It seems that every time I listen to Donald Trump speak, I'm left flabbergasted as to how this man could have become our president. A recent speech he gave in front of the United States Navy aboard the USS Gerald R. Ford in Newport News, Virginia, was no exception.
When reading this speech, like most Donald Trump speeches, I envisioned him being drunk, because that's how he comes across. The speech was written at a grade 7 reading level (which means it can be understood by most 12-13-year-olds). While the average number of words per sentence is preferred to be in the 15 to 20 range, Trump's average was 11.53. Similarly, his average number of syllables per word was lower than the average overall, as he averaged 1.44 compared to 1.66, which is considered "normal."
Here are some of the standout moments from Trump's speech:
"Thank you. Thank you very much. What an honor. They just gave me this beautiful jacket. They said, here, Mr. President, please take this home. I said, let me wear it. And then they gave me the beautiful hat, and I said, you know, maybe I'll do that. We have a great 'Make America Great Again' hat, but I said, this is a special day, we're wearing this. Right? I have no idea how it looks, but I think it looks good. It's a great-looking hat -- just like this is a great-looking ship."
This is how he started the speech. The man already sounds stoned or drunk off his rocker. In my opinion, why stop there? He should have continued with something like, "They just gave me this beautiful jacket. I said let me wear it and I did. Then they gave me a beautiful hat and I wore that too. See my shoes? I got those a little while back. Aren't they nice and shiny? Am I wearing socks? Let me look. Yes, I am. See them? I can't remember when or where I got those. I bet it was at a nice place, though, like really nice, bigly nice. I'm also wearing a shirt and pants and tie and undies. I'm not going to show you these undies, though, okay? These are undies only my three wives have seen, I think. Well, anyway, where was I? Who else here is wearing clothes of any kind?"
"The soon-to-be commissioned Gerald R. Ford USS -- what a place. It really feels like a place. You stand on that deck, and you feel like you're standing on a very big piece of land. But this is better than land. It will not only be a great symbol of American strength, but a great legacy for your father, and our former President, Gerald Ford."
Here comes the Stoner-In-Chief once again! "Hey Cheech. Close your eyes, mon. Breathe the air. Feel the air. Be the air. Smell the, uh, air, you know? It's all around you, mon. Where we are, like right now, is somewhere out there. We're like in a place mon, like seriously. We're standing on land, but it's like more than land; it's like super-land and sh*t, you know? Far out! Okay, give me another hit!"
"America has always been the country that boldly leads the world into the future, and my budget will ensure we do so and continue to do exactly that. American ships will sail the seas. American planes will soar the skies. American workers will build our fleets. And America’s military will ensure that even though the darkest nights and throughout, a bright and glowing sun will always shine on our nation and on our people. Our Navy is great. Our Navy is great. Our people are great. Great."
Create a hybrid of Idiocracy and the Home Shopping Network and this is what you get. "See this lamp? It's like great, like really really great! ...and then this other thing? What's it called? I'm so bad with big words. Oh yeah, this tire, this is even greater than the lamp deal, believe me! What else do we have here today? Bug spray? Great! A VHS tape? Greater! Me at half off? Greatest! Fact!"
Trump's speech in its entirety can be read here:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/03/02/remarks-president-trump-aboard-uss-gerald-r-ford
https://strainindex.wordpress.com/2010/03/13/syllable-word-and-sentence-length/
http://www.webpagefx.com/tools/read-able/check.php
When reading this speech, like most Donald Trump speeches, I envisioned him being drunk, because that's how he comes across. The speech was written at a grade 7 reading level (which means it can be understood by most 12-13-year-olds). While the average number of words per sentence is preferred to be in the 15 to 20 range, Trump's average was 11.53. Similarly, his average number of syllables per word was lower than the average overall, as he averaged 1.44 compared to 1.66, which is considered "normal."
Here are some of the standout moments from Trump's speech:
"Thank you. Thank you very much. What an honor. They just gave me this beautiful jacket. They said, here, Mr. President, please take this home. I said, let me wear it. And then they gave me the beautiful hat, and I said, you know, maybe I'll do that. We have a great 'Make America Great Again' hat, but I said, this is a special day, we're wearing this. Right? I have no idea how it looks, but I think it looks good. It's a great-looking hat -- just like this is a great-looking ship."
This is how he started the speech. The man already sounds stoned or drunk off his rocker. In my opinion, why stop there? He should have continued with something like, "They just gave me this beautiful jacket. I said let me wear it and I did. Then they gave me a beautiful hat and I wore that too. See my shoes? I got those a little while back. Aren't they nice and shiny? Am I wearing socks? Let me look. Yes, I am. See them? I can't remember when or where I got those. I bet it was at a nice place, though, like really nice, bigly nice. I'm also wearing a shirt and pants and tie and undies. I'm not going to show you these undies, though, okay? These are undies only my three wives have seen, I think. Well, anyway, where was I? Who else here is wearing clothes of any kind?"
"The soon-to-be commissioned Gerald R. Ford USS -- what a place. It really feels like a place. You stand on that deck, and you feel like you're standing on a very big piece of land. But this is better than land. It will not only be a great symbol of American strength, but a great legacy for your father, and our former President, Gerald Ford."
Here comes the Stoner-In-Chief once again! "Hey Cheech. Close your eyes, mon. Breathe the air. Feel the air. Be the air. Smell the, uh, air, you know? It's all around you, mon. Where we are, like right now, is somewhere out there. We're like in a place mon, like seriously. We're standing on land, but it's like more than land; it's like super-land and sh*t, you know? Far out! Okay, give me another hit!"
"America has always been the country that boldly leads the world into the future, and my budget will ensure we do so and continue to do exactly that. American ships will sail the seas. American planes will soar the skies. American workers will build our fleets. And America’s military will ensure that even though the darkest nights and throughout, a bright and glowing sun will always shine on our nation and on our people. Our Navy is great. Our Navy is great. Our people are great. Great."
Create a hybrid of Idiocracy and the Home Shopping Network and this is what you get. "See this lamp? It's like great, like really really great! ...and then this other thing? What's it called? I'm so bad with big words. Oh yeah, this tire, this is even greater than the lamp deal, believe me! What else do we have here today? Bug spray? Great! A VHS tape? Greater! Me at half off? Greatest! Fact!"
Trump's speech in its entirety can be read here:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/03/02/remarks-president-trump-aboard-uss-gerald-r-ford
https://strainindex.wordpress.com/2010/03/13/syllable-word-and-sentence-length/
http://www.webpagefx.com/tools/read-able/check.php
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