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The Trump-Netanyahu Phone Call

It's becoming quite clear this is how the conversation went between Trump and Netanyahu 3 weeks ago.

Netanyahu: "Greetings."
Trump: "Peace be with everyone."
Netanyahu: "Speaking of which, I want you to bomb Iran."
Trump: "I'd love to, but I'm the anti-war president."
Netanyahu: "Trust me, I'll make it worth your while."
Trump: "Like, what, more golden showers in Russia?"
Netanyahu: "Ew, no."
Trump: "Hey, don't knock it unless you've sprayed it, or tried it, or something."
Netanyahu: "If you bomb Iran..."
Trump: "I'll beat loser Biden in 2020?"
Netanyahu: "No."
Trump: "Well, I'm not gonna lie, that's disappointing."
Netanyahu: "If you bomb Iran..."
Trump: "Ivanka won't be my daughter anymore, so she can be wife #4."
Netanyahu: "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."
Trump: "Hear what?"
Netanyahu: "Exactly. Anyway, as I was saying..."
Trump: "That I want to bang my daughter?"
Netanyahu: "Ugh! Yuck! For the last time, let me finish!"
Trump: "Are you threatening me?"
Netanyahu: "Yes, what, no, why?"
Trump: "I was just going to say, you're lucky, oh so bigly lucky, I'm the most anti-war president in the history of the United Shtathes."
Netanyahu: "If you bomb Iran, I'll nominate you for the Nobel Peace Prize."
Trump: "Done. You see, that wasn't so hard, was it? I'm the greatest deal-maker in the history of deal thingies."
Netanyahu: "Yeah, sure, I gotta go and do something, anything - wash my hair. There, that's it."
Trump: "Thank you for your attention to this matter."

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