The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Just yesterday, Donald Trump told the world, "I really think if I'd had been there, I would have run into the school and disarmed the Parkland shooter with my bare hands." Here's a man that basically ran away from an eagle, a person shouting at a rally, and someone who was dying. He has more Vietnam deferments than Jesus has disciples. Okay, that last one may be slightly exaggerated, but you get my point. The man possesses less courage than my spayed dog has testicles. However, if he wants to play the game, Things That Would Never Happen , why should we stop there? In the future, expect Mr. Trump to state the following: - "I really think if I had been there, I would have jumped on to the iceberg and pushed the Titanic away from it with my bare hands. I really do." - "If I were God, I woulda created the world in 5 days." - "I woulda only needed a rubberband & a Blockbuster card to kill Hitler." - "I've always said th...

For whatever reason, a few years ago Chuck Norris made a comeback - not in film, but in becoming a superhero myth. The elderly poor-acting action star no longer became known as the lead in films such as Missing in Action , The Delta Force , and Invasion U.S.A. He became known as the strongest, most manly man the world has ever known. Jokes (or facts) started to be spread about him, such as the following: - "Fear of spiders is arachnophobia. Fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is logic." - "Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead. It's just afraid to move." - "Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life." In an odd way, I think the Republican Party has followed a similar model when it comes to Ronald Reagan. Sure, the man passed away over 9 years ago, but each and every day, his legend grows. According to the Republican Party, Ronald Reagan wasn...