I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter.
I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some.
When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following:
"It's human nature to look."
"There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!"
"It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!"
"It's natural to find people attractive."
When observing the array of comments, I immediately think about semantics. Do some see "looking" and "checking out" as synonymous with one another, while others do not? How do these people define such terms? To me, there is a stark difference between the two. "Looking" is a fairly innocent act in my opinion. Wherever I go, I people-watch. If I'm at an airport, a bar, a restaurant, a mall, etc., I often times "look" at people, regardless of age, gender, or level of physical attractiveness. This isn't an act of lust or betrayal. It's simply an act of curiosity and fascination. "Checking out," meanwhile, means something completely different to me. "Checking out" constitutes a man or woman staring at and drooling over a member of the opposite sex he or she finds attractive. When I hear about a man "checking out" a woman, I typically visualize him eye-f**king her as Vince Vaughn's character words it in the film Wedding Crashers. Chances are he's staring at her backside, chest, pretty much everything from head to toe, and trying to work his magical mental powers by visualizing her naked, followed by some lovely fantasies. So, to me, while "looking" is innocent and void of any lust or betrayal, "checking out" is sexual and inappropriate if involved in a serious relationship.
Eyes are made for looking. If we don't look, what on earth do we do with them? Sight is a grand sense to possess and not to sound like the plastic bag obsessor from the film American Beauty, but it really is quite something to be able to observe all the beauty in this world. So, if a serious couple simply looks at members of the opposite sex, I don't see anything wrong with it. However, if either or both of them are "checking out" these same individuals, I really have to wonder how much longer the relationship is going to last, because if one longs for another physically or sexually, he/she obviously either isn't satisfied in the current relationship or is disloyal at his/her core.
I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some.
When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following:
"It's human nature to look."
"There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!"
"It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!"
"It's natural to find people attractive."
When observing the array of comments, I immediately think about semantics. Do some see "looking" and "checking out" as synonymous with one another, while others do not? How do these people define such terms? To me, there is a stark difference between the two. "Looking" is a fairly innocent act in my opinion. Wherever I go, I people-watch. If I'm at an airport, a bar, a restaurant, a mall, etc., I often times "look" at people, regardless of age, gender, or level of physical attractiveness. This isn't an act of lust or betrayal. It's simply an act of curiosity and fascination. "Checking out," meanwhile, means something completely different to me. "Checking out" constitutes a man or woman staring at and drooling over a member of the opposite sex he or she finds attractive. When I hear about a man "checking out" a woman, I typically visualize him eye-f**king her as Vince Vaughn's character words it in the film Wedding Crashers. Chances are he's staring at her backside, chest, pretty much everything from head to toe, and trying to work his magical mental powers by visualizing her naked, followed by some lovely fantasies. So, to me, while "looking" is innocent and void of any lust or betrayal, "checking out" is sexual and inappropriate if involved in a serious relationship.
Eyes are made for looking. If we don't look, what on earth do we do with them? Sight is a grand sense to possess and not to sound like the plastic bag obsessor from the film American Beauty, but it really is quite something to be able to observe all the beauty in this world. So, if a serious couple simply looks at members of the opposite sex, I don't see anything wrong with it. However, if either or both of them are "checking out" these same individuals, I really have to wonder how much longer the relationship is going to last, because if one longs for another physically or sexually, he/she obviously either isn't satisfied in the current relationship or is disloyal at his/her core.
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