The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

When away from the workplace, people are free to believe as they so choose, no matter how discriminatory or inaccurate those beliefs might be. They're free to believe in God, worship the devil, pray to a stuffed rabbit they call Tiger. However, when at the workplace, while we're still free to believe such things, we can't use them to impose on the freedoms of others. At least, that's what I thought prior to the most recent wedding cake-bakery decision by the Supreme Court, which sided with Colorado baker Jack Phillips and his denial of wedding cake services to gay couples. I'm sorry, but how can we legitimately call ourselves the "land of the free," a believer in the Constitution, if, in professional settings, certain groups of people aren't protected by the law? Jack Phillips is free to believe in the Christian religion, but like everyone else, he has to make some sacrifices when he steps outside of his home and into his workplace. We may be afforde...

"When I said that I'd be faithful When I promised I'd be true When I swore I could never Be with anyone but you When I told you that I loved you With those tender words I spoke I was only kidding Now, can't you take a joke?" Those were some of the words to Weird Al Yankovic's song, "I Was Only Kidding," from which Donald Trump appears to be taking his cue. In a recent interview with Wisconsin Fox affiliate WLUK, the GOP frontrunner defended his long (and continuing) history of sexist comments, saying, "Well, number one, I'm no different than anybody else, and people joke, and I joke." He added, "And I never knew I was going to be running for office. And you joke, and you kid and say things, but you're not a politician so you never think anybody cares." Lastly, he said: "Much of that I said in jest, much of that I said - although with the Fox debate, I didn't say that in jest at all. I said that 10...

While the phrase has existed in some form for quite some time, "Love the sinner, hate the sin" has seemed to become increasingly more popular as the LGBT community has been garnering more rights across the country these past few years. I often times hear anti-gay marriage Christians attempt to sound more progressive and tolerant by simply saying, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Sure, that may sound easier on the ears than, "God hates fags," yet the consistent undertone of these two phrases and others is that of hate, the former simply disguised better than the latter. When's the last time you heard the following interactions? Frederick Titicaca: "So, did you hear about that pastor's wife spotting him at a Fifty Shades of Grey orgy over the weekend?" Sandra Shaft: "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Emily Teabag: "My hubby and I went to a comedy show on Friday night, and neither one of us could believe how m...

I had to laugh at Ndamukong Suh's "reason" for stepping on Aaron Rodgers' bad leg (twice), saying that his feet were numb from the cold. Really? So, even though Rodgers had been hobbling around and even had to leave the game earlier due to reaggravation of a calf injury, Suh accidentally stepped on the quarterback's calf not once, but twice, just by accident, without appearing to be in any hurry to get off the hobbled quarterback's leg, because his legs were numb from the cold? Is that right? And since it was an "accident" and Rodgers pushed on Suh's leg to get him off of it, Suh didn't think to look down and say, "Oops, I'm sorry. My legs were numb from the cold"? Wow... Well, if and when Suh retires from football, I think it's a safe bet he won't become a lawyer. Due to his awful excuse, don't be surprised if he says the following things in the future: - "I only held that guy because my hands were numb....

Just last night, I spoke to a friend about a date he had the other night. It was a blind date a mutual friend of theirs had sent them up on. They had talked over the phone and texted quite a bit over the course of the past week, things appeared to be going very well, and she even told him how great she thought he was and that she really liked him. While he thought the date went really well (it was actually her idea) and they had tentative plans for a follow-up date, she texted him with the message, "I think you're a great guy, but I don't really see this going anywhere." Ah, the ol' "...but..." line. The "...but..." line never seems to go out of style, does it? Like my friend, I've heard this line uttered to me on a number of occasions. It's as if people feel that they're being nice by using the line - that it will lighten the blow and rid them of the guilt that goes along with the rejection. - "You're really nice, BUT ...

One of the most controversial aspects of the stand-your-ground laws (I'm talking to you, Florida...) is the fact it can give one an excuse to kill a person and then claim self-defense. In this type of scenario, the deceased individual is left with no opportunity to tell their side of the story, and with no other witnesses, it becomes the word of the living killer against that of the deceased victim. This is why it appears the shooter is more prone to being punished if his or her targets survived the shots than if one of them was killed. Michael Dunn is the most recent example of this. He shot three African-American teenagers in their car at a gas station and wound up killing one of them. While he's been found guilty with attempted murder of the two kids whom survived, it couldn't be determined one way or the other whether or not he killed the one kid in an act of self-defense. Not to make light of the Michael Dunn tragedy or others like it, but to depict just how ridiculo...

Why is it when someone ends a statement with "no offense" or "no disrespect," it's usually following words that were offensive or disrespectful? Does the inclusion of those two words at the end of the comment somehow negate the offensive or disrespectful words which preceded them? I don't think so... Here are a few exaggerated examples of what I'm talking about: - "Your wife is uglier than Medusa on a bad day! ...no disrespect..." - "Your boyfriend is such a lying sack of s**t! ...no offense..." - "Your husband is fatter than a sumo wrestler named Jumbo Shrimp! ...no disrespect..." - "Your sister is a whore! ...no offense..." - "I've seen bums in caskets work harder than you! ...no disrespect..." - "That baby of yours is more annoying than Fran Drescher's voice as her nails are going against a chalkboard! ...no offense..." No, none taken at all...

After seeing the new movie 42 this past week, I decided to read what people had to say about it via IMDb.com, and was often disappointed with what I read. The longest threads started with a claim that the film was nothing but "liberal propaganda," that it was another "Hollywood, anti-white person" movie which was overloaded with exaggerations and short on facts. Now, while I'll be the first to admit that films based on true stories can often times be "Hollywoodized" - meaning some facts are substituted with box office-boosting material, these films also contain an element of history. It seems that many people on the far-right of the political spectrum have an almost dismissive attitude toward racism. They either feel it's no longer a problem today or that it was never as big of a problem as many on the left (you know, historians) have made it out to be. They also tend to feel that minorities in this country often times use racism as an excuse f...

With there being the possibility that the Supreme Court could make gay marriage legal across this country, the gay marriage debate has been running more rampant than ever. Over the past few days, I've read through a number of these debates, which have typically included at least one person saying something along these lines - "I have no problem with gays, but I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. Why are the so-called tolerant liberals getting on my case about that? It's my opinion. As an American, I have that right. It makes me laugh that you all call me a bigot, yet you won't accept my opinion as is. Who's the bigot now?" What these very anti-gay marriage individuals seem to be missing is that most of us pro-gay marriage progressives aren't saying they don't have a right to their own opinion. If a person doesn't approve of homosexuality, while I may not agree with him/her, I'm not going to say he/she doesn't have a right to t...

Whenever someone starts a sentence by claiming he or she's not racist, sexist, homophobic or the like, and then adds the conjunction "but" following that line, there's a 99.897% chance he or she is going to contradict themselves by uttering something which would be seen by most as racist, sexist, or homophobic. An example of this would be, "I'm not a racist, but that n***er over there better not look over here or else I'll knock him flat on his backside." It's as if these people feel that by preceding their "-ist" commentary claiming they're not an "-ist," it excuses them of the inevitable "-ist" comments they're about to make. I'm sorry, but things don't work that way. That would be like if a guy told his girlfriend, "I'm not going to make out with that girl over there," and then started making out with the lady he said he wasn't going to make out with. Does his preceding the ...

Mitt Romney is at it again! During a May private meeting with donors in Boca Raton, Republican nominee Mitt Romney told his wealthy audience that it wasn't his job to worry about the 47% whom didn't pay federal income taxes. They were moochers, solely dependent upon the government and wouldn't vote for him anyway. As it was a private meeting, Mr. Romney was unaware that it was being recorded and that it would circulate the internet and airwaves more than lesbians scream when they see Justin Bieber. This resulted in his approval numbers falling harder than Dane Cook does for himself. Romney then attempted to suggest that he didn't really mean what he said during that private meeting and he would represent 100% of the people. Following the beat-down Romney suffered on election day, he decided to suggest to fund-raisers and donors that Obama only beat him because of how generous he was with his gift-giving to certain key demographics - namely blacks, Latinos and young ad...

The supposed party of responsibility is at it again - finding others to blame for their defeat in the election. Not only did they fall short in the presidential election, but lost seats in both chambers of Congress as well. So, what are some of these reasons for defeat that the Republican Party has been citing in the days following the election? Let me list off a few: 1) The electoral college - When President Obama was announced as the winner of the 2012 presidential election, he had a smaller share of the overall popular vote than did Mitt Romney. This caused an uproar among many in conservative circles at first. What they failed to realize, however, is that there were millions of votes yet to be tallied and as of now, President Obama leads by approximately 3,000,000 votes nationally to go along with his 332 electoral votes. This theory lasted all but about 28 minutes. There are stoners' theories about being able to fly with their arms that have lasted longer than that. 2) G...

When engaging in a political debate on Facebook last night, someone was making the claim that they're fearful of Obamacare. He never stated why he felt this way, but attempted to defend his position by saying, "I've read the bill." I've heard this a lot over the past year or two. When debating with someone about healthcare reform or about Constitutional rights, without giving any specifics, one party will declare, "Well, I've read the bill!" or "I've read the Constitution!" and that's the end of their argument. What, do these people want a cookie? A gold star? What exactly? Do they truly feel that just by saying they read a particular document, it means they know everything pertaining to said document and no one else will be able to match their level of education regarding it? If this is the case, why do they suddenly end the debate when they're asked to point out specifics regarding the document which they claimed to read a...

Yes you are. Whenever a person precedes a "point," rant or tangent with, "I'm not a (fill-in-the-blank), but..." chances are they are exactly what they claim not to be. Some examples I've heard/read are like the following: "I'm not a racist, but that (derogatory term) needs to get out of this country! He doesn't belong!" Yes, that's comforting... "I'm not a sexist, but women should be in the kitchen and stay in the kitchen. Know what I'm saying?" Actually, no... Why don't you ask them that and see how many balls you have left down in your nether-region. "I'm not a homophobe, but that (points to a couple men or women holding hands) s**t just ain't right. They need serious help!" Not nearly as much as you. "I'm not a slut, but I just like a lot of sex and with a lot of different guys." Fabulous and why/how are you not a slut again? Yeah, so whenever someone prece...

Ever notice that most every time a person precedes a comment they're going to make by saying, "I'm not (a) (fill-in-the-blank, but...," they follow that by making a statement which seems to showcase they are in fact the fill-in-the-blank they just claimed they weren't? "I'm not a racist, but...(makes derogatory remark about a certain ethnicity)." Okay, if you're not a racist, why did you feel the need to say that and then follow it up with a racist remark? "I'm not a slut, but I like sleeping around." Eh, what? Okay, so define slut for me... "I'm not a sexist, but I think women are far inferior to men in every way." Uh huh. ...and I'm sure these women feel the same way about you. Congrats! You da man! I think a lot of people precede such comments with the ol' "I'm not a (fill-in-the-blank), but..." because they somehow feel that gives them a license to make any kind of comment, regar...

I love when people resort to what they consumed the night before as an excuse. I sometimes think that's why people drink alcohol in the first place, because it automatically gives them an excuse to be stupid. It's even worse when people claim to not have remembered the prior evening's events. "Oh my gosh, I was like so wasted last night." "Yeah you were. I can't believe you..." "I did that? No way! I so don't remember!" "You don't? Oh my gosh! You..." Then come the details of things the person is too embarrassed to admit. Alcohol makes us numb, indifferent and we lack the connection of cause and effect when we're intoxicated. Our conscience isn't quite where it should be when we're inebriated. I mean, I admit, I've done dumb things while I've been drinking, but I remember everything I did, won't deny what I did and won't play the drunk-excuse card with anyone. It's a sad excuse...