The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

A recent New York Times report let it be known that Ben Carson's foreign policy adviser, Duane Clarridge, thinks the GOP candidate knows less about foreign policy than an elephant knows about frequent-flier miles. In hilarious fashion, Mr. Carson attempted to refute Clarridge's claims by saying the following in an interview with PBS NewsHour on Tuesday night: "[Calling Mr. Clarridge an adviser] would be a great stretch. He is a person who has come in on a couple of our sessions to offer his opinions about what was going on..." So Duane Clarridge was offering Ben Carson some words of advice. In other words, he was an an adviser to the GOP hopeful. Alex Trebek: "...and the answer is, 'One who gives advice.' Yes, Mr. Carson..." Ben Carson: "What is a person who has come in on a couple of our sessions to offer his opinions about what was going on?" Trebek: "Yes, and what is the word we're looking for here?" Carson: ...

After receiving heated criticism due to his foreign policy adviser, Duane Clarridge, claiming the former neurosurgeon knew less about the Middle East than a puppy knows about calculus, Ben Carson outlined a new strategy in an attempt to quiet his detractors. When I caught up with the GOP candidate and asked for him to elaborate on the matter, this is what he said: "The Middle East is a very dangerous part of this country and we need to do everything in our power to remove its belt buckle, stab it several times, and make sure it does no further harm on our people. In order to do this and bring peace within the region, we need to go after two main groups: the radical Quakers and the Amish extremists. These terrorists reside all throughout the Middle East portion of the United States, from Pennsylvania to somewhere south of there, like maybe Maine or Hawaii. Once we root out the masterminds of these two terrorist groups, you know, the head Quakers and Amishites, we can again feel...

Ben Carson may be brilliant when it comes to neurosurgery, but as one of the two GOP front-runners recently said himself, the man appears to suffer from a "suspension of intellect" when it comes to many other topics. One of his very own advisers brought this further to light in a recent New York Times article. When speaking to reporter Trip Gabriel, Carson's foreign policy adviser, Duane Clarridge, said this with regard to one of the GOP candidate's shortcomings: "Nobody has been able to sit down with him and have him get one iota of intelligent information about the Middle East." That's right; the man polling either first or second in most GOP polls, potentially representing the party seemingly obsessed with being at permanent war with "radical Muslims" in the Middle East, apparently knows less about that region of the world than a newborn knows about quantum physics. GOP: "Our #1 priority shouldn't be creating jobs, nor with ...