Even though approximately 90% of the public support universal background checks, including a large majority of gun owners, many Congressional Republicans are not convinced on the matter. The latest in this seemingly never-ending line of anti-background check Republicans is Utah Senator Mike Lee, who recently said the following on Fox News:
"[T]he concern with those is that background checks in and of themselves aren't going to work unless they are accompanied by some sort of registration system. [The American people] are not really comfortable with the idea of the government knowing exactly what firearm they purchase any more than they would be comfortable with the government knowing when or how often they go to church or what they eat for breakfast or what books they are reading from the library."
Senator Lee is absolutely right. I mean, what's the difference between a gun and a church, breakfast, or library books anyway? Nothing. I will now prove just how strikingly similar they are through some fictitious works.
Comparison: Guns to a church
Church-greeter Judas Priest: "Hey Joshua. How's it hanging? Oh, you took Viagra this morning? That's good. Stand up for the lord! Hey Debbie. How's college going? You're pregnant? Well, isn't that something? Who's the father? Your Bible-study leader? It's how God would have wanted it. Hey Suzie, Jacob, Bartholomew, Barbara... Excuse me... Sir? Are you new here? You are? Alright, well, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions before I allow you in here. Are you registered for this church? No? What is your church-crime record like? Wow - you have quite the record on you, don't you? Well, I'm sorry sir, but legally, I can't allow you in here. Jesus forgives you, though. Have a nice day."
Comparison: Guns to breakfast
News-anchor Brutus Brutislava: "Another tragedy struck Hicksville, New York today, as yet again, a masked man beat a woman to death with a box of Frosted Mini-Wheats. It was the fourth time this week that this very thing happened. Police believe it's the same man who committed all four murders, as on top of all four victims laid a Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal box with a note attached to it that said, 'There ain't nothing mini about that, b**ch!' Police still aren't sure what that means, but have a hunch that this man is killing women whom told him he possessed small genitalia. We'll be sure to keep all of you at home updated on this story as soon as we find out more information. Stay tuned!"
Comparison: Guns to library books
Police officer Frank Biggsby: "Put your hands up where I can see them! Hands up!"
Sheldon Pi: "For what? What did I do?"
Biggsby: "Oh, I see that! Drop your weapon! Drop it or I will shoot!"
Pi: "It's just a library book."
Biggsby: "Is it loaded? I'll ask again, is it loaded?"
Pi: "Loaded? With what?"
Biggsby: "What do you think, nimrod? Pages!"
Pi: "I suppose so..."
Biggsby: "That's what I thought! Drop it! Drop it now!"
Pi: "Okay..."
Biggsby: "You're under arrest! Don't you know it's against this state's laws to carry a loaded book in a library? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid or something? I hope this is just your first offense, buddy. If it's your second or especially third offense, you could be spending a lot of time in jail, where the only things you'll be reading are tattoos on guys' junk!"
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2013/03/29/1795631/senator-compares-background-checks-to-government-spying-on-what-americans-eat-for-breakfast/
"[T]he concern with those is that background checks in and of themselves aren't going to work unless they are accompanied by some sort of registration system. [The American people] are not really comfortable with the idea of the government knowing exactly what firearm they purchase any more than they would be comfortable with the government knowing when or how often they go to church or what they eat for breakfast or what books they are reading from the library."
Senator Lee is absolutely right. I mean, what's the difference between a gun and a church, breakfast, or library books anyway? Nothing. I will now prove just how strikingly similar they are through some fictitious works.
Comparison: Guns to a church
Church-greeter Judas Priest: "Hey Joshua. How's it hanging? Oh, you took Viagra this morning? That's good. Stand up for the lord! Hey Debbie. How's college going? You're pregnant? Well, isn't that something? Who's the father? Your Bible-study leader? It's how God would have wanted it. Hey Suzie, Jacob, Bartholomew, Barbara... Excuse me... Sir? Are you new here? You are? Alright, well, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions before I allow you in here. Are you registered for this church? No? What is your church-crime record like? Wow - you have quite the record on you, don't you? Well, I'm sorry sir, but legally, I can't allow you in here. Jesus forgives you, though. Have a nice day."
Comparison: Guns to breakfast
News-anchor Brutus Brutislava: "Another tragedy struck Hicksville, New York today, as yet again, a masked man beat a woman to death with a box of Frosted Mini-Wheats. It was the fourth time this week that this very thing happened. Police believe it's the same man who committed all four murders, as on top of all four victims laid a Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal box with a note attached to it that said, 'There ain't nothing mini about that, b**ch!' Police still aren't sure what that means, but have a hunch that this man is killing women whom told him he possessed small genitalia. We'll be sure to keep all of you at home updated on this story as soon as we find out more information. Stay tuned!"
Comparison: Guns to library books
Police officer Frank Biggsby: "Put your hands up where I can see them! Hands up!"
Sheldon Pi: "For what? What did I do?"
Biggsby: "Oh, I see that! Drop your weapon! Drop it or I will shoot!"
Pi: "It's just a library book."
Biggsby: "Is it loaded? I'll ask again, is it loaded?"
Pi: "Loaded? With what?"
Biggsby: "What do you think, nimrod? Pages!"
Pi: "I suppose so..."
Biggsby: "That's what I thought! Drop it! Drop it now!"
Pi: "Okay..."
Biggsby: "You're under arrest! Don't you know it's against this state's laws to carry a loaded book in a library? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid or something? I hope this is just your first offense, buddy. If it's your second or especially third offense, you could be spending a lot of time in jail, where the only things you'll be reading are tattoos on guys' junk!"
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2013/03/29/1795631/senator-compares-background-checks-to-government-spying-on-what-americans-eat-for-breakfast/
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