I've always felt out of place when stepping into a Wal-Mart. At times, especially if it's late, the place has presented me with the vibe of a drunken trailer party. There's a 97-year old greeter at the door waving like the queen and trying to say hello. As I walk about the store, mullets, overalls and buckteeth appear to be back in style. I hear more southern accents within the first five minutes than I'd heard over the previous year combined. Yes, right as I walk into a Wal-Mart, I typically feel more out of place than a nun at an orgy.
For the first time in a while, a good friend of mine and I decided to take a late-night stroll in Wal-Mart. Neither of us care for the store, so we wanted to go late-night people-watching and have fun observing and poking fun at some items in the place. After walking around for approximately three hours, I have to say, Wal-Mart is a "different" kind of place.
Like guns? Bow and arrows? Axes? Machetes which cost $6.88? Then Wal-Mart is your place! Ever want to play a board game called Doggy Doo, where the goal is to get to the point where you can pick up dog poop? Wal-Mart sells that also! How about a vibrating Hallmark card intended for men? Step into Wal-Mart! Ever wondered what a soda pop called Dr. Thunder would taste like? You guessed it - go to Wal-Mart and find out for yourself!
I started feeling queasy during our three-hour stroll in Wally World. My friend began coughing. Oddly enough, not long after existing the place, my stomach began to feel better and she stopped coughing. I have since suggested that she and I were coming down with a case of Wal-Martitis. If I ever step into that place again, I'll be certain to wear gloves, a doctor's mask, kleenex and a gag bag. Strangely enough, even with that outfit, I'll feel like the most "normal" person there.
For the first time in a while, a good friend of mine and I decided to take a late-night stroll in Wal-Mart. Neither of us care for the store, so we wanted to go late-night people-watching and have fun observing and poking fun at some items in the place. After walking around for approximately three hours, I have to say, Wal-Mart is a "different" kind of place.
Like guns? Bow and arrows? Axes? Machetes which cost $6.88? Then Wal-Mart is your place! Ever want to play a board game called Doggy Doo, where the goal is to get to the point where you can pick up dog poop? Wal-Mart sells that also! How about a vibrating Hallmark card intended for men? Step into Wal-Mart! Ever wondered what a soda pop called Dr. Thunder would taste like? You guessed it - go to Wal-Mart and find out for yourself!
I started feeling queasy during our three-hour stroll in Wally World. My friend began coughing. Oddly enough, not long after existing the place, my stomach began to feel better and she stopped coughing. I have since suggested that she and I were coming down with a case of Wal-Martitis. If I ever step into that place again, I'll be certain to wear gloves, a doctor's mask, kleenex and a gag bag. Strangely enough, even with that outfit, I'll feel like the most "normal" person there.
Oh, I feel out of place looking at it. I have never heard so many Southern accents in all my life. Down in Cynthians, Ky, where I have family, the biggest thing there is a Walmart supercenter. Wow. And omg, I love to go people watching there too. So many mullets, rebel shirts, buck teeth, huntin' boots, I feel more like I'm at a Bass Pro Shops store, instead of Wal-mart.
ReplyDeletehaha. That's funny!
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