The Top Ten Findings in Trump's Physical Exam on Friday
10. The scale was said to be more liberally-biased than MSDNC.
9. Due to how he alleges the doctors looked at and admired him, he claims to have been contacted about making the new workout video, "Beer Belly Abs of Steel."
8. He has been diagnosed with a unique skin condition, called Cheetosis Fulgaris.
7. Hearing? Adequate, but can't listen for sh*t.
6. Manfred Mann reportedly sang, "He was blinded by the right, warped out like a douche."
5. His poop sample showed he's literally full of bullsh*t.
4. It was noted, on a couple of occasions, his hair squeaked and asked for some nuts.
3. Based on the distance he walked in 1 minute, it's estimated it'd take him 47 days to walk a mile.
2. 250/200 is, by far, the highest IQ recorded in presidential history.
1. (drumroll) All his sperm were deemed to have committed suicide long ago, however there is some speculation they were pushed out a window.
I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
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