Just recently, I got into a conversation regarding pornography. I've personally never been into the genre, so I've never held a strong opinion on it one way or the other. Based on the discussion I had, however, I began doing some research on the matter, because there appears to be wildly differing opinions on whether or not viewing pornography constitutes as cheating when a person is involved in a serious relationship. Also, there often times appears to be an assumption by some women that "all" men regularly watch pornography, so it simply has to be accepted by whomever they're with.
Through this research, I found that the consensus amongst professionals (shrinks and the like) was that while viewing pornography in isolation doesn't necessarily constitute as cheating, it can definitely be construed as cheating when other factors are taken into account. Amongst commentators of these articles, it appears as if a solid majority of them don't feel pornography can ever be constituted as cheating.
Following my research and pondering about matters, I think I'm in agreement with the before-mentioned professionals. There are many shades of grey when it comes to pornography and whether or not it constitutes as cheating. When examining each case individually, I think a person (who is involved in a serious relationship and watches porn) needs to ask themselves these questions:
1) Does your partner know about you watching porn?
2) If so, does he/she accept it?
3) Does watching porn detract from your sex life with the person?
4) Do you feel guilty at all when viewing porn (or afterward)?
5) How would you feel if you caught your partner doing the same thing?
If a person is hiding something from their partner, chances are they know what they're doing is wrong, and it could be constituted as cheating in one manner or another (either sexually or just from an honesty perspective). This is especially the case if this person admitted to the other that they watched porn, were told to never watch it again, and do so anyway. The partner, in this case, would have made it clearly known that he/she felt like they were being cheated on and if they ever caught the other again, things would be over between the two of them due to that. If porn detracts from the couple's level of physical intimacy, then this too could be construed as cheating. From a sexual perspective, one person would be more invested in their videos than their actual partner, and the relationship would inevitably suffer the consequences in multiple ways. Lastly, if one feels guilty when partaking in something, then once again, chances are what they're doing is wrong, and their actions could be viewed as disloyal.
With so many shades of grey surrounding the issue, however, opinions will likely vary from person to person, and it may be critical to find a potential mate with whom your beliefs on the matter line up, so there's less chance of misunderstandings regarding it.
As far as the assumption by some that all men regularly view pornography, this is simply not true. An American Demographics survey showcased that 14% of men admitted to regularly looking at pornography (or visiting strip clubs) and 30% of men claimed to occasionally do so. In other words, according to this survey, 56% of men don't view pornography. Even if those numbers are off some, it still does away with the notion that "all" men view pornography.
Whether or not a guy views pornography and is involved in a relationship, it all comes down to communication and understanding. If the guy is open about viewing the adult material and the woman he's with is fine with that fact, then so be it. However, if he's hiding this information and/or the two are on different pages as far as pornography is concerned, chances are it will cause some problems in both the short- and long-term. Do all men watch it? No. Is it cheating? That honestly depends on who you're asking and how they define the word. Yes, under the term "relationship" in the dictionary should be a one-word definition - "complicated."
http://www.citizenlink.com/2012/01/27/all-men-look-at-pornography-right/
Through this research, I found that the consensus amongst professionals (shrinks and the like) was that while viewing pornography in isolation doesn't necessarily constitute as cheating, it can definitely be construed as cheating when other factors are taken into account. Amongst commentators of these articles, it appears as if a solid majority of them don't feel pornography can ever be constituted as cheating.
Following my research and pondering about matters, I think I'm in agreement with the before-mentioned professionals. There are many shades of grey when it comes to pornography and whether or not it constitutes as cheating. When examining each case individually, I think a person (who is involved in a serious relationship and watches porn) needs to ask themselves these questions:
1) Does your partner know about you watching porn?
2) If so, does he/she accept it?
3) Does watching porn detract from your sex life with the person?
4) Do you feel guilty at all when viewing porn (or afterward)?
5) How would you feel if you caught your partner doing the same thing?
If a person is hiding something from their partner, chances are they know what they're doing is wrong, and it could be constituted as cheating in one manner or another (either sexually or just from an honesty perspective). This is especially the case if this person admitted to the other that they watched porn, were told to never watch it again, and do so anyway. The partner, in this case, would have made it clearly known that he/she felt like they were being cheated on and if they ever caught the other again, things would be over between the two of them due to that. If porn detracts from the couple's level of physical intimacy, then this too could be construed as cheating. From a sexual perspective, one person would be more invested in their videos than their actual partner, and the relationship would inevitably suffer the consequences in multiple ways. Lastly, if one feels guilty when partaking in something, then once again, chances are what they're doing is wrong, and their actions could be viewed as disloyal.
With so many shades of grey surrounding the issue, however, opinions will likely vary from person to person, and it may be critical to find a potential mate with whom your beliefs on the matter line up, so there's less chance of misunderstandings regarding it.
As far as the assumption by some that all men regularly view pornography, this is simply not true. An American Demographics survey showcased that 14% of men admitted to regularly looking at pornography (or visiting strip clubs) and 30% of men claimed to occasionally do so. In other words, according to this survey, 56% of men don't view pornography. Even if those numbers are off some, it still does away with the notion that "all" men view pornography.
Whether or not a guy views pornography and is involved in a relationship, it all comes down to communication and understanding. If the guy is open about viewing the adult material and the woman he's with is fine with that fact, then so be it. However, if he's hiding this information and/or the two are on different pages as far as pornography is concerned, chances are it will cause some problems in both the short- and long-term. Do all men watch it? No. Is it cheating? That honestly depends on who you're asking and how they define the word. Yes, under the term "relationship" in the dictionary should be a one-word definition - "complicated."
http://www.citizenlink.com/2012/01/27/all-men-look-at-pornography-right/
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