The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

It's being reported that the 53-year old former American Idol judge and current X Factor judge - Simon Cowell - has impregnated Lauren Silverman, who happens to be married to Cowell's "close" friend, Andrew Silverman. Mr. Cowell, how would you judge that bit of news? "That was terrible, I mean just awful." Rumor has it that Cowell will be teaming up with Dick Cheney when they go on a We're-The-Best-Friends-A-Person-Could-Ever-Have Tour, where they'll take turns shooting friends in the face and sleeping with their wives. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/simon-cowell-baby_n_3681801.html http://www.angrysimon.com/simon_quotes.html

I think I'm done trying to predict the Republican nominee for the upcoming presidential election. Mitt Romney has been the steadiest according to polls. However, there has seemingly been an anti-Romney candidate getting hot with the pollsters to see if there can be any long-term traction with that candidate. We had Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich again, with Ron Paul probably being the second steadiest candidate in terms of poll numbers, next to Romney. Santorum won the Iowa Caucus, but has since faded into a distant 3rd, behind Romney and Gingrich. Romney won the New Hampshire Primary quite convincingly and it was said that if he won the South Carolina Primary, he'd likely be the Republican nominee. Newt Gingrich had other plans and beat Romney by 12%. Gingrich rode the hot streak nationally and in Florida, where the next primary is to be held. Romney went from a huge lead in the sunshine state to 5-10% deficit to ma...