A week ago tomorrow was Cinco de Mayo, which has become, like The Nightly Show host Larry Wilmore put it, "The Mexican version of St. Paddy's Day." I joined my mother at a Mexican restaurant where we both consumed one margarita a piece (I know, we were getting crazy). Afterward, I discussed the restaurant and holiday with someone, whom responded by saying, "Aren't margaritas girly drinks?" I kind of laughed at this question at first, because when thinking back to everyone ordering margaritas at the restaurant, I thought to myself, "I saw anyone and everyone, from 21-year-old college girls to 80-year-old men, from women under 5 feet tall to men close to 7 feet tall and 350 lbs. drinking these things." Not really caring what people thought of men drinking margaritas, but still curious on if they were commonly thought of as "girly" drinks, I did some research on the matter and sadly discovered that a number of people do believe such a thing. I even read some women say, "If I see a guy with a tropical, fruity looking drink, with an umbrella in his glass, or drinking from a straw, I'm not going to talk to him, because real men just don't do that."
I often times pause when I hear a person describe another using the term "real," because it then makes me wonder if this is due a shortcoming elsewhere or an overall level of phoniness. When I hear Tea Partiers describe others as "real" Americans, I immediately want to venture to the nearest bookstore and ask for the how-to book on being a so-called "real" American. I apparently never got that manual. I guess the same can be said of being a "real" man. I guess not fighting, not looking for fights, not enjoying pissing contests with fellow males, not hitting on women with perverted pick-up lines, not keeping a tally-board of women I've slept with, not liking beer, not enjoying boxing or ultimate fighting, not liking porn, not liking (shooting) guns, and not making grunting noises when an attractive woman walks by means I'm not a "real" man. Once again, whenever I hear such descriptions of men, I have to ask, "Okay, where's this manual and is there a Cliff's Notes version of it? Please?" Also, when it comes to alcohol, who really cares? Is there a guide which shows a seemingly never-ending spectrum of drinks from the most feminine to the most masculine? Who determined these rankings and what formula was used to establish them?
Do some women seriously have the following discussion?
Joanna Hornball: "That guy over there is pretty cute, don't you think? Should I go over and talk to him?"
Melissa Kumkwat: "Yeah he is and yeah you shouuuu... Wait a minute, what's he drinking? Is that a straw? ...and do I see an umbrella? Whoa..."
Joanna: "Oh, yeah, you're right. Nevermind... Why do guys do that? What makes them think they can get away with going to a bar and drinking something like that? What the hell?"
Melissa: "I know, right? I mean, sure he might be a nice guy, funny, well educated, have a great job, and all of that, but I'm sorry, if a guy drinks booze from a straw, that's where we have to draw the line. There are such things as standards still."
Joanna: "Amen, sister! Oh, see that nasty homeless looking guy with a bucket of beer? I'm so going over there to talk to him!"
Melissa: "Go for it, girl! That's a real man right there!"
In all seriousness, though, who cares? If a woman wants to drink a beer or some whiskey, who cares? If a man wants to drink a margarita or pina colada, who cares? If a person would rather drink Snapple than alcohol, again, who cares? We all have different tastes and likes, and just because a person enjoys drinking something that may typically be consumed by the opposite sex doesn't mean he or she should be thought of any differently. Growing up, I was always taught to treat others the way I'd like to be treated; to be especially kind to elders, children, and animals (pets); to not treat women like objects; to only fight as a last resort (or in self-defense/protecting a loved one); that it takes a stronger person to walk away from a potentially risky and stupid situation; and to not judge people before actually getting to know them. If that doesn't make me a "real" man, then so be it; I don't want to be one.
I often times pause when I hear a person describe another using the term "real," because it then makes me wonder if this is due a shortcoming elsewhere or an overall level of phoniness. When I hear Tea Partiers describe others as "real" Americans, I immediately want to venture to the nearest bookstore and ask for the how-to book on being a so-called "real" American. I apparently never got that manual. I guess the same can be said of being a "real" man. I guess not fighting, not looking for fights, not enjoying pissing contests with fellow males, not hitting on women with perverted pick-up lines, not keeping a tally-board of women I've slept with, not liking beer, not enjoying boxing or ultimate fighting, not liking porn, not liking (shooting) guns, and not making grunting noises when an attractive woman walks by means I'm not a "real" man. Once again, whenever I hear such descriptions of men, I have to ask, "Okay, where's this manual and is there a Cliff's Notes version of it? Please?" Also, when it comes to alcohol, who really cares? Is there a guide which shows a seemingly never-ending spectrum of drinks from the most feminine to the most masculine? Who determined these rankings and what formula was used to establish them?
Do some women seriously have the following discussion?
Joanna Hornball: "That guy over there is pretty cute, don't you think? Should I go over and talk to him?"
Melissa Kumkwat: "Yeah he is and yeah you shouuuu... Wait a minute, what's he drinking? Is that a straw? ...and do I see an umbrella? Whoa..."
Joanna: "Oh, yeah, you're right. Nevermind... Why do guys do that? What makes them think they can get away with going to a bar and drinking something like that? What the hell?"
Melissa: "I know, right? I mean, sure he might be a nice guy, funny, well educated, have a great job, and all of that, but I'm sorry, if a guy drinks booze from a straw, that's where we have to draw the line. There are such things as standards still."
Joanna: "Amen, sister! Oh, see that nasty homeless looking guy with a bucket of beer? I'm so going over there to talk to him!"
Melissa: "Go for it, girl! That's a real man right there!"
In all seriousness, though, who cares? If a woman wants to drink a beer or some whiskey, who cares? If a man wants to drink a margarita or pina colada, who cares? If a person would rather drink Snapple than alcohol, again, who cares? We all have different tastes and likes, and just because a person enjoys drinking something that may typically be consumed by the opposite sex doesn't mean he or she should be thought of any differently. Growing up, I was always taught to treat others the way I'd like to be treated; to be especially kind to elders, children, and animals (pets); to not treat women like objects; to only fight as a last resort (or in self-defense/protecting a loved one); that it takes a stronger person to walk away from a potentially risky and stupid situation; and to not judge people before actually getting to know them. If that doesn't make me a "real" man, then so be it; I don't want to be one.
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