In Week 8 of the NFL season, I learned that...
- ...Tom Brady may have had more to do with the Belichick magic than his hoodie.
- ...the New York Jets suck more than Donald Trump does Vladimir Putin on Valentine's Day.
- ..., since no one on his team seems able to pronounce his name, Miami Dolphins rookie quarterback Tua Tagovailoa has told his teammates to simply call him T.T. or Taco Bell.
- ..., rumor has it both Lamar Jackson and Jared Goff recently undergone vasectomies, for they keep seeming to lose their balls.
- ..., when asked about the Cincinnati Bengals and Cleveland Browns, the construction workers from the film "Major League" said, "These guys aren't too f*cking bad."
- ..., after pulling Patrick Mahomes out early in back-to-back weeks, doctors have diagnosed the Kansas City Chiefs with premature domination.
- ...Dalvin Cook has got so much game, he can even score on virgins named Chastity McNocoitusforyou.
- ..., due to the record number of penalties being called, what was once coined "tennis elbow" will now be termed "flag-throwing arm."
- ...the word "least" called and said it wanted to be changed to "even worse than that," so no one could ever again say, "You can't spell 'least' without (NFC) 'East.'"
- ...there will inevitably be a film released in the next handful of years, entitled, "The Curious Case of Cam Newton," where just overnight, a 31-year-old man looks 78.
I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
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