Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 10 of the NFL Season

In Week 10 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...the Pittsburgh Steelers miss Le'Veon Bell about as much as Grand Theft Auto wants smart cars. 

- ...Mariota is Hawaiian for "Peace, love, and kicking the ever living crap out of Tom Brady."

- ...the Cleveland Browns defense has been able to accomplish what President Trump hasn't - building a wall along the goalline and making opposing offenses pay for it.

- ...Arizona Cardinals quarterback Josh Rosen gets hit so many times, there's now a picture of him in the dictionary next to the term piñata.

- ...the Atlanta Falcons are less consistent than Stevie Wonder at a shooting range.

- ...Los Angeles Rams defensive tackle Aaron Donald gets to the quarterback faster than a stoner nicknamed Chubs McSugartits gets to the Twinkie aisle of a grocery store after chilling with Cheech and Chong at a Phish concert.

- ..., even if the Oakland Raiders lead in the first quarter, Vegas claims that there's still a 110% chance they'll wind up losing.

- ...Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford spends more time on his ass than Norm if Cheers were a 24-hour establishment.

- ...officials are throwing flags at a greater clip than Pinocchio would let "alternative facts" fly had he been mentored by Kellyanne Conway.

- ..., while Tony Romo regularly calls plays before they happen, former teammate Jason Witten has trouble explaining these same plays two hours after they took place. Romo: "Russell Wilson is going to act like he's running a naked bootleg to the strong side of the field, before stepping back and hitting the tailback on a wheel route." Witten: "Wilson moved in a direction. He then kind of stopped, but not completely. I mean, he's still alive and breathing, you know? Then the ball came out of his hand and a player on his team got it in his hands. Then... wait, I'm going to have to rewind this again. Is this VHS?"
Labels:

Comments

  1. SarcasmMyShieldNovember 14, 2018 at 11:50 PM

    Even if the math doesn't exactly add up, if those odds are about the Oakland Raiders, I can still see it. And poor Chubs McSugartits will never land his dream date with Little Debbie if you keep advertising his alleged infatuation with that flirty Hostess. Haha :)
    Another lovely post! :)
    SarcasmMyShield

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

A closer look at the Scramble With Friends power-ups

I am unashamed to admit that I'm a nerd. My idea of a good time is playing a word game like Boggle or Scrabble. Thankfully, I (and many others) can play such games via Facebook and/or my (our) cell phone(s). While it seems that cheating has become more commonplace in these games (Words With Friends in particular) than San Diego has had nice weather, I've yet to give in to that craze. One element present with the game Scramble With Friends (Boggle) not present in Words With Friends (Scrabble) are legal boosts called "power-ups," which cost a number of tokens from the 15 available. I've now tried all five power-ups, including the latest one which costs money. So, in case anyone's curious about playing the game or giving these power-ups a gander, here's a rundown of them all: Freeze - I think this is probably my favorite of all the power-ups. With the freeze, time stands still for a matter of seconds, which allows you more time to find words and improve...
Post a Comment
Read more

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...
2 comments
Read more