The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

While waiting for a table at "Hot Fajitas and Chicas," I was lucky enough to bump into Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, and asked him how he was celebrating Cinco de Mayo, to which he replied: "I'm gonna make 'Hot Fajitas and Chicas' great again, mark my word. What I'm going to do is have Mexicans build me a big beautiful margarita and then make them pay for it. It's gonna be yuuuge, believe me. If they don't like it, they can count on making me a margarita that's 5 inches bigger." When asking the business mogul how he was going to accomplish this, he said: "I'm just gonna do it. Consider it done. It's gonna be tremendous, bigly tremendous, so bigly tremendously unbelievable, you won't be able to believe it, that I can promise you." Once Trump was seated, I asked a Mexican-American employee, Maria Virginia, what she thought about the billionaire's idea, to which she responded: "No f**k...

A week ago tomorrow was Cinco de Mayo, which has become, like The Nightly Show host Larry Wilmore put it, "The Mexican version of St. Paddy's Day." I joined my mother at a Mexican restaurant where we both consumed one margarita a piece (I know, we were getting crazy). Afterward, I discussed the restaurant and holiday with someone, whom responded by saying, "Aren't margaritas girly drinks?" I kind of laughed at this question at first, because when thinking back to everyone ordering margaritas at the restaurant, I thought to myself, "I saw anyone and everyone, from 21-year-old college girls to 80-year-old men, from women under 5 feet tall to men close to 7 feet tall and 350 lbs. drinking these things." Not really caring what people thought of men drinking margaritas, but still curious on if they were commonly thought of as "girly" drinks, I did some research on the matter and sadly discovered that a number of people do believe such a thing....