What I learned in Week 14 of the NFL season

In Week 14 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ..., following his handshake with former assistant Mike Vrabel, the phrase "resting bitch face" will now be known as "resting Urban face."

- ...Kyler Murray is in love, for from the first to the last play of the game on Monday night, he was falling for Aaron Donald.

- ..., according to Cris Collinsworth, Aaron Rodgers is the most honest person of the year. With that kind of rationale, Cris Collinsworth has been named the sexiest person of the year.

- ...Cam Newton is like "The Sixth Sense" of quarterbacks. He's good the first time, but quickly loses his appeal the second go-round, and this time, Haley Joel Osment sees old people.

- ...COVID is so bad, Aaron Rodgers is being called upon to be everyone's team doctor.

- ..., as OBJ did his touchdown dance celebration, it's been reported that 4 out of every 5 cops watching the game drew their weapons, as they thought an unarmed black man had just armed himself with something resembling a firearm - a football.

- ..., when facing Dalvin Cook, Pittsburgh's defense becomes the Phantom Curtain.

- ...the fat lady never sings so long as Kirk Cousins has balls in his hands.

- ..., when a defender nearly decapitates Matthew Stafford with a face-mask and then looks in the quarterback's direction for more than 1 Mississippi, he'll only get flagged for looking at the person he nearly decapitated, because you know, player safety.

- ...the Dallas Cowboys' near epic collapse against Washington almost resulted in WFT defeating WTF.