The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Larry the Fable Guy: "Everyone run! Let's get out of here! It's coming!" Jeff Cockworthy: "It is? Well, shoot. Looks like I'll have to leave my adult toys in the washer." Bill Dingbat: "Can I put mine in your washer too? Mine isn't working." Jeff: "We're getting out of here, numbnuts. I'm sure there will be plenty of adult toys wherever we wind up going." Ron High: "Dudes, chill out. Can I at least finish my whiskey?" Larry: "That's your eighth one, slick!" Ron: "Yeah, I know. You guys go on without me. I'm just going to pass out over here by this lovely neighbor's mailbox. Hopefully the person that lives here is hot and takes care of me nice and good, if you know what I mean." Larry: "Okay, fine! Jeff? Bill? Do you guys wanna stay here with Ron and die or are you coming with me to get away from this ensuing monster?" Jeff: "I'm going with you, of...

I sometimes get flustered by the lies that get spread by people over the Internet and through other mediums. It seems that ever since the government shutdown's inception, these myths have been increasing in frequency on an almost daily basis and all I can say is, I feel sorry for Snopes.com . Most of these rumors and posts have been about President Obama - showing him in a negative light. All of them have been false to one degree or another. This isn't the first such week or two that this has occurred. Peruse Snopes.com under Barack Obama and you'll find well over 100 chain emails being spread about him - close to 90% of which are false on some level. What's even sadder is often times, even when I take the time to fact-check such nonsense and report my findings to the sender, he or she tends to believe it anyway and continue forwarding the debunked information onto others. Why do some do this? Why, even when their spread lies are proven to be such, will they continu...

Run to your basements! Bring some water, food, and a flashlight! Turn on the television for breaking updates! Make certain to bring your children with you, your spouse, and even your fish-tank with the one-eyed albino you call Cyclops Scissorhands! Armageddon is officially upon us! The Affordable Care Act is here! ::silence before the storm:: That's right, ladies and gentlemen, as of yesterday, you can check out your options under Obamacare at healthcare.gov. While there were numerous reports of the typical first-day glitches, it seems as though the site generated more visitors and enrollees than expected, and will be working in the coming days to make the experience smoother for more people. So while it appears as if the Affordable Care Act (::ahem Obamacare::) is off to a grand start and is polling better than Obamacare (don't ask...), some people are still convinced it's the end of the world as we know it (and they don't feel fine). I saw numerous posts on...

In response to the Obama Administration making Plan B available over the counter for women of any age, conservative talking head and woman voted most likely to have been a man in a former life - Laura Ingraham - said the following on Fox News Tuesday morning: "These girls can't get their ears pierced, they can't take an Advil at school without parental permission. Yet, they can go into a pharmacy in this Brave New World of women's equality and - quote - reproductive health and get a morning after pill." She also said this reversal by the Obama Administration would be "a good deal for pedophiles" as well as "men who want to abuse women." So, if a pedophile or an abusive man rapes a woman, Ms. Ingraham would prefer that this woman not take the morning-after pill and increase the odds that she has an abortion than to take the morning-after pill and decrease the odds of having an abortion? For a woman that is so anti-abortion, I find this to ...

It's been about three years since President Obama's healthcare law passed Congress and was signed by the president himself. Sadly, three years later, the public is just about as uninformed now on the healthcare law as it was right when it passed. A Kaiser poll was just released regarding the public's knowledge on the healthcare reform law, and the numbers were quite disturbing. When poll participants were asked if the healthcare law included the following components, more answered the questions incorrectly than correctly: - "Cut benefits for people in Medicare" - 43% correctly answered that the law does not do this and 44% incorrectly answered that it does do this, with 14% responding that they aren't sure. - "Establish a government panel to make decisions about end-of-life care for people on Medicare" - 39% correctly answered that the law does not do this and 40% incorrectly answered that it does do this, with 21% responding that they aren...

Hollywood legend and rumored lead to the film Mister Rogers Blows Up His Neighborhood  - Clint Eastwood - provided the perfect performance at the Republican National Convention, as far as symbolism goes, to illustrate how the majority of the Republican Party views President Barack Obama. For anyone with a half-functioning eye or ear would know, Eastwood's performance showcased the Hollywood star talking to an invisible President Obama sitting on a chair. Like Eastwood that night, it's seemed as if 98.3% of hard-core Republicans (especially Republican leaders) have been telling the American people about an invisible Obama sitting on a chair. I seriously wonder sometimes how many far-right Republicans would be able to spot President Obama in a crowd. It's as if they have been playing the childhood game of telephone with one another throughout the president's first term, and with him being elected to a second term in office, it's not likely to stop anytime soon. In t...

In a recent Rolling Stone  interview, the following was written: "...executive editor Eric Bates told Obama that he had asked his six-year old if there was anything she wanted him to say to the president ... She said: 'Tell him. You can do it.' Obama replied: 'You know, kids have good instincts. They look at the other guy and say, 'Well, that's a bullsh**ter, I can tell.'" Of course, upon hearing about this, many in the conservative community said things such as the following: "That's really presidential..." "What a good way to set an example for the children..." "I've never heard a president utter such a word in an interview before..." "It takes one to know one, Mr. President..." "Just like what you've been giving us for four years?" That's right. Barack Obama is the first president in the history of our country to use what is coined a swear word. No other president has ...

How I love political chain e-mails. You know, the e-mails that are sent to you and 25-50 others from an uncle of yours named Bucky, which portrays a wild conspiracy of a politician being a martian from Neptune as being factual. I especially love such e-mails when they center around Barack Obama. All I can say is thank the Internet gods for Snopes.com. Snopes fact-checks these very e-mails and allows people such as myself to check on the e-mail's validity and report back to the sender of the e-mail and all its recipients. No, I haven't made too many friends doing this, but I just hope I've been able to positively influence at least one person to fact-check these darn things before sending it to half of the country and Neptune. Of course, I have run into a couple occasions where the sender of the chain e-mail has, upon receiving my fact-checking response, told me that Snopes is liberally-biased. Yeah, that again. I swear, if the source doesn't include Fox News, Rush Limba...

First, here is the letter to which I will be responding: "President Barack Obama has done a 180-degree turn from his view in 2008 that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I find it curious that he says he wants states to legislate this matter for themselves, but when it comes to other issues, such as Arizona’s right to protect its borders, he is against that autonomy. The real question is: “What’s the big deal about gay marriage?” I mean, it doesn’t really hurt anyone, right? Wrong. It hurts those who practice the behavior. Studies show emotional and psychological harm not only to the partners, but also to those close to them, including their adopted children. Health risks abound with the AIDS epidemic. Isn’t it odd that a monogamous, heterosexual couple, celibate until marriage, have zero chance of contracting AIDS (barring intravenous drug use)? Maybe God, who claims infinite wisdom, really knows what he is talking about. There also are financial repercu...