A Polish Valentine's Day (a short story I wrote)

A Polish Valentine’s Day

Setting: Valentine’s Day, at Lucinda’s office. The story will center around she and her boyfriend, Hezekiah.

Delivery person, Jose: “Hello ladies. I’ve got some flowers for all of you. Jackie, here you are. Patrice, there you go. Susanna, for you as well. Finally, well, I’m not sure what’s in this package, but it’s addressed to you, Lucinda. Here are some balloons for you as well. They say, ‘Happy VD,’ ‘You have a great VD’ and ‘VD forever!’”

::the other three ladies gather around Lucinda::

Susanna: “What do you think it could be?”

Lucinda: “I have no idea. You know Hez. You never know what to expect from him, you know?”

The three ladies in unison: “Well, open it!”

::Lucinda rips apart the package::

Jackie: “What is that?”

Lucinda: “It looks like a postcard…from Hawaii.”

Jackie: “Oh my God! Hez is taking you to Hawaii!?!”

Lucinda: “Wait, there’s some writing on the back here.”

Susanna: “What’s it say?”

Lucinda: “It says, ‘First off, don’t get your hopes up. We’re not going to Hawaii. Take a mental vacation there. Close your eyes, for just a few moments and that should do the trick. You’re welcome. Oh and don’t worry. There’s more to come. This was just the appetizer.”

Jackie: “Well, that’s…nice…I guess. I wonder what else he got you? A globe or a map?”

::after work, Lucinda meets up with Hezekiah at Runza::

Hezekiah: “Hey sweetie. How was work? Did you get my gift?”

Lucinda: “It was alright. Yes, I did. It was very…romantic... The other ladies at the office thought you were taking me to Hawaii.”

Hezekiah: “Well, did you read what I wrote on the other side of the postcard?”

Lucinda: “Yeah…”

Hezekiah: “Well, don’t worry. I brought you something else.” ::busts out a present::

::the rest of the restaurant patrons stare at the couple::

Lucinda: ::her face lights up:: “Wow. What is it?”

Hezekiah: “You’ll see. Open it.”

Lucinda: ::opens present:: “Wow…A lava lamp and a Grateful Dead poster.”

Restaurant patrons: “He totally went to Spencer’s!”

Hezekiah: “Do you like it?”

Lucinda: “Yeah, I do. Thanks, honey. A postcard, Runza, a lava lamp and a Grateful Dead poster…what more could a girl ask for?”

Hezekiah: “…and that’s not all! There’s still dessert to come! Speaking of which, are you done with your meal?”

Lucinda: “Yeah. I’m not that hungry anymore anyway.”

Hezekiah: “Okay. Here’s the plan… I’m going to head back to our place. Perhaps you can drive around the block a few times and pretend you’re a Nascar driver or something. Watch out for the kids this time, though. I don’t want to have to pay for another one's shrink. Anyway, I’ll text you when I’m ready and give you the proper directions. Okay?”

Lucinda: “Well, I think I’ll need to use the bathroom right when we get home.”

Hezekiah: “Okay, just stay in there and I’ll text you when I’m ready. Alright?”

Lucinda: “Okay, sounds good.”

::the two meet at their residence, go inside and while Lucinda is in the bathroom…::

Hezekiah: (via text) “Okay, I’m ready. Just step outside and there will be a note on the outside of the bathroom door. Read that and I’ll see you soon.”

Lucinda: (reads note) “Pick up the flashlight right in front of you and then follow the trail of footlong subs. I’ll be waiting.”

::Lucinda follows the trail of footlong subs, one after another after another until she reaches Hezekiah by the fireplace, completely naked::

Hezekiah: ::walks up to Lucinda, looks deeply into her eyes:: “Baby, for you, I won’t even charge $5. I want to give you the best VD imaginable. Come here…”