The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Here's how I imagine a conversation with an Ohio MAGAt (or any MAGAt, really), leading up to the midterm elections. Who are you voting for in the midterms? MAGA: "Republicans, of course!" Why? MAGA: "So we don't turn into a communist whatever!" Can you define 'communism' for me? MAGA: "What, are you some kind of socialist?" I'm just asking, since you brought it up yourself, what in fact is 'communism?' MAGA: "It's what the commies do." And what are 'commies?' MAGA: "They're the ones in charge of communism." Without saying 'commies,' what is 'communism?' MAGA: "What the communists do." Okay, I see I'm not getting very far with this. What other reasons do you have for voting Republican in the midterms? MAGA: "Sex-changes" Excuse me? MAGA: "All these kids are going to school and getting sex-changes." At school? ...

MAGA: "Vote for our kids' futures!" So, how should we vote? MAGA: "Republicans!" Who's the face of the Republican Party? MAGA: "Donald Trump, the greatest president and human in world galaxy history!" Oh, you mean the guy who has allegedly raped kids? MAGA: "Yeah, wait no, what?" So, voting for our kids' futures is voting for the party of a man who allegedly raped kids?  MAGA: "Well, yeah!"

In recent years, there's been a growing number of people claiming the two major parties in the United States are one and the same. While I have long asserted the issues I have with a two-party system, I'm not going to beat around the bush; the Democratic and Republican Parties are about as identical as Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The biggest difference between the two parties is mindset. Democrats need consistent proof to persuade them on an issue, whereas Republicans need a sliver of evidence to prove or disprove a point. There are exceptions, of course, which often poses a paradox for the Republican Party - as they don't believe there are exceptions to every rule; they believe exceptions are the rule.  Just recently, New Jersey Governor Mikie Sherrill announced, since 2023, 400 Garden-State noncitizens have voted in elections. This has set off a firestorm amongst Republicans, as they've long-claimed rampant election fraud; that the 2020 presidential electi...

My first Subtack article can be found at the following link, and is titled, "But it will never happen to me..." https://craigrozniecki.substack.com/p/but-it-will-never-happen-to-me?r=5axds0

While it's human nature to be more emotionally impacted by a tragedy when it affects an individual personally, I find it progressively more commonplace, and frankly progressively more disturbing, to see large quantities of people not exhibit a shred of empathy, nor sympathy when said horrific occurrence occurs outisde their orbit. If and when I ever inquire how the aforementioned tragedy impacted them, I'm typically met with a shrug of the shoulders and the same sentiment - "It will never happen to me." Yes, I'm more or less referring to the MAGA cult, or, I'll be nice and call it a movement (yes, in line with bowel movements, but I digress). Hard-line members of this...movement firmly believe, no matter what happens to people like Renee Good or Alex Pretti, there's zero chance of a similar fate meeting them. You'll hear them defend the ICE agents, who committed the murders of Mr. Pretti and Ms. Good, as just doing their job; following the rule of law;...

Here's a back-and-forth I had with a MAGA recently... MAGA: "The earth is flat and cancer is made up." Me: WTF are you talking about?!? The earth is round and cancer is most certainly not made up. MAGA: "You sound like a Democrat, believe everything you're told." Me: Who told you the earth was flat and cancer was made up? MAGA: "Do your own research. I did mine." Me: I'm asking you where you researched. MAGA: "That's for you to figure out." Me: Let me guess, it was some tinfoil-hat wearing conspiracy theorist on YouTube. MAGA: "You call them conspiracies. I call them truth." Me: These conspiracies have been debunked more times than Einstein could count. MAGA: "Debunk? What's that?" Me: To disprove MAGA: "Vaccines aren't cures; they treat symptoms." Me: What about polio? MAGA: "What about it? It's coming back." Me: Why is that? Anti-vaxxers. MAGA: "Modern medicine has no purp...

I received the following comment on my parody, "Cult of Mass Stupidity" (based on Living Colour's "Cult of Personality"): - "😀 🤣 😂" The lyrics to the song can be found here. -  https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/2025/08/cult-of-mass-stupidity-parody-based-off.html

Cult of Mass Stupidity (parody based off Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality”) “And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection?”   Look at their tweets What do you see? The cult of mass stupidity   They go to YouTube; they post some memes With typo-filled conspiracies They are the cult of mass stupidity   Like Ghouliani and Chachi They’re the cult of mass stupidity The cult of mass stupidity The cult of mass stupidity   In straight science, they hear signs When Fauci speaks, they see Dahmer’s eyes They believe all they can’t see Anti-woke, always asleep   They want to ban the absentees Yet say, “Support our military!” They are the cult of mass stupidity   They cry, “Counting is for the cheats!” “Unless the math agrees with me!” They are the cult of mass stupidity   Like Clint Eastwood’s chair a...

When out last night, I was invited to sit with a group of people at a bar patio. They had always been nice to me, but I didn't know them a great deal. The banter was light for a few minutes, but then the topic of vaccines arose, and my, oh, my, that was something. Apparently, they're all anti-vaxxers. Here's how that portion of the conversation went. MAGA #1: "Did any of you get the flu vaccine? It's so useless. I'm proud to say I never got any COVID vaccine." MAGA #2: "Same here. I don't trust the government. Did you get one?" MAGA #3: "Oh, heavens, no. Nuh uh. Did you?" Me: "Heck yes!" MAGA #1: "I just read that there's a link between the COVID vaccine and ADHD." Me: "That's false. :: shows him a study, debunking his claim ::" MAGA #1: "That's your opinion. I feel differently." Me: "No, it's been debunked. Your opinion is wrong." MAGA #1: "Whatever, dude. I kno...

The Top Ten Signs You're in the MAGA Cult 10. Whenever you get a haircut, you ask the stylist to place two dead squirrels on your head. 9. Your nickname in and outside of work is 'NDA.' 8. You step inside locker rooms, just to talk about grabbing pu$$y. 7. On your tombstone will read the epitaph, "Many people are saying..." 6. You've been fired from a daycare center for continually challenging 5-year-olds to arm-wrestle. 5. So ardently opposed to anything green, instead of watering the lawn, you sh*t on it. 4. You're less impressed by God creating the world in 6 days than you are by Trump destroying it in 2. 3. You constantly claim your mini-mushroom is the biggest. 2. Your FarmersOnly.com password is "tariff." 1. (drumroll) Instead of soap, you shower with bleach.

Here's a lovely back-and-forth I've had with MAGA cultists over the past day. Me: I've now designed 11 patriotically hilarious anti-MAGA shirts. They can all be found and purchased here. - https://when-shirts-hit-the-fan.printify.me/?fbclid=IwY2xjawJRJMFleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHUgO5oyCYpRybUu5UxGcIQa7ivX6qRqdTbDaz41p5_tVpq9CQYkW-VBk1Q_aem_t6MFTOP9_tuKpU4mW53dWg MAGA #1: "Can I get a Kamala Harris’s a moron and an unintelligent liar shirt too?" MAGA #2: "yeah I want one of those!" Me: You'll need to look elsewhere for that. I'd recommend checking out either MAGAProjection dot com, TrumpLied30573TimesInHisFirstTerm dot org, or InRussiaWeTrust dot gov. MAGA #1: "I’ll try. Funny how the democrats and Kamala lied about joes cognitive dysfunction? You are a party of terrorists burning tesla dealerships. Your party is pathetic and BTW you aren’t funny just poor." Me: Lots of projection in that response. Which demographic commits the most terrorist ac...

Why'd you vote for Trump?  "He'll end the Ukraine war on the first day!" Yeah, didn't happen. What else you got? "He'll make groceries cheaper!" He's about to implement tariffs, which will increase the price of groceries. Care to try again? "He's a man of God!" His favorite book is "Two Corinthians." "So?" Who, besides your orange messiah, calls it by that name? "Everyone I know." Liar. The guy wouldn't even place his tiny hand on the Bible while being sworn-in. "So?" He seems to make it a point to break every Commandment at least 45 to 47 times a week. "No one's perfect." The guy has compared himself to Jesus I don't know how many times. "But it's kinda true when you..." Have you ever read the Bible? "Of course! It's my favorite book!" Read the teachings of Jesus. They are antithetical to the words and actions of Lord Little Hands. "Anti-...

Deludable Sheeple (parody based on the Marilyn Manson song, “The Beautiful People”)   And they don’t want you, but they do need you   With your vote, they can’t ever be beaten   It’s not your fault that they’re always wrong   It’s your fault that you always follow along   Deludable sheeple, d eludable sheeple   When you’re told to look through a peephole   “Don’t dare believe anything you see”   “Even when your inflatable doll pees”     There’s no time to research nor think   Just turn around, nod three times, and wink or blink     Hey, you, what can’t you see?   All your dumb, debunked conspiracies?   Hey you, remove the tinfoil please?   Masking your eyes just helps to spread the disease   (Duh, duh)     The dopes, they live in their own holes   The best determined who can dig the most   The dutiful sheeple, the dutiful sheeple   They’re moronic, blindfolded, ...