The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Over the past couple of days, I've had some fun with the trending hashtags #SageSteele, #ExecutiveFastFoodOrders, and #AlternateJobsForClowns on Twitter. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki): 1) Apparently President... #AlternateJobsForClowns 814 Likes, 326 Retweets 2) Trump: "I'd like a large order of your Freedom for Only Rich Straight White Christian Males Fries." #ExecutiveFastFoodOrders 349 Likes, 109 Retweets 3) "Yeah, yeah, yeah, your rights are in jeopardy, but let's talk about real problems - I had to carry my own luggage!" #SageSteele 179 Likes, 80 Retweets 4) Trump: "Just give me one of these. Make sure it's like really really bigly, okay?!?" #ExecutiveFastFoodOrders 131 Likes, 35 Retweets 5) Trump: "Just give me something that's like really low on alternative calories." #ExecutiveFastFoodOrder...

I'm not a big fan of fast food. Perhaps it's because when I was in college, I ate the stuff every day and my weight and overall well-being suffered as a consequence. After learning how to moderate my consumption of such food and losing 45 lbs., however, I will get a craving for it every now and again (once a month) - usually in the form of Culver's. Upon seeing the recent KFC ads for their new Hot Shot Bites dish, though, I suddenly had an urge to give that a gander. If there's one thing I love, it's spicy food, and after reading a couple of reviews on the dish which laid claim that it was by far and away the spiciest meal on the KFC menu, that finally pushed me over the edge to get my monthly fast-food meal. After trying the Hot Shot Bites, I'd have to say for a fast food meal, it's pretty darn good as well as quite spicy. No, I don't have a craving for it every day now or anything. I only get that with Indian food. However, the one or two times a mon...

So, celebrity chef Paula Deen recently got fired due to some racist commentary from her past. However, my question is, how in the world was this woman a chef for shows on The Food Network from 1999 to 2013? The woman got diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 2008 - likely a result of consuming so much of her own food. Heck, when just looking at some of her recipes, I feel I may now be diabetic as well. It's no wonder this country is getting to be so obese - we are airing chefs like Paula Deen to show us what's "good" in the belly, and good for extending that belly. There's even an article titled, "Five Paula Deen recipes that could give you diabetes." These dishes are: Gooey Butter, Cake, Paula Deen's Fried Butter Balls, Skillet Fried Apple Pie, Wilmington Island Marsh Mud Cake, and Mom's Bacon Dressing. A writer at Business Insider wrote an article entitled, "The 10 Most Disgusting Things Paula Deen Has Ever Put In Her Mouth," and li...

I honestly never saw myself becoming the person I am today, especially when it comes to how I'm now often times repulsed by others' poor eating and drinking habits. Perhaps it's largely due to the fact that I used have horrendous eating and drinking habits 5+ years ago. About 10 years ago, I drank a great quantity of soda. Following some cavities due to that great soda consumption, I switched to Gatorade and that wasn't much better. I also ate fast food on a very regular basis, wasn't coy about eating junk food, yet naively enough, I felt so long as I exercised regularly, I could help off-set all those calories and get into better shape as a result. My naivete was, of course, wrong. I was lucky to break even on the scale in a given week, and would often times add a pound or two. Nowadays, while my eating and drinking habits are by no means perfect, I've learned that one's diet is the most important ingredient to being healthy and staying in shape (or get...

I'm humored by many fast-food commercials' main actors being thin. It's as if they're trying to say, "Eat all this fast-food and you'll be fit and happy just like these people!" While we're at it, why not start airing Harvard University commercials where it showcases a bunch of high and drunk students in class? It would go something like this: Kobayashi: "Dude, where are we?" Keyser: "At Harvard , man!" Kobayashi: "We got accepted? I was totally trippin' when I took that ABT test thingy." Keyser: "You mean the SAC?" Kobayashi: "For sure!" Keyser: "I did some weed just before taking the tests." Kobayashi: "But you don't even smoke..." Keyser: "I was just around it, you know? I could feel it..." Kobayashi: "Far out." "Harvard University - No matter how high you are, we'll be higher. Apply today!"