The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I rarely spend any time researching celebrities' personal lives or opinions. It's not like I watch an Alfred Hitchcock-directed film because I agreed with his stance on capital punishment or I listen to a new Green Day album because I read somewhere that the band enjoys Indian food as much as I do. I just simply try to appreciate celebrities for their talents and not look much deeper than that. Occasionally there are times, however, where a celebrity makes a statement so outrageous, I feel the need to make note of it while I try to not roll my eyes so far back I need to be taken to Linda Blair's doctor to situate them properly again. Actor Vince Vaughn provided such a moment for me today, and yes, my eyes are fine. When talking to GQ magazine, the star of films such as:  Wedding Crashers , Swingers , Dodgeball , Couples Retreat , and Fred Claus , said this: "Of course. You think the politicians that run my country and your country don't have guns in the schools...

Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Comes Out Against Coming Out (from pages 96-99 of the book The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s: Volume 2 - The Wisecracks Continue ... #'s in parentheses indicate footnotes) While I've never personally watched the show, I think I hear more people talk about the "reality" show Duck Dynasty than I hear them talk about anything else, including their own kids. Well, based on some remarks made by star of the show Phil Robertson to GQ magazine, it appears as if a few regular viewers may opt to start watching something else instead. In the interview, Robertson made the following statements: - [When] "everything is blurred on what's right and what's wrong ... sin becomes fine." (90) - "Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there - bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men." (91) - "Don't be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the ma...

While I've never personally watched the show, I think I hear more people talk about the "reality" show Duck Dynasty than I hear them talk about anything else, including their kids. Well, based on recent remarks made by star of the show Phil Robertson to GQ magazine, it appears as if some regular viewers may opt to start watching something else instead. In the interview, Robertson made the following statements: - [When] "everything is blurred on what's right and what's wrong ... sin becomes fine." - "Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there - bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men." - "Don't be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers - they won't inherit the kingdom of God. Don't deceive yourself. It's not right." - "It seems...

In a past issue of GQ Magazine, former pastor, Ted Haggard, said the following, "Here's where I really am on this issue. I think that probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual." When writer Kevin Roose then asked him, "So why not now?", Haggard responded with, "Because, Kevin, I'm 54, with children, with a belief system, and I can have enforced boundaries in my life. Just like you're a heterosexual but you don't have sex with every woman that you're attracted to, so I can be who I am and exclusively have sex with my wife and be perfectly satisfied." "Exclusively" have sex with his wife? Since when? That wasn't always the case, was it? Hm? Mr. Haggard linguistically exaggerates with his response to Roose's question. As it states above, Haggard said, "Just like you're a heterosexual but you don't have sex with every woman that you're attracted to, so I can be w...