The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

The third and (thankfully) final installment of the Fifty Shades of Grey  series, Fifty Shades Freed , is out. To this point, critics have felt about the same about the three films as they have about the books on which they're based. Fifty Shades Freed  currently has an 11% approval rating on RottenTomatoes.com . Here are some of my favorite review headlines: - "There are unintentional laughs in the plodding, clunky story, but the biggest laugh is the one this series has had on the audience for three movies." - Adam Graham ( Detroit News ) - "If Christian Grey was ugly and worked at McDonald's he'd be either arrested or on an FBI watchlist." - Robert Kojder ( Flickering Myth ) - "I'm not certain if Fifty Shades Freed is marginally better than its predecessors, or if I've just grown accustomed to the awfulness of the franchise." - Christopher Lawrence ( Las Vegas Review-Journal ) - "Lazy, vapid, unsexy, mind-numbing and poor...

It appears as though Sherwin-Williams employees have stormed out of theaters all across the country after discovering that the film Fifty Shades of Grey isn't a documentary about paint. When asked about this, Chairman and CEO of the company, Christopher M. Connor, said, "I saw part of the movie before I headed toward the exits. All I can say is that's one f**ked up shade of grey!" It has yet to be determined if the company will file lawsuits for false advertising, emotional stress, traumatic brain injury, and/or giving the color grey a bad name. If such lawsuits are filed, they'll likely request that the book and film be retitled as, Fifty Shades of F**ked Up .

I love the world of arts and entertainment. I'm kind of a film and music buff, enjoy classic sitcoms (and a few current ones), love to sit down and enjoy a good book, and will even go to a comedy club, play, or art museum on occasion. Outside of college football, the band Muse, and Indian food, laughter and thought-provocation are two of my favorite things. Some may think of me as snobbish when it comes to my tastes, but I tend to disagree, for I don't know too many artsy fartsy "snobs" whom are uncoy about listening to and knowing all the words to several one-hit wonders from the '80s. Having said all that, though, I honestly don't understand the Fifty Shades Of Grey  hype and am quite troubled by it. As I anticipated, the film has received poor ratings (just 26% of critics have given it positive ratings to this point according to RottenTomatoes.com), but sadly, as I also anticipated, it's done very well at the box office, even going so far as to break ...

As long-time readers likely know by now, I'm not a fan of the Fifty Shades of Grey series. Not only do I find the quality of writing to be at about a high school of a C-student (that may be too generous), but the actual content of the writing I feel is degrading to women on multiple fronts. As studies have shown, the Fifty Shades of Grey series does a very poor job of depicting a consensual BDSM relationship. What it does do is depict an abusive relationship. Yes, there is a stark difference between the two and as many consenting BDSM partners have adamantly declared, it's appeared as though author E.L. James is unaware of that very difference. Given all this, it seems pretty safe to say I was thrilled to hear that the series was going to be hitting the big-screen, the first of which will be opening this Valentine's Day weekend! I know, what spells romance more than an abusive and controlling man? If I were a woman, I'd, as E.L. James may put it, bite my lip, raise my...

When it comes to the odd mix of commercial success and negative reviews, Fifty Shades of Grey is like an Adam Sandler comedy. While critics may claim it's the worst film of the year, it does well at the box office. For example, the 2013 film Grown Ups 2 earned almost $134 million at the box office, while being approved by just 7% of critics. From that perspective, Fifty Shades... isn't much different. To this point, the series has sold over 70 million copies worldwide, all while receiving negative reviews like Seattle receives rain. Here are just some such quotes: Sir Salman Rushdie: "I've never read anything so badly written that got published. It made 'Twilight' look like 'War and Peace.'" Maureen Dowd ( The New York Times ): "[It was] like a Bronte devoid of talent," and "[It was] dull and poorly written." Jesse Kornbluth ( The Huffington Post ): "As a reading experience, Fifty Shades... is a sad joke, puny of plot...