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What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL season

What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL season

In Week 2 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...it'll soon be easier to find Jimmy Hoffa than a healthy starting quarterback in the NFC.

- ..., if you're Aaron Rodgers, 42 is not the new 38.

- ...the only chance the Browns have of making the postseason is if they're placed under a weather-delay from now until January. 

- ..., if you think you can or think you can't, you're probably right, unless you're the Titans or Jets - then odds are you probably can't.

- ...Jim Harbaugh's team appears less Charged than a comatose sloth, nicknamed Prozac.

- ...Jayden Daniels and Jaxson Dart once arm-wrestled; both were carried off on stretchers with ruptured Achilles'.

- ..., as the Atlanta Falcons have proved, the 4th quarterback isn't the charm.

- ...those most susceptible to heart attacks are: the old, the fat, and the 2026-2027 New Orleans Saints fans.

- ...the Lions secondary has more holes in it than a sponge after target practice.

- ...the Vikings defense should be nicknamed The Rushing Ramsays, for they make every quarterback an idiot sandwich.
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