After Donald Trump erroneously claimed he would have disarmed the Parkland, Florida school shooter with his bare hands had he been there, I thought I'd have some fun with some other potential Donald Trump never-would-ever-happen quotes. Here they are...
The Top Ten Donald Trump Denialist Quotes
10. "If I had been in Jina when they were about to invent the global warming hoax, I would have said, 'Hey, Jiiina! Cool it!,' and that would have been the end of it, folks."
9. "In the Civil War, I woulda beaten both sides with my bare hands."
8. "Darth Vader woulda died in the opening scene of Star Wars if I had been in it. I'm just sayin'. I'm just sayin'."
7. "If I had been around salt water during Hurricane Katrina, I woulda run out to it, started swimming in it, hit it with my bare hands, and it would've stopped, believe me."
6. "If I were God, I woulda created the world in 5 days."
5. "I've always said this. If I had been the 5th Beatle, John Legend woulda never gotten shot or dated that Yoko Ono chick."
4. "I've thought long and hard about this, and if I had been at that concert in Vegas when the guy shot all those people, I would have thrown my private paper airplane and killed him on the spot. I guarantee it. I guarantee it."
3. "I woulda only needed a rubberband & a Blockbuster card to kill Hitler."
2. "I really think if I had been there, I would have jumped on to the iceberg and pushed the Titanic away from it with my bare hands. I really do."
1. (drumroll) "I'm gonna build a wall and make Mexico pay for it."
The Top Ten Donald Trump Denialist Quotes
10. "If I had been in Jina when they were about to invent the global warming hoax, I would have said, 'Hey, Jiiina! Cool it!,' and that would have been the end of it, folks."
9. "In the Civil War, I woulda beaten both sides with my bare hands."
8. "Darth Vader woulda died in the opening scene of Star Wars if I had been in it. I'm just sayin'. I'm just sayin'."
7. "If I had been around salt water during Hurricane Katrina, I woulda run out to it, started swimming in it, hit it with my bare hands, and it would've stopped, believe me."
6. "If I were God, I woulda created the world in 5 days."
5. "I've always said this. If I had been the 5th Beatle, John Legend woulda never gotten shot or dated that Yoko Ono chick."
4. "I've thought long and hard about this, and if I had been at that concert in Vegas when the guy shot all those people, I would have thrown my private paper airplane and killed him on the spot. I guarantee it. I guarantee it."
3. "I woulda only needed a rubberband & a Blockbuster card to kill Hitler."
2. "I really think if I had been there, I would have jumped on to the iceberg and pushed the Titanic away from it with my bare hands. I really do."
1. (drumroll) "I'm gonna build a wall and make Mexico pay for it."
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