the picture, it felt more real than other such films, as real as a documentary. THUG (The Hate U Give) centers around a young black man being pulled over, pulling out a hairbrush from the backseat of his car and getting shot and killed by a white officer, with a friend of his in the passenger seat. The young woman is understandably shaken by the event. While she lives in a black neighborhood, she gets educated at a predominantly white school and tries to separate those two lives the best she can. Having to regularly split her identity into two, she soon starts losing herself. Members of the Black Lives Matter movement start protesting the incident, especially after a...

I had some fun with the trending hashtag #AddTrumpRuinMovie on Twitter yesterday. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be read here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) Cloudy With a Chance of Horsesh*t #AddTrumpRuinMovie 203 Likes, 43 Retweets 2) One Belongs in the Cuckoo's Nest #AddTrumpRuinMovie 188 Likes, 33 Retweets 3) I Know What You Tweeted Last Summer #AddTrumpRuinMovie 181 Likes, 31 Retweets 4) The Gropes of Wrath #AddTrumpRuinMovie 163 Likes, 38 Retweets 5) The 70-Year-Old Pervert #AddTrumpRuinMovie 149 Likes, 34 Retweets 6) Fifty Shades of Pay to Play #AddTrumpRuinMovie 136 Likes, 31 Retweets 7) Little Hands of Horrors #AddTrumpRuinMovie 137 Likes, 29 Retweets 8) Coming to Destroy America #AddTrumpRuinMovie 133 Likes, 25 Retweets 9) Eternal Darkness of the Empty Mind #AddTrumpRuinMovie 112 Likes, 22 Retweets 10) Jealous Father of the Bride #AddTrumpRuinMovie 105 Likes, 25 Re...

There are probably between 5 and 10 films I can't ever get tired of watching (that may be an understatement), and Rob Reiner/Nora Ephron's classic, When Harry Met Sally , is one such film. It is, without question, my favorite romantic comedy of all-time, and every now and again, I feel the urge to watch it again for the umpteenth time. Just recently, for whatever reason, I began thinking about some classic dialogue from the film regarding platonic friendship between men and women. Here are the two back-and-forths from the film about the matter: Harry Burns: "You realize of course that we could never be friends." Sally Albright: "Why not?" Harry Burns: "What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." Sally Albright: "That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved." Harry Burns...

It appears as though Sherwin-Williams employees have stormed out of theaters all across the country after discovering that the film Fifty Shades of Grey isn't a documentary about paint. When asked about this, Chairman and CEO of the company, Christopher M. Connor, said, "I saw part of the movie before I headed toward the exits. All I can say is that's one f**ked up shade of grey!" It has yet to be determined if the company will file lawsuits for false advertising, emotional stress, traumatic brain injury, and/or giving the color grey a bad name. If such lawsuits are filed, they'll likely request that the book and film be retitled as, Fifty Shades of F**ked Up .

I had wanted to see the new Seth Rogen and James Franco film, The Interview , anyway, but after threats were made to theaters across the country that featured the film, which resulted in most of them cancelling the movie's premiere, this made me want to see it all the more. Fortunately, I was able to check it out on-demand the other day, and I'm happy to tell everyone, I've yet to get nuked, so that's nice. Having seen the film now, I have to laugh at why we were threatened over it in the first place. This wasn't just a comedy, it was a comedy so ridiculously over-the-top, even a man that goes by the nickname "Seriously Literal" would have seen that. It included so many butt and poop jokes, The Count from Sesame Street  would have even reached a point where he said, "Ah, f**k it! I'm done counting!" Heck, the film attempts to satirize the modern day news media (or media in general) about as much as it does the North Korean leader. Kim Jong-...

When first seeing Mike Judge's 2006 film, Idiocracy , my first thought was, "Well, this could go down as the cleverest stupid movie I've ever witnessed." I thought that while the film held a clever premise, the jokes induced about as many facepalms as when a semi-rational person listens to Rush Limbaugh's radio show. However, after seeing what occurred during Tuesday's elections, I have to wonder if Mike Judge is psychic and the film was almost a scarily accurate portrayal of what was to come eight years down the line. On Tuesday night, the following measures got passed in different parts of the country: - Stricter gun-control measures - Minimum wage increases - Anti-fracking measures - Legalizing medical marijuana - Legalizing recreational marijuana - Voting down anti-abortion amendments Also on Tuesday night, Republicans gained control of the Senate, further solidified their control in the House, and increased their quantity of governors acro...

Hooked on Phonics obviously didn’t work for characters in horror films (page 54-55 in the book The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s: Volume 2 - The Wisecracks Continue ) Is it just me or is there a written requirement somewhere which says, "If you're a character in a horror film, you have to be stupid”? I went to see the film The Purge a while back, and like with many contemporary horror films, I spent most of my time laughing and giving the why-in-the-hell-are-they-doing-this-are-they-stupid look. Yes, I know the main intent of horror films is to frighten viewers. However, if the viewers find the script and plot so ridiculous, it's unbelievable to the point of being silly, then how will the film genuinely frighten said viewers? Here's my slightly exaggerated version of a scene from a contemporary horror film: Setting: A newly wed couple driving along the interstate, heading to Little Rock, Arkansas late at night Mr. Eugene Blockhead: "Oh, look, honey. There's t...

My mother said the upcoming film 2 Guns looks "cute." The writers would probably be thrilled with that description: Writer #1: "So, what should we call the film?" Writer #2: "Let's go with something macho, alpha-male... How about 2 Guns ?" Writer #1: "I like it! Two guys, two guns - which can be taken in more ways than one, if you know what I mean! Ha!" Writer #2: "Exactly! If there's one thing I want people to think heading into this movie, it's that it'll be cute." Writer #1: "That can be our tagline - 2 Guns is 2 cute or something like that. We'll work on it..."

When I awoke yesterday morning from a deep slumber, I started giggling for whatever reason. Yes, I must have had a strange dream. In any case, I suddenly pictured the character Forrest Gump in a porno entitled Forrest Hump and couldn't help but start laughing. Yes, my mind works in very strange ways sometimes (most of the time).  I then immediately pictured Forrest Hump uttering the following line from a porno by the same name - "My mama always said, 'Life is like a box of broken condoms. You never know what you're gonna get.'" I may have to present this "brilliant" idea to Tom Hanks via Twitter. ...to be continued...

I didn't really know what I was getting into last night when I sat in the recliner to watch a film I had taped on TCM (Turner Classic Movies) a couple months ago. The film was the 1962 Spanish classic El Angel Exterminador (The Exterminating Angel), co-written and directed by surrealist great Luis Bunuel. After seeing this film, I have to say I'll make it a point to see many of Bunuel's other works. This is the kind of film that frustrates many viewers, while marveling others, for it leaves open to interpretation the point and message it's trying to get across, while being able to provide just as much power and marvel behind one interpretation as with another. As for me, I'm definitely in the latter of the two groups I mentioned. Some people need a very black-and-white message, void of symbolism and ambiguity, to be fully satisfied with a film-viewing experience. While I can be satisfied with such a viewing, I tend to more enjoy an experience where my mind is stim...

So, I just got back home from seeing the film "50/50," which just started airing in theaters today. I saw a preview for this a while back and immediately knew I wanted to see it. As far contemporary actors go, Joseph Gordon-Levitt ranks very highly for me and continues to climb the ladder. It seems that most people know this actor as the guy from the tv show, "3rd Rock From the Sun". He's done a bit since then. The only problem being that he's been the focal point of mainly independent films, which critics have hailed, but which haven't received much attention otherwise. These films include: "Brick," "Mysterious Skin," "The Lookout," etc. He also played a part in the smash hit, "Inception" and really hit it big as far as lesser-name films are concerned with his lead in "(500) Days of Summer". So, when I heard of him playing the lead character in a dramedy regarding a man battling cancer, I knew I was goin...

When I first heard of the lingo used on the social-networking site, Twitter, I immediately began to chuckle, a chuckle which could signify one thing and one thing only - perverted thoughts. Whenever I hear the word tweet, depending upon how it's used, I interpret it to mean one of two things: 1) That funny looking thing males have of which they seem so fond (his "tweet") and 2) The display of love (or lust) through the art of penetration (they "tweeted"). With perverted interpretations at code-level orange, I now bring to you The Top Ten Twitter Pornos in the history of the ever-growing genre: 10. "Tweeting Sarah Marshall" 9. "When Harry Tweeted Sally" 8. "The Man Who Tweeted Too Much" 7. "Tweet at the Museum" 6. "My Big Fat Greek Tweet" 5. "I Know Who You Tweeted Last Summer" 4. "Tweeting in the Rain" 3. "Pee Wee's Big Tweet" 2. "White Men Can't Tweet" ...