So, I talked to an old buddy of mine on the phone last week. He came out of the closet to his closest friends about 10 years ago and we were all fine with it. None of us were surprised. In fact, when he came out to me, I didn't even realize at first he had just come out, because rightly or wrongly, I kind of assumed it.
When he came out to his parents, unfortunately, they weren't as accepting. His mother seemed disappointed, but could live with it. His father was a different beast entirely and wanted nothing to do with him. So, my friend, I'll call him Bill, was disowned by his own parents.
Ever since that point, he's battled problems with alcohol and drugs, has moved around a bunch and has come back home wanting his parents' acceptance. They'd take him back for a short while, thinking they could "cure" him of this obvious illness and when that didn't happen, they'd kick him out again.
Just last week, Bill told me he had recently spoken to his father and his dad asked Bill, "So, are you still living 'the lifestyle'?"
Bill asked, "What lifestyle is that? Drinking or being gay?"
His father replied, "Being gay."
Bill said, "I will always be gay."
His dad then stated, "Well, as long as you're gay, you're never to step inside this household again" and he then hung up.
Bill then went into treatment for his addiction problems. He was just released today and though it is going to be a tough road ahead, he seems to think things are moving forward again and I sincerely hope they are.
But, back to the broader topic at hand, it boggles my mind how a parent(s) could disown their very own child due to his or her sexual orientation. Now, they don't have to agree with it. They don't have to become full supporters of gay marriage rights. That's their right. But, to disown their own child? I cannot not for the life of me understand that. No matter who we're talking about, whether it be a best friend, a sister, a pastor or a mere acquaintance, we're never going to fully agree with another's beliefs and/or decisions. Heck, when I look back on my own life, there were some decisions I wish I would have made differently. So, whether one's child becomes a janitor, doesn't get married, becomes Hindu or is gay, why should that detract from the love a parent or parents should feel for their own child? I wouldn't care if my kid (if I had one) was: Gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, a cross-dresser, had a sex change, was a Democrat, Republican, Independent, Libertarian, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Atheist, Agnostic, male, female, hermaphroditic, rich, middle class, poor, thin, average size, obese, etc., I'd still love them. I wouldn't agree with everything they believed and wouldn't agree with all the decisions they made, but I'd still love them. I only wish that Bill's father and other parents like him were the same way.
When he came out to his parents, unfortunately, they weren't as accepting. His mother seemed disappointed, but could live with it. His father was a different beast entirely and wanted nothing to do with him. So, my friend, I'll call him Bill, was disowned by his own parents.
Ever since that point, he's battled problems with alcohol and drugs, has moved around a bunch and has come back home wanting his parents' acceptance. They'd take him back for a short while, thinking they could "cure" him of this obvious illness and when that didn't happen, they'd kick him out again.
Just last week, Bill told me he had recently spoken to his father and his dad asked Bill, "So, are you still living 'the lifestyle'?"
Bill asked, "What lifestyle is that? Drinking or being gay?"
His father replied, "Being gay."
Bill said, "I will always be gay."
His dad then stated, "Well, as long as you're gay, you're never to step inside this household again" and he then hung up.
Bill then went into treatment for his addiction problems. He was just released today and though it is going to be a tough road ahead, he seems to think things are moving forward again and I sincerely hope they are.
But, back to the broader topic at hand, it boggles my mind how a parent(s) could disown their very own child due to his or her sexual orientation. Now, they don't have to agree with it. They don't have to become full supporters of gay marriage rights. That's their right. But, to disown their own child? I cannot not for the life of me understand that. No matter who we're talking about, whether it be a best friend, a sister, a pastor or a mere acquaintance, we're never going to fully agree with another's beliefs and/or decisions. Heck, when I look back on my own life, there were some decisions I wish I would have made differently. So, whether one's child becomes a janitor, doesn't get married, becomes Hindu or is gay, why should that detract from the love a parent or parents should feel for their own child? I wouldn't care if my kid (if I had one) was: Gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, a cross-dresser, had a sex change, was a Democrat, Republican, Independent, Libertarian, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Atheist, Agnostic, male, female, hermaphroditic, rich, middle class, poor, thin, average size, obese, etc., I'd still love them. I wouldn't agree with everything they believed and wouldn't agree with all the decisions they made, but I'd still love them. I only wish that Bill's father and other parents like him were the same way.
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