The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

It appears as if an on-and-off-again friendship of 20 years is officially over for me. Through his alcoholism, drug problems, and all the other issues he's had to deal with through the years, I was that friend who didn't leave his side. I had known him for so long and got to see a side to him that most everyone else hadn't. Through this, I saw hope, a light, a decent human being at his core. However, after some monstrous bumps in the road the past few years, with us slowly drifting apart as a result, what occurred in the past 12 hours was the final straw. The guy has always had an angry side to him, but having observed how he is around his daughter, I saw that kind, loving, nurturing side as well, and this kept that hope in me alive. That hope started subsiding four months ago when I altered my relationship status on Facebook. After he saw that my girlfriend was of a darker skin tone than either he or I, he sent me a lengthy e-mail, telling me how "disappointed"...

No, I'm not getting married, not yet anyway. I JUST read this article about the tradition of asking a woman's father for permission to marry his daughter. The gist of the article was to see if that very tradition has lost some steam through the years. Now, I admit, I'm not much of a traditionalist. I think some traditions are grand for the simple fact that they can bring families together, but at the end of the day, I think many of them are, for lack of a better word, silly. Given that, I got to thinking about the tradition of a man asking his father-in-law to be for permission to marry his daughter and yes, I'm going to say it - I think it's stupid. Mark it down. Quote me. Fathers of single daughters between the ages of 21 and 41, blacklist me. I'll give you some time. Given how old many of you are, I suppose I'll continue with this piece. The telegraphs should arrive at some point in the future. Okay, before you bash me for being disrespectful to a wom...

1) If my daughter gets sick, what will you do to ensure she has a quick recovery? A) Whatever the doctor says B) Give her a call button and tell her that she can use it at any time C) Do all the work she would have done had she been feeling well D) Hand her a trash can, recipe book, a Cosmo Magazine and $5 as you walk out the door saying, “I’ll see you in a week after I return from Vegas with my other b*tches” 2) What would you do to treat my daughter to a romantic evening? A) Dinner and a movie (chick flick) B) Make her a candlelight dinner C) Recite poems you’ve written for her by the fireplace D) Get drunk, take her to a strip club and continually point to her and shout out, “Give her a $20! She’s better than these other ones! Give her a $20 and see what she can do!” 3) What is your favorite physical feature of my daughter? A) Her smile B) Her legs C) Her hair D) Her big beautiful 34D eyes 4) Where would you take my daughter for your honeymoon? A) Hawaii B) Paris...