The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

On Friday's episode of Chris Russo's Sirius XM show Mad Dog Unleashed , CBS Sports chairman Steve McManus said the following: "From a television standpoint, you really root for the big teams. Last night's Kentucky outcome was not good for us and not good for TBS at all. Kentucky being the blue bloods that they are, and having the television draw that they have, that really hurt us. Kansas State winning - I have nothing against Kansas State as a school or a team - but that really hurt us." He added: "It's [Loyola-Chicago] a great story, I think Sister Jean is terrific, but to have an upstart like that go this far is not a disaster obviously, but not the bets of all scenarios for us." I'm sorry, but this is BS. Why does he think the NCAA Tournament is nicknamed March Madness? Because it's good for the predictable to always occur? I don't think so. The movies about college basketball that come out of Hollywood, do they tend to revolv...

With this being March Madness and all and the seemingly ubiquitous departures from the White House, I felt a sports analogy was in order for the Trump administration. Here's a running list of the administration's officials whom have either been fired or left on their own volition: 1) Acting Attorney General Sally Yates 2) National Security Adviser Michael Flynn 3) Deputy Chief of Staff Katie Walsh 4) Deputy National Security Adviser K.T. McFarland 5) FBI Director James Comey 6) Communications Director Mike Dubke 7) Spokesman for Trump's legal team Mark Corallo 8) Press Secretary and Communications Director Sean Spicer 9) Press Aide Michael Short 10) National Security Council Member Derek Harvey 11) Chief of Staff Reince Priebus 12) Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci 13) National Security Council Senior Director Ezra Cohen-Watnick 14) National Security Council Director of Strategic Planning Rich Higgins 15) Office of Public Liaison George Sifakis 1...

 I think Spike Lee is one of the greatest modern-day directors; Samuel L. Jackson is an Oscar-caliber actor; and Charles Barkley is a Hall-of-Fame basketball player and oddly entertaining commentator. However, combining all three talents in Capital One commercials this March Madness has resulted in me getting headaches while providing the expression which will be in the dictionary next to WTF-face . In one commercial, the three are in a car, singing "Home of the Brave," as Barkley incorrectly sings about the deer and the cantaloupe playing. In another, they're singing "I've Got Friends in Low Places" while on donkeys and horses. Yes, Spike Lee is the shortest of the three of them and is on the donkey. Get it? To their credit, the three stars try to make the best of what they've been given, but the writing is so lazy, not even Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks could have made it work. It's like the writers placed a bunch of song titles into a hat, drew a...

While there's always a critique here and there when the NCAA Tournament Selection Committee announces the 68-team field, the criticism was bumped up a notch this year, especially from yours truly. After the field was set, most college basketball analysts rightfully complained that there was no good reason to invite Arizona State and UCLA over USC or Oklahoma over Oklahoma State. USC finished 2nd in the Pac-12, lost in the conference title game to top seeded Arizona, and both Arizona State and UCLA finished near the middle of the pack in the conference standings. Meanwhile Oklahoma State defeated Oklahoma twice during the course of the season and the Sooners struggled more during the tail end of the season than a drunk blind man struggles at the urinal. So when it comes to these gripes, I completely agree with the ESPN commentators, but that's where the agreements ended. Two teams who were fully deserving of earning a spot in the field of 68 were Middle Tennessee State and S...

It's almost here! Beginning tomorrow, March Madness will be on full display, and I can't wait! Since there isn't one or two teams that stand out to me this year, I'm thinking this tournament will be especially crazy (in a good way). Bring on the chaos! How wide open are things this year? I see these 9 teams all having a decent shot and running the table and winning the title: 2 Arizona 2 Duke 1 Gonzaga 1 Kansas 2 Kentucky 2 Louisville 1 North Carolina 3 UCLA 1 Villanova Here are four teams which have the skill and talent to make a run for it as well: 3 Florida State 5 Notre Dame 3 Oregon 4 West Virginia Lastly, here are a couple of potential sleepers: 7 Michigan 6 SMU As far as 1st round upsets go, here are ten games to keep your eyes on: 9 Michigan State over 8 Miami (Florida) 9 Seton Hall over 8 Arkansas 9 Vanderbilt over 8 Northwestern 10 Marquette over 7 South Carolina 10 Virginia Commonwealth over 7 St. Mary's 10 Wichita State ove...

During the first weekend of March Madness, I learned that... - ...Villanova likes playing in March about as much as Pope Francis likes playing with himself. - ..., if referees starred in their version of the film The Princess Bride , "goaltending" would be the term they'd frequently misuse. - ...Wichita State is as much a #7 seed as I'm a woman named Flo. - ...Enterprise still picks people up. - ..., playing 6 games in 10 days, Dayton appeared to lose some kind of bet. - ...Michigan State may be attempting to get the month of March nicknamed Izzo History Month. - ...Wisconsin coach Bo Ryan will likely audition for the next Grinch film. - ...Charles Barkley would make a "turrible" poet. - ...Kansas coach Bill Self will one day write a book, entitled, Always the Favorite, Rarely the Winner . - ..., almost overnight, people went from saying, "You know who I haven't heard about in a while? Christian Laettner,"...

While hypocrisy does bother me a great deal, I'd be lying if I said I was never a hypocrite. Chances are each and every one of us has been hypocritical at one point in our lives or another. So, when I say I can't stand hypocrites, to not sound hypocritical in saying that, I'm just referring to those whom are hypocritical so frequently, people are often times shocked when they're actually consistent. In saying that, I find myself being slightly hypocritical when it comes to the tournament selection for March Madness. After the field of 68 was announced last night, I overheard ESPN basketball analysts Dick Vitale and Jay Bilas debating one another about which teams belonged in the tournament. Dick Vitale stood up for the little guy (Murray State in this case) and basically said, "It's all about winning games! Murray State won 25 in a row at one point! They went three months without a loss! I mean, are you kidding me?!? It's about winning games, bab...

Well, I've officially finished proofreading and editing book #3 out of 4 ( LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses ). I'll attempt to finish proofreading and editing book #4 next week ( LOL at the GOP - Volume 5: You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party" ). In the meantime, I'll hopefully have books #1 and #2 fully proofread by another ( The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue  and The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue ) by the end of the weekend. If she really gets on a roll, perhaps she can proofread book #3 as well.  In any case, I've reached a point in the week where my mind really can't handle any more, and I'm going to enjoy some March Madness college basketball starting in approximately one hour! I hope everyone enjoys their coming weekends, and if you're into March Madness, that you enjoy that as well! Best of luck to you...

I've been slightly perplexed since the start of the NCAA Tournament last week. Following the four play-in games last Tuesday and Wednesday, we were down to 64 teams, as has been the case for quite some time. As the games were being played on Thursday and Friday, many college basketball analysts and commentators referred to the games as 2nd round action, and Saturday and Sundays games as 3rd round action. I'm sorry, but until the brackets are expanded further and every team has to play another round of games, I'm not going to refer to these four play-in games as the first round. What, does that mean 60 teams have byes that round? That's quite the playoff system right there! I imagine the genius behind the format was thinking, "Okay, you know how in pro football, each conference has six teams in the playoffs, with the two best teams having byes in the first round? Let's times that by fifteen, where we have eight teams play in the first round and give sixty team...

I wonder when the last time was that the #1 overall seed in the NCAA Tournament went to the dance with six losses. That's what we have this year with #1 Louisville of the Big East. That provides the perfect illustration of this year's college basketball season. It has been one of chaos, one where the #1 teams have played musical chairs more often than Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl star in awful movies, and one where it's difficult to see a favorite to win the championship. Once the brackets were announced on Sunday night, I began feeling a migraine coming on, and once I actually sat down to look at the brackets, that migraine was in full-effect. How crazy are the brackets? Let me tell you... - The Pittsburgh Panthers of the Big East, after finishing the year ranked #20 in the AP poll, were rewarded with an 8-seed, and will face 9-seed Wichita State in the West region. Eight-seeds would tend to go to teams ranked between 29 and 32, so Pitt's #20 ranking got do...