The Tale of Billy the Kid

Marilyn Milfus: "Billy, why did you take that?"

Billy Milfus: "Because it's mine! All mine!"

Marilyn: "No it's not. It's your father's. Now give it back."

Billy: "Make me!"

Marilyn: "Am I going to have to count to 10? 1...2...3...4...5...6..."

Billy: ::hands over the gun::

Marilyn: "There...that's better. Now apologize to Jerome for threatening to shoot him."

Billy: "No! Never!"

Marilyn: "That's it! Go to your room! When your father gets here..."

Billy: "No! It wasn't my fault! It was my friend, Jess!"

Marilyn: "Where's Jess at now?"

Billy: "He's right here. Can't you see him?"

Marilyn: "No... Is this that invisible friend of yours again, Billy?"

Billy: "He's not invisible. I can see him. He's the most powerful person in the world and forced me to point the gun at Jerome and say some things!"

Marilyn: "We really need to get you a new shrink. These past twelve just haven't been cutting it. ...or perhaps a girlfriend..."

Billy: "Ewww... Come on, mom. You know I think girls are gross!"

Marilyn: "Are you gay, my son? It's okay if..."

Billy: "No! That's the worst sin ever!"

Marilyn: "Worse than murder?"

Billy: "Yup. It says so in The Bible!"

Marilyn: "Where at exactly?"

Billy: "I don't know, but it's there... ...and Jess told me Jerome was gay, so that's why I threatened him, I mean why Jess forced me to threaten him."

Marilyn: "Jerome, is this true?"

Jerome Gspot: "No, ma'am. I only do it with chicks and think you're pretty hot."

Marilyn: "That's nice, sweetie. You see, Billy? He's not gay."

Billy: "Okay, but he's still a liberal, baby-killing, terrorist-sympathizing, hippie-like, socialist, Marxist, commie!"

Marilyn: "Is this true, Jerome?"

Jerome: "No. I don't even know what half those words mean."

Marilyn: "I don't think Billy does either."

Billy: "Yes I do! It's why I, I mean Jess made me point a gun at Jerome!"

Marilyn: "I thought it was because Jess told you Jerome was gay..."

Billy: "Yeah, but no, but..."

Marilyn: "You're not making any sense, Billy. Perhaps you should take a nap before you head out tonight to debate for that Republican Senate seat."

Billy: "Alright, fine..."

Marilyn: "I'll be sure to wake you up in plenty of time so that you can go and get ready. Also, while you're sleeping, I'll bring you back a McDonald's chicken nugget Happy Meal. I know how you've been collecting those little Teletubbies' figures. How does that sound?"

Billy: "Sounds great, mom! Thanks."

Marilyn: "Yeah, I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to the debate tonight. I'll be campaigning myself for a Democratic seat in the House. You certainly take after your father with your politics. Anyway, I'm really sorry I won't be able to go, so I thought the least I could do is provide my baby with a Happy Meal. Now go to sleep..."

Billy: "Okay. Goodnight, mom."

Marilyn: "Goodnight, honey."

Jerome: "I'll see you at the debate, Billy. I'm going to take you down!"

Billy: "Yeah, whatever. Just remember my dad can beat up your dad!"

Jerome: "Uh-huh. By the way, I've been doing your mom. Ready for me to fill you up with my own Happy Meal, Mrs. M.?"

Another look at "The Nightly Show" with Larry Wilmore

After its first week, I gave The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore a B+ grade. While I didn't think the show appeared to be perfect by any stretch of the imagination, I also liked the Daily Show meets Politically Incorrect vibe I got from it, and thought, with the proper adjustments, the show would indeed provide a great fill-in for The Colbert Report . In the show's succeeding weeks, however, I've been less impressed by it and think that if it doesn't make certain adjustments, it could be in jeopardy of losing many long-time viewers of the show's time slot. One major issue I think the show's had to this point is a lack of direction. It's been unable to decide whether it wants to be a comedy show with serious conversation sprinkled in or a serious show with comedy sprinkled in. It's almost as if the show's writers want to give The Nightly Show a Real Time with Bill Maher feel. The problem with that idea or format is the fact Real Time is an hour lon...

My first book review of "Penetrating the Heart of Life: Ambiguous In Thought, Ambivalent In Feeling"

Well, I received my first book review on this poetry-compilation book I completed and published late last year, but have finally gotten around to marketing now. The reviewer gave it 5 out of 5 stars and said: "I enjoyed the poetic journey the writer has taken me on. From darkest days and hopeful optimism to the conclusion of hope realized. The visual images that the poem titled "Room Temperature" elicits, made me think of the song, "Horse With No Name" sung by the band America. In a similar manner, another poem – "Deafening Sigh-lence" reminded me a great deal of Simon & Garfunkel’s song, "The Sound of Silence". There are so many poems in this book that I related to, that I felt a connection to the author and felt that we were traveling on this journey together." http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/penetrating-the-heart-of-life-ambiguous-in-thought-ambivalent-in-feeling/paperback/product-18677501.html

Book Ranking Update

Three of my four books are now in the top 100,000, including one of the new two: "The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck (censored version)" (2011) - 149,246 "The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s (uncensored version)" (2011) - 96,347 "Seasons Come, People Grow: A Poetic Journey" (2006) - 57,336 "The Serious Scale of Sarcasm: More Balanced Than a Drunken High-Heeled Clown On a Tight Rope" (2007) - 39,666 Let's keep those numbers going in the right direction, meaning down, I suppose! (http://www.lulu.com or can be purchased elsewhere)

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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