As most of the country (and world) should know by now, if there's one person a Republican politician shouldn't mirror as far as speech-giving goes, it's former President George W. Bush. The guy has had more jokes told about his speech-gaffes than Snoop Dogg has smoked joints. Well, Mitt Romney recently attempted to go against that common wisdom and become one with his innermost Bush while speaking at the CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) this past Friday.
On February 4th of 2005, when speaking to a divorced mother of three in Omaha, Nebraska, former President Bush said this - "You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that."
Yes, I cringed while reading that also...
As noted, Romney gave his best Bush impersonation by saying the following at CPAC on Friday:
"Single moms who are working two jobs so their kids can have the same kind of [things] other kids at school have. Dads who don't know what a weekend is because they've taken on so many jobs to make sure they can keep the house. We're a patriotic people. The heart of America is good."
Romney is something else. Here is a guy who made $42 million in 2010 and 2011, paid only 14% in taxes, all while labeling himself as unemployed. Yet, he has the gall to praise single moms working two jobs and dads whom work so much they don't know what weekends are anymore, refer to them as "patriotic," and close matters by saying, "The heart of America is good."? Ironically enough, many of the people he's praising as "patriotic" with these comments he pretty much called worthless with his 47% commentary. How this guy got so close to becoming president is beyond me.
I'll now be anxious to see if Romney continues his George W. Bush comedy tour. Being as awkward as he is, I'll now attempt to envision just how he would re-phrase a few (in)famous Bush quotes.
Bush quote: "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
Romney's re-phrasing of the quote: "Hanukkah is a holiday celebrated by Jews. The Jews are a wonderful people. Osama bin Laden is not Jewish and is not a wonderful person. Therefore, Hanukkah is not likely a holiday which the evil, non-Jewish bin Laden would ever celebrate. However, if I were Jewish and named Osama bin Laden, I would celebrate Hanukkah like the wonderful person that I am. You're welcome, Jews."
Bush quote: "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right."
Romney's re-phrasing of the quote: "I once knew what I believed. I believed what I believed was right. What I believe now is not what I believed then, at least I don't believe it is. I believe what I believe now is that I don't know what I believe, yet have been instructed to not believe what I did believe, I believe.."
Bush quote: "Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
Romney's re-phrasing of the quote: "I'm here to stand up for gynecologists in this country. Male gynecologists shouldn't have to fear malpractice lawsuits when doing what they do. Male gynecologists should be able to look at the hole between a woman's legs and love that hole without any problem. I love the hole between my wife's legs and she only filed a couple lawsuits against me in all our years of marriage."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/15/mitt-romney-george-w-bush_n_2885077.html
http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/georgewbush/a/top10bushisms.htm
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/OTUS/mitt-romney-made-42-million-paid-14-percent/story?id=15423615
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/bushquotes/a/dumbbushquotes.htm
On February 4th of 2005, when speaking to a divorced mother of three in Omaha, Nebraska, former President Bush said this - "You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that."
Yes, I cringed while reading that also...
As noted, Romney gave his best Bush impersonation by saying the following at CPAC on Friday:
"Single moms who are working two jobs so their kids can have the same kind of [things] other kids at school have. Dads who don't know what a weekend is because they've taken on so many jobs to make sure they can keep the house. We're a patriotic people. The heart of America is good."
Romney is something else. Here is a guy who made $42 million in 2010 and 2011, paid only 14% in taxes, all while labeling himself as unemployed. Yet, he has the gall to praise single moms working two jobs and dads whom work so much they don't know what weekends are anymore, refer to them as "patriotic," and close matters by saying, "The heart of America is good."? Ironically enough, many of the people he's praising as "patriotic" with these comments he pretty much called worthless with his 47% commentary. How this guy got so close to becoming president is beyond me.
I'll now be anxious to see if Romney continues his George W. Bush comedy tour. Being as awkward as he is, I'll now attempt to envision just how he would re-phrase a few (in)famous Bush quotes.
Bush quote: "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
Romney's re-phrasing of the quote: "Hanukkah is a holiday celebrated by Jews. The Jews are a wonderful people. Osama bin Laden is not Jewish and is not a wonderful person. Therefore, Hanukkah is not likely a holiday which the evil, non-Jewish bin Laden would ever celebrate. However, if I were Jewish and named Osama bin Laden, I would celebrate Hanukkah like the wonderful person that I am. You're welcome, Jews."
Bush quote: "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right."
Romney's re-phrasing of the quote: "I once knew what I believed. I believed what I believed was right. What I believe now is not what I believed then, at least I don't believe it is. I believe what I believe now is that I don't know what I believe, yet have been instructed to not believe what I did believe, I believe.."
Bush quote: "Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
Romney's re-phrasing of the quote: "I'm here to stand up for gynecologists in this country. Male gynecologists shouldn't have to fear malpractice lawsuits when doing what they do. Male gynecologists should be able to look at the hole between a woman's legs and love that hole without any problem. I love the hole between my wife's legs and she only filed a couple lawsuits against me in all our years of marriage."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/15/mitt-romney-george-w-bush_n_2885077.html
http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/georgewbush/a/top10bushisms.htm
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/OTUS/mitt-romney-made-42-million-paid-14-percent/story?id=15423615
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/bushquotes/a/dumbbushquotes.htm
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