With the recent debate regarding mandatory vaccinations for our children in light of a measles outbreak, Iowa Senator Joni Ernst thought she'd offer some insight of her own on the matter, taking the conversation in an entirely different direction when she told me this:
"While some of my Republican brothers and sisters in Washington and elsewhere, as well as some of those liberal hippiesters people out in California, have declared that it should be up to the parents whether to vaccinate their kids or not, and the president and many other Democrats have said that these vaccinations should be required, I'd like to pose a different option to perhaps bring both parties together - bread bags. Bread bags are kind of like duct tape or Windex from that Geek Wedding movie - they can be used for literally, I mean virtually, no, literally anything. I used to walk and run marathons in those things. It's like Nancy Sinatra sang that one time, 'Bread bags are made for walking,' you know? I also use bread bags as gardening gloves, a stylish hat when I decide to go out, boxing gloves when I workout, a pillow to sleep on at night, or an ice pack for my knees. But not only can they be used for all of these things, I think they can replace vaccines as a way of doing away with measles! They can do everything else, so why not, right? All you have to do is, while wearing bread bags on your hands, feet, and head, you take a needle and inject a piece of a bread bag in one of your veins. If you do this once a day for I don't know how long, then I seriously think we can defeat measles once and for all!"
When asked if she knew any other Nancy Sinatra songs, Ernst shook her head, but said, "I was never big into Frank Sinatra. The one song of his I could never stand was 'Bread Bags in New York.' Elitist New Yorkers just think their bread bags are so special. Iowa and other places like it are where the real bread bags are at!"
"While some of my Republican brothers and sisters in Washington and elsewhere, as well as some of those liberal hippiesters people out in California, have declared that it should be up to the parents whether to vaccinate their kids or not, and the president and many other Democrats have said that these vaccinations should be required, I'd like to pose a different option to perhaps bring both parties together - bread bags. Bread bags are kind of like duct tape or Windex from that Geek Wedding movie - they can be used for literally, I mean virtually, no, literally anything. I used to walk and run marathons in those things. It's like Nancy Sinatra sang that one time, 'Bread bags are made for walking,' you know? I also use bread bags as gardening gloves, a stylish hat when I decide to go out, boxing gloves when I workout, a pillow to sleep on at night, or an ice pack for my knees. But not only can they be used for all of these things, I think they can replace vaccines as a way of doing away with measles! They can do everything else, so why not, right? All you have to do is, while wearing bread bags on your hands, feet, and head, you take a needle and inject a piece of a bread bag in one of your veins. If you do this once a day for I don't know how long, then I seriously think we can defeat measles once and for all!"
When asked if she knew any other Nancy Sinatra songs, Ernst shook her head, but said, "I was never big into Frank Sinatra. The one song of his I could never stand was 'Bread Bags in New York.' Elitist New Yorkers just think their bread bags are so special. Iowa and other places like it are where the real bread bags are at!"
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