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The Top Ten Findings in Trump's Physical Exam on Friday

The Top Ten Findings in Trump's Physical Exam on Friday
10. The scale was said to be more liberally-biased than MSDNC.
9. Due to how he alleges the doctors looked at and admired him, he claims to have been contacted about making the new workout video, "Beer Belly Abs of Steel."
8. He has been diagnosed with a unique skin condition, called Cheetosis Fulgaris.
7. Hearing? Adequate, but can't listen for sh*t.
6. Manfred Mann reportedly sang, "He was blinded by the right, warped out like a douche."
5. His poop sample showed he's literally full of bullsh*t.
4. It was noted, on a couple of occasions, his hair squeaked and asked for some nuts.
3. Based on the distance he walked in 1 minute, it's estimated it'd take him 47 days to walk a mile.
2. 250/200 is, by far, the highest IQ recorded in presidential history.
1. (drumroll) All his sperm were deemed to have committed suicide long ago, however there is some speculation they were pushed out a window.

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