The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Trump supporters stormed the streets after it was revealed their favorite band, Rage Against the Machine, was not in fact angry at the same machine they were. Billy-Joe-Bob-Jimmy Johns-Jones-Smith, a 109-year-old resident of Trailer Park, Kentucky, said, "We's always be playin' them's songs when that there washer broke down again. When that happened, we'd be like, 'Welp, it's time for a little 'Take the Power Back.' But then we hears they's mad at people like the Orange Messiah himself? What da hells is wrong wit dem?!? That's it. No more rage for me!" Jessica Falseteeth, a 22-year-old dental assistant at an undisclosed Walmart added, "I always thought 'Without a Face' was about a dishwasher and 'Voice of the Voiceless' was about the fan in my room. Feels like I've been lied to all my life!" Feeling the purported backlash of couples of MAGA supporters, Rage guitarist Tom Morello tweeted the following messag...

I just received this comment on my blog, entitled, "Musers Discuss Their Favorite Muse Songs": - "I did read it, and it made me laugh!! It was well written, not sure why the folks of Reddit didn't appreciate it as they should. Then again, those are the same f*ckers who voted out Endlessly. lol." The blog can be read here: https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/2022/08/musers-discuss-their-favorite-muse-songs.html

The world’s most famous satirical-news site, The Onion , has a regular feature called “slideshow” – where they tackle a topical issue by placing fictionalized, often times hilarious quotes attached to celebrities regarding said matter. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s just one example. - https://www.theonion.com/ceos-explain-how-they-will-protect-abortion-rights-1849134877   For whatever reason, I decided to concoct such a slideshow (void of any pictures, sorry), which pertains to Muse.   Musers Discuss Their Favorite Muse Songs “Execution Commentary” - “I play it all day, every day at work, so how could I not love it?” – a mortician   “Piano Thing” - “I mean, it’s what I do; it’s what I teach; it’s what I know. Not to get technical, but that’s what I call all those doodad thingamajigs that make noise on it.” – a con-man posing as a pianist   “Jimmy Kane” - “So, I once knew a guy who knew a guy who knew another guy who...

So long as everything goes as planned (or at least as hoped), my new book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title , should be available for purchase by Christmas. It'd make the perfect late stocking-stuffer! Forget the coal; just buy your kids my book! Well, that's all I have to share about the matter for now. I'll keep everyone up-to-date as things progress. Stay tuned!

Well, for the third time in the past six weeks, I'll be traveling over the next few days. My brother, sister-in-law, and niece will be flying up from Omaha and meeting up with the rest of the family and I for the weekend, before heading back here and spending some more time with them over the following week. Due to that, my blog posts may be few and far between over the course of the next week. I'll attempt to write some when I return back home, but have a hunch I won't have a great deal of time to do so. In any case, I have jotted down several satirical short story ideas and plan on writing a bunch when time allows for it. I have honestly been fairly burned out when it comes to politics of late, so for whatever reason, as you may have seen over the past couple of days or so, I've been on an Onion-type satire kick, and plan to continue that trend when I return. A great number of ideas have sprung to mind in recent days for these satirical short stories, and it seems lik...

While I am a liberal and like President Obama much more so than his predecessor, I will not shy away from criticizing he and his administration when I feel it's warranted. That brings me to an article I read today. Remember James Clapper? He's the Director of National Intelligence who lied when asked if the NSA collects data on a significant number of Americans when he said, "No. There are cases where they could inadvertently perhaps collect, but not wittingly." Well, Mr. Clapper is back in the news again. In light of the NSA controversy, President Obama announced that he would form an independent group to assess our surveillance and intelligence gathering. He then announced that Mr. Clapper will be the head of this supposedly independent group. That's right - the same Clapper that lied about the NSA collecting data on millions of Americans will head an independent review on such matters. The Vegas odds are at 1 : 1 that this story will be covered on either Th...

TMZ did its best Onion impression today when the site posted an article with the following headline - "ANNE HATHAWAY Prefers the Company of Strangers to Paparazzi." It only gets better from there, or worse depending on your perspective. Here is the actual content (if we can call it such) of this very article: "Anne Hathaway's parents didn't raise her right -- because she hopped into the car of a TOTAL STRANGER ... rather than have to talk to one of our photogs. The 'Bride Wars' star had just landed at LAX and rushed right into the first waiting SUV she could find, but it wasn't her ride. Rather than get out of the car, she politely asked the driver if she could stay until her car came ... and he said yes! Anne's ride eventually showed and she quickly jumped out of the wrong car and into the right one. Seems like a risky move just to avoid a TMZ camera guy. What did we ever do to her?" In a related poll I just made up, 94% of peopl...